Penguin Death Zone

2009-10-15T14:00:00.000+08:00

A fine young man he was...

How time flies...

Eh I looked dam cute right? LOLz!

2009-10-14T11:31:00.004+08:00

My Motivational Behavior


Behavioral Approach	90
Drive	75
Fun Seeking	92
Reward Responsiveness	100
Behavioral Inhibition	67
Avoidance	67

You are a very driven and motivated person, with a positive outlook towards completing tasks. You work hard and play hard and are very responsive to positive motivation.You have a very strong drive to complete tasks that you have set yourself, or that others have set for you. You actively seek out activities that will make you happy, including parties, hanging out with family and friends or even thrill seeking through sports etc... You also tend to be fairly impulsive.

You are very motivated by seeking reward for your behaviour. The offer of a reward (such as a promotion for working hard or winning a bet) will keep you motivated to complete difficult activities. Your major motivation is to avoid things that you don't like. This can mean organising your life to avoid activities you don't enjoy, or to escape punishment or pain. You can also tend to be a fairly nervous person.

2009-10-14T11:23:00.003+08:00

My Personality


Neuroticism	88
Extraversion	86
Openness to Experience	53
Agreeableness	69
Conscientiousness	58

Mostly your emotions are on an even keel and you do not get depressed easily, however you experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. You are an active group participant but usually prefer to let someone else be the group leader. You prefer familiar routines and for things to stay the same. You can tend to feel uncomfortable with change. You find helping other people genuinely rewarding and are generally willing to assist those who are in need. You find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice, however you are not adverse to confrontation and will sometimes even intimidate others to get your own way. You have a strong sense of duty and obligation, and feel a moral obligation to do the right thing.

Neuroticism

explanation | back to top

Overall Score	88
Anxiety	92
Anger	74
Depression	54
Self-Consciousness	65
Immoderation	75
Vulnerability	99

You feel tense, jittery, and nervous and often feel like something dangerous is about to happen. You may be afraid of specific situations or be just generally fearful. You feel enraged when things do not go your way. You are sensitive about being treated fairly and feel resentful and bitter if you think you are being cheated. Mostly your emotions are on an even keel and you do not get depressed easily. You are not generally self conscious about yourself. You feel strong cravings and urges that you have difficulty resisting. You tend to prefer short-term pleasures and rewards over long-term consequences. You experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress.

Extraversion

explanation | back to top

Overall Score	86
Friendliness	79
Gregariousness	92
Assertiveness	49
Activity Level	86
Excitement-Seeking	74
Cheerfulness	74

You genuinely like other people and openly demonstrate positive feelings toward others. You make friends quickly and it is easy for you to form close, intimate relationships. You find the company of others pleasantly stimulating and rewarding, and you enjoy the excitement that crowds provide. You are an active group participant but usually prefer to let someone else be the group leader. You lead a fast-paced and busy life. You move about quickly, energetically, and vigorously and are involved in many activities. You love bright lights and hustle and bustle. You are likely to take risks and seek thrills. You experience a range of positive feelings, including happiness, enthusiasm, optimism, and joy.

Openness to Experience

explanation | back to top

Overall Score	53
Imagination	77
Artistic Interests	72
Emotionality	66
Adventurousness	5
Intellect	35
Liberalism	63

Often you find the real world is too plain and ordinary for your liking, and you use fantasy as a way of creating a richer, more interesting world for yourself. You love beauty, both in art and in nature. Sometimes you become easily involved and absorbed in artistic and natural events. Generally you are not considered to be an emotional person, however you are aware of and in touch with your emotions. You prefer familiar routines and for things to stay the same. You can tend to feel uncomfortable with change. You enjoy a certain amount of debate or intellectual thought, but sometimes get bored with too much. You like the security of tradition, but sometimes have a desire to bend the rules and challenge conventional thinking.

Agreeableness

explanation | back to top

Overall Score	69
Trust	76
Morality	62
Altruism	87
Cooperation	27
Modesty	50
Sympathy	80

You naturally assume that most people are fair, honest, and have good intentions. There are times when you believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary, however you are mostly candid, frank and sincere. People find it moderately easy to relate to you. You find helping other people genuinely rewarding and are generally willing to assist those who are in need. You find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice. You are not adverse to confrontation and will sometimes even intimidate others to get your own way. You are willing to take credit for good things that you do but you don't often talk yourself up much. You are tenderhearted and compassionate, feeling the pain of others vicariously and are easily moved to pity.

Conscientiousness

explanation | back to top

Overall Score	58
Self-Efficacy	60
Orderliness	50
Dutifulness	82
Achievement-Striving	73
Self-Discipline	68
Cautiousness	17

You are moderately confident that you can achieve the goals you set yourself. You are a reasonably organized person and like to have a certain amount of routine in your life. You have a strong sense of duty and obligation, and feel a moral obligation to do the right thing. You strive hard to achieve excellence. Your drive to be recognized as successful keeps you on track toward your lofty goals. You often have a strong sense of direction in life, but may sometimes be too single-minded and obsessed with your work. You have strong will-power and are able to overcome your reluctance to begin tasks. You are able to stay on track despite distractions. You often say or do the first thing that comes to mind without deliberating alternatives and the probable consequences of those alternatives.

2009-10-14T10:51:00.000+08:00

Michael Schumacher vs. Felipe Massa

MS: Joined Ferrari in 1996. Good start, took a few wins.
FM: Joined Ferrari in 2006. Good start, took a few wins.

MS: Picked up pace in 1997, won more races.
FM: Picked up pace in 2007, won more races.

MS: Lost championship at final round to McLaren.
FM: Lost championship at final round to McLaren.

MS: Broke leg halfway through 1999, missed most of rest of the season.
FM: Injured in crash halfway through 2009, missed rest of the season.

If the trend continues, Felipe should in theory win it in 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013 and 2014

Source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/606/A58344618

2009-10-10T02:30:00.001+08:00

Name: Sean Lee
Date: 10/9/2009
Colorgenics Number: 14325607

You are seeking an affectionate relationship, offering fulfilment and happiness. You are capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Deep down, you are a kind loving person, always helpful and willing to adapt yourself if necessary to realise the bond of affection that you desire. But you need the same consideration and understanding from others and it is this need that will sometimes hold you back... so let go, trust and you may pleasantly surprised at what happens.

You are a leader in every sense of the word. You know where you are going and you know what you need to do in order to get there. You exercise an inherent initiative in overcoming obstacles and difficulties. You either hold, or wish to achieve, a position of authority by means of which full control can be exerted over events.

Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the 'you' that you would like to be - give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

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What a great change from a few days ago. Yea I want an affectionate relationship! :)

2009-10-09T21:25:00.006+08:00

Analysis of Results

Yet another case of underperforming.

Do I honestly think that my score is satisfying?

No. To be performing below your expectations when you think (or know) you have a largely untapped potential...the feeling is really indescribable...it's sad (then again, it's better than not having any potential haha, but I'm sure no one falls under that category anywayz).

Granted I was sick during Math Paper 2, and so I couldn't really keep my head straight. Granted I didn't get the most lenient of markers for Chem, Econs...especially Englissh...

Nonetheless, I didn't do as well as I could have. I fell short of my targetted prelim score of 35 (which I still think is my REAL score...but maybe I'm just being delusional haha).

But...my score is currently not too bad. If that's God's will then so be it. At least I know what to work on now.

Bio, Chem and Econs will give me my 7s for IB.

I'll have to work on Math. It'll take a huge miracle to do a big jump to a 7.

English...well time to re read the texts and yea another huge miracle to give me a 7 (and lots of luck)

So yea, for my main papers I have to jump my grades from 31 to 42. Gosh. Can it be done?

I hope so. In that, I hope to emulate my O' level year (I pray that I will not choke at the end) where I vaulted myself from being a total failure to being one of the front runners. Well this should be easier, vaulting myself from midfield to being a frontrunner...yea...should be...honestly I'm not getting as much support as I had in my O level year though, but nonetheless I'm satisfied with the amount of support I'm getting now.

After today, no more messing around.

Forget silencing all the critics. I wanna bring glory to God's name, by showing the world that even an underachiever like me can get top grades by the Spirit of God.

Wish me Godspeed.

God willing, I'll make the breakthrough.

and I still remember God's promise "Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." (Proverbs 16:3)

So Lord, I'll work hard starting tomorrow. I'm not going to be messing around anymore. I'll put in my 110%. Grant me a top grade, ideally 45, because I know You can work miracles in an underachiever like me, as I seek to glorify Your name. Because, I can work all I want, and it is only through You that these grades can come in. By Your power and mercy, and not my work, though I will do my part. So Lord, hear my humble prayer for Your help. Because really, I know You can work miracles in me, and I seek to show the world how amazing You are.

Nonetheless, Your will, not mine.

2009-10-07T01:57:00.002+08:00

Colourgenics (In advance)

A lot of change has been happening in my life lately, therefore a colourgenics test is done in advance to show the distinct contrast between now and about less than a fortnight ago.

Name: Sean Lee
Date: 10/6/2009
Colorgenics Number: 72150346

You are trying desperately to prove yourself. You are going at it hammer and tongs in order to get your own way. You oppose any sort of restriction or opposition to your own point of view in the belief that this could prove you how self determined you are.

You are a very warm and emotional individual but unfortunately in the past too many people have taken advantage of this sensitive trait. You need aesthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm understanding.

You feel tired - worn out and listless. The last thing that you want to do is to be in an open conflict with those around you that are forever tormenting you. What to do? That's the rub. You are feeling that you are being choked - unable to breathe.

You are pretending that the situation around you doesn't matter, but the effort of trying to conceal your emotions and anxieties is resulting in untold stress. The existing situation is disagreeable. You feel unwanted and lonely and you would really like to associate with someone whose ideals are as high as your own. You want to be above the standard of mediocrity and this need to be needed and that need to need has almost become an obsession. You are trying to magnify the need into a compelling urge. You would really like to tell the world how great you are but no, you are holding back because you feel that your peers may treat you with contempt. This is a great pity because you have in fact a unique quality of character, but the continual restraint that you impose on yourself makes you suppress this need for others and you pretend you don't really care. You treat those who criticise you with contempt. However, to be honest, beneath this assumption of indifference you really long for the approval and esteem of others.

The need for admiration and to be regarded as 'someone special' is perhaps one of the foremost aims in your life at this time. You would like to perhaps do something outrageous or anything that will give you the chance to be recognised as someone special. This desire has now almost become an obsession and in your own way you are trying to fulfil this 'complex' by ensuring you are the centre of attention, both at work or play, or in the home. Stop trying so hard and you will find that people will like you for who you are - not for who you are pretending to be.

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Based on observations in this week (and last weekend), I probably agree with everything except "Stop trying so hard and you will find that people will like you for who you are - not for who you are pretending to be."

I don't know why, but apparently even all types of aged wine (If you've read my posts, you'd likely get an idea) probably can't accept me for who I am.

So there it goes. I hope this changes soon. I don't want to keep feeling in this mood. Sometimes I wish that I can be special even without trying...

2009-10-06T22:25:00.003+08:00

Wine tastes better as it ages, and yet...when the aging process isn't done right...

It becomes sour.

I taste the wine, I hold my tongue, cringe and say, "Err. yup...very good... this is good wine... "

Even though all I taste in my mouse is vinegar...

But yet, I still refuse to totally reject the wine, because my mind is already set on the fact that the aged wine is good.

...

I don't know if I'm fooling myself or not.

2009-10-06T16:01:00.001+08:00

KEEPING SECRETS

Guarding a secret is the same as guarding one’s chastity. Those who keep a secret, whether personal or a friend’s, keep themselves chaste. Conversely, those who spread secrets damage their honor and reputation by leaving them unguarded.

If you want to tell someone a secret, be sure that you could trust him or her with your honor. He or she must be as meticulous about keeping your secret as he or she would be about his or her own honor. An unreliable person, one who is ignorant of the value of chastity, should not be entrusted with keeping your secret.

Keeping a secret and respecting the secrets of others, as opposed to prying into them, is a virtue related to self-discipline and sensitivity. Those who lack understanding cannot guard a secret, and those who do not care about the consequences of words and actions cannot be considered discreet.

It is usually wiser not to relate your private concerns to others, especially if they are unattractive, offensive, or lacking in merit. To do so can embarrass loved ones and delight enemies, and have other unpleasant consequences as well.

Hearts are created as safes for keeping secrets. Intelligence is their lock; will-power is their key. No one can break into the safe and steal its valuables if the lock or key are not faulty.

Bear in mind that those who carry others’ secrets to you might bear yours to others. Do not give such tactless people any chance to learn even the smallest details of your private concerns.

If you entrust another secret to someone who previously disclosed one, your lack of perception and poor judgment in choosing a confidant is plain for all to see. One whose own heart is firm on this matter and who is vigilant cannot be deceived and seduced repeatedly in this way.

There are secrets related to the person, the family, and the nation. By disclosing a personal secret, you are interfering with a person’s honor; by disclosing a family secret, you are interfering with the family’s honor; and by disclosing a national secret, you are interfering with the nation’s honor. A secret is a power only as long as it stays with its owner, but is a weapon that may be used against its owner if it passes into the hands of others. This is the meaning of one of our traditional sayings: “The secret is your slave, but you become its slave if you disclose it.”

The details of many important affairs can be protected only if they are kept secret. Often enough, when the involved parties do not keep certain matters secret, no progress is achieved. In addition, serious risks might confront those who are involved, particularly if the matter concerns delicate issues of national life and its continuation.

If a state cannot protect its secrets from its enemies, it cannot develop. If an army reveals its strategy to its antagonists, it cannot attain victory. If key workers are won over by the competitors, their employers cannot succeed.

Explain what you must, but never give away all of your secrets. Those who freely publicize the secrets of their hearts drag themselves and their nation toward an inevitable downfall.

Source: http://www.thewaytotruth.org/pearls/secrets.html

2009-09-30T13:42:00.010+08:00

Comrades

There are actually 3 kinds of friends in this world. A, B, and C (a change from X, Y and Z ... haha). C is the type who is just there for the sake of being there, something like an acquantance, and I shan't touch on him so much. B is one who is the epitome of objectivity, he is one knows all his facts, weighs up all sides and judges accordingly based on concrete evidence. While B is objective, A is more subjective. A is one who is loyal and sticks by your side no matter what, whether you are right or wrong, and does not jump on the bandwagon. In a nutshell, A is loyal to people and not to principles.

One fine day, you and your three friends A, B and C are sent to a war. Let's assume you and your 3 friends are on patrol duty. However, you accidentally walk onto neutral territory and break a sacred object there. For that, the neutrals decide they are after your head.

You are miles away from the headquarters, and thus reinforcements cannot come in time to save you. The neutrals, ever fueled by the anger of you breaking their sacred object, start charging towards you with arms. You run away, but you fall down and break your leg, and you are unable to continue. You know that it is a matter of time before the neutrals come. You turn to your friends for help.

C says, "Sorry, I have many other friends so I don't care about what happens to you."

And so C leaves.

B says, "I've weighed up all the facts and arguments. Objectively speaking, you are actually in the wrong for breaking the sacred object. Therefore, they are right to come after you. Thanks for being my friend anyway. Goodbye."

And so B leaves.

A says, "I know you are wrong for breaking the object, but you are my friend and I will defend you no matter what happens, even with my life"

And so A stays.
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Whether they live, nobody knows. Oh the mystery. Such is the beauty of friendship.

"A true friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

2009-09-30T01:26:00.003+08:00

"In economics, the balance of payments, (or BOP) measures the payments that flow between any individual country and all other countries. It is used to summarize all international economic transactions for that country during a specific time period, usually a year. The BOP is determined by the country's exports and imports of goods, services, and financial capital, as well as financial transfers. It reflects all payments and liabilities to foreigners (debits) and all payments and obligations received from foreigners (credits). Balance of payments is one of the major indicators of a country's status in international trade, with net capital outflow."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balance_of_payments

Heres the context in which my poem has been written in. For the past few days, I have ventured into the morally gray (I will be doing a commentary about "God and the morally gray" in time to come) in order to fight against injustice. Until now, I have no idea whether I did right or wrong (hence, my experiences will be used as input for the post).

This poem speaks of my desire to come clean, and explains things from my point of view. Perhaps I should not have used the morally gray approach, however at times I find that desperate times call for desparate measures. Furthermore, seeing a good friend being made into a subject of humiliation just because of his so-called inability to perform in a particular game makes my blood want to boil.

And before my poem starts, I leave you all with a quote I recently found.

"All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke.

As long as I see evil, I will opposite it. The end.

And with that, I bring you readers my poem, titled "Balance of Payments".

Balance of Payments

A summary at disequilibrium
A defence for my guilty transactions
A subtle, impactful, stone written piece
A sheet that is so true, and meaningful
Blatantly obvious – Balance of Payments

Some sheets enjoy a surplus. Good for them.
And services positive. Some will go
Keynesian. Short term pain for long term gain
Many are in deficit. Good for us.
Living for the present isn’t a gift

My sheet mirrors my soul – Truth and meaning.
The currency of transfer, no one knows.
Keynesian. Short term pain for long term pain
Currently, I do not know where I stand
Capitally, excess long term outflow.

I once said to my teacher,” Please tell me
What is the point of this useless piece of sheet?”
He answered, “So you know what benefits
You, What helps you. What harms you. Good and bad”
Our underrated sheet mirrors our soul.

So I come clean now with no strings attached
I may have dwelt in the gray like you but
My intentions have been sparkling white and
Yours have been tainted black but whitewashed well
Radials contract, circulars relax

Now did that help you see your piece of sheet?
Dilate your pupils and don’t blink away
Dark Knight has made a Joker out of you
With pseudonyms I fought your injustice
Open your eyes to your sheet. Dare to add?

I do. Your constant practice of dumping
Drives innocents into a deficit
Their poverty cycle is your transport
Red lights, humps, stop signs, I embodied all
Now what were you saying about stocking?

If your feet still fail to match my shoe size,
Develop your cerebral hemispheres
I'll practice protectionism until
You stop your dumping, wave your white flag then
Come say my stocking is irritating

2009-09-26T17:27:00.000+08:00

Colourgenics (For this month)

Name: z
Date: 9/26/2009
Colorgenics Number: 32145607

You are tending to pursue your objectives with concentrated intensity and it would seem that whatever obstacles may come into your path, you will stick to your guns and will not allow yourself to be deflected from your purpose. You are striving to achieve recognition and what is more - you deserve it.

You are willing to try anything once. You 'need to be needed' and what is perhaps more important you 'need to need.' You can only feel close to a person or persons when you feel you can trust them, but this trust needs to be proven to you.

You don't like authority and you rebel against all forms of limitation. You are your own person and you intend to stay that way and to get on in the world simply by your hard work and determination.

2009-09-21T22:14:00.003+08:00

Kimi Raikkonen has signed an "outline agreement" to kick off a second tenure with the McLaren team beginning next season, the Mirror newspaper reported on Sunday.

http://en.f1-live.com/f1/en/headlines/news/detail/090920103457.shtml

Not possible...please say it's just a rumour...

Nonetheless, even if it's true, I'm really happy for all the contributions that Raikkonen has made for Ferrari...

But if he goes back to McLaren...well...he shouldn't be surprised if he gets a sharp drop in popularity...

And who do you think will replace Raikkonen? I think...it'll most probably be Fernando Alonso...

Though it's best to keep the Raikkonen and Massa pairing intact...

2009-09-18T13:15:00.013+08:00

The Thinking Christian

I took this title from the September 17th article of Our Daily Bread. Here is a link to the article: http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/our-daily-bread/2009/09/17/devotion.aspx

You look at the title of this post and wonder what on earth I'm trying to say. I know some people will think the idea of a "Thinking Christian" is rather paradoxical. Many will think that is some sort of a contradiction, that Christians are naive. I have been to enough forums and websites to know that there are many people who think that Christians are just following blindly rather than actually being thinkers.

In some ways, they are partially right. I follow a God I cannot understand. Well, because He is God. If I could fully understand God, then I'm not human.

Nonetheless, I make this post with regard to issues relating to "Why do we pray?", "Why does God put me on this planet when He knows what the future holds, like whether I'm going to hell or heaven?", "How do we know what God wants us to do?", "How much does God love me?" and perhaps other themes will be covered as I plan to answer those questions. I must quote from Our Daily Bread when it was mentioned that "Faith was never intended as a substitute for intelligence". Yes. God does not want us to follow Him blindly. He wants us to actually truly reflect on His word, and what it all actually means. Of course, those questions above were some of the questions that were bothering me, and I have thought about them over many days. I must say that I am a person who believes in logic, and that I really get uncomfortable if something doesn't make any sense to me. In my attempt to answer these questions, I've also consulted other people, read through websites and of course reading and re-reading certain portions of the Bible. Thus, to allow others to benefit from my experiences, I attempt to answer these questions to the best of my ability with all the sources I have consulted over the past weeks. In answering these questions, some of my answers may overlap. That is expected, because that's the beauty of God, knowing just one thing about Him can lead to so many answers (and perhaps even more questions too, again another beauty of God!).
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Even though not really made public, there is definitely a huge debate going on (well, at least within my mind, and perhaps the minds of many others) about why we should pray. Where does this debate stem from? Well, many people will say that since the future is already in God's hands, why do we need to pray? If God already knows what is best for me, why do I have to ask Him for what I need? For some, they would perhaps say that since God doesn't seem to be answering their prayers, why should they continue?

Questions and questions about why prayer is necessary just keep coming. I'm pretty sure too that God doesn't want us to be praying blindly. Can you imagine if your friend picks up the phone, never dials your number but starts talking? Yup, that's "talking blindly (LOL!)" So definitely, when you call your friend, or if your friend calls you, you'd definitely want to have some form of connection with him/her.

So yes, allow me to give the analogy of a little girl and some toys.

Let's say theres a father there. Now, the little girl wants to reach for a toy at the top of the shelves, but of course it is too high up for her. Let's say the father stands there, and watches her struggle to take the toys, but she can't. So the little girl gets tired, and feels rather sad at not being able to reach for the toys. She looks at the father with a sad look on her face, knowing that her best was just not enough, and she says "Daddy, can you get that toy for me?". Of course, the father picks up the toy and passes it to the girl, who becomes happy.

You see, prayer is like how the little girl asks her father to get the toy for her. Of course, we want something other than just mere toys, so we should ask God in the form of prayer. When we pray, we acknowledge that God is almighty and can grant us the desires of our hearts. When we pray, we acknowledge that we are weak while God is strong. When we pray, we acknowledge that God exists, and that life is not all about ourselves.

Now, you may ask, "Why doesn't the father just take the toy and pass it to her, even before she asks?". Well, I think the father already knows what the little girl wants from seeing the way she was reaching for the toy. If the father just took the toy down and passed it to the little girl, the little girl won't have the need to ask her father to take the toy down the shelves for her, and there won't be any connection. There won't be a relationship formed. You know in Luke 10:27 it read "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind". It's very clear here, God is telling us all to love Him! We get closer with our friends through experiences with them, and we get closer to God through experiences with Him, and prayer is a good way to have an experience with God as prayer is our direct form of communication with Him. If God just gives us what we want without us acknowledging that He did, then how will we rely on Him? How will a relationship with Him form? Prayer helps us to have a relationship with God. Therefore, I strongly believe that prayer is necessary.
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I''ve also asked this question, "If God knows that someone is going to do good on Earth, why can't He just send that person to heaven straight away instead of wasting time sending him to Earth? And on the other extreme, if God knows someone is going to do mean stuff on Earth, why can't He just send the person to hell straight away instead of letting that guy waste his time on Earth just to go to hell later on?"

Now I'm going to skip the explanations that everyone is evil and we are all doomed to go to hell in the first place, because that was what made me even more confused because God knows that in the future, some people will repent, so why not just send those whom He knows are going to repent up to heaven while sending the rest to hell?

I'm also going to skip the part where good people are needed to be on Earth to show others the way, because while this is true, it didn't answer my question because I thought that God should've put all those good people + others whom He knows will repent up in heaven first.

Again, we should look at our Bible. Notice that God does not say "You are to enter heaven and not enter hell". Nowhere. In fact, God does not really mention heaven or hell that much in the Bible. Look at the 10 commandments, did God ever ask us to enter heaven and avoid hell? Nope. Of course He wants us all to enter His kingdom, but more importantly He wants us to have a relationship with Him. I'm going to use Luke 10:27 as an example again "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind". Thus, this links back to why we pray, to love Him. Like the little girl struggling to get her toy, we struggle in the many challenges here on Earth. Through these challenges, we realise how weak we are and how strong God really is, and thus we begin to rely on Him more, forming a relationship with Him and the more we know Him the more we love Him. Thus, this is why God sends all of us to Earth, to love Him.
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I've also always wondered what God had always wanted me to do. So far in my life, I've been more or less convinced that God wants me to be a doctor, because that is my lifetime goal.

However, I've been experiencing setback after setback this year. I've failed tests and examinations at various points of my life in these 2 years in the IBDP. I've always wondered if that was God's way of telling me to give up, that this programme was not suitable for me. Well, it is true if perhaps God feels that doing well in the IBDP to become a doctor (since you have to do superbly well to enter medical school) is not the right path for me.

But then again, God put me in the IBDP. Of course I wanted it so badly, but if He knew that it would not have been the right path for me, He would've steered me away from it a long time ago. So I'm here, and there must be a purpose. And if God sees you wanting to do your utmost best to bring glory to His name, God would never say "Give up!". Nope, I've never heard God tell me to "give up". During my O level year, the thought of me qualifying for the IBDP was sort of crazy, but yet I wanted it and God did not tell me to give up.

Now here I am, in the IBDP. I guess, the reason why I'm here is that God wants me to put in my best to glorify His name. Then again, I can be wrong. However, God has told me "Do not doubt yourself Sean. All things are possible in Me".

Yup, maybe you might say that these are just random thoughts that come into my own head, but who knows, perhaps God intended for them to happen!
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Now I'll like to use an analogy to show you all how much God loves you.

Perhaps a hands-on activity will work best! Follow the steps.

1) Take out a small piece of paper. Any size will do, as long as it can fit a small drawing.
2) Draw a picture of the best impression of any human you can find. Yup, you could even look into the mirror to draw yourself. Mine looks something like this!

(Hey, my Art ain't that good so this is the best given what I have haha!)

Ok. Now look at it. Will you love that picture so much that you can die for it?

No. I couldn't. I just can't.

But God did. He created us in His own image. We could say He perhaps looked into a mirror and moulded us based on what He looked like (so be careful when you make fun of the way someone else looks, you could be guilty of insulting God Himself...I think a lot of us will be guilty of this, or at least I am!).

Imagine if the picture you drew suddenly came to life (Assuming you don't scream and freak out!). The picture then starts swearing at you, blaming you for everything and demanding everything from you. What would you do? You'd most likely swat it away and say "To hell with you!".

But God died for us. Can you imagine turning yourself into that picture, to live amongst them and to show them the way, only to be crucified by your creation?

I can't imagine myself doing that. I won't do that.

Even if I were an artist and made a painting that was truly my best effort, I still won't die for it.

That just shows how much God loves us. A patient God whose mercies are everlasting. He could easily rip us apart whenever we piss Him off, but no. He chose to die for us.

I can't comprehend that. That's why I can never fully understand God's love. What made me actually deserve His love? I don't know. But I definitely know that He loves me so much that He was willing to die for me to buy my freedom.

Do you know why God allows us to sin? Ever wondered why God allows us to continue doing things that hurt Him when He could easily strike us down there and then?

To answer this, I will use an analogy again. I'm pretty sure that many of us have someone we love (boyfriends/girlfriends anyone? Maybe also parents who love their children? I don't know, be creative!) so much. Lets assume that you want your loved one to avoid eating char kway teow because it is oily and will cause health problems, but you know he/she loves to eat char kway teow so much. Your loved one tells you that he/she wants to eat it, and maybe even to the extent of putting char kway teow above you in priority. Out of love, you'd allow him/her to eat char kway teow.

Of course in our lives we probably would want something more significant than just char kway teow (but have you noticed that by putting material goods before God, it's almost like, if not worse than putting char kway teow before your loved one?). If God sees you wanting something so badly, that you'll put it before Him, He'll give it to you.

Which is why you see many rich people who effectively have made money their god. God loves these people very much and because of that, He will grant them the desires of their heart. (But remember, "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God", because the rich man has made money his god.)

However, as mentioned earlier, if you want to glorify God, He will reward you (both spiritually and materialistically). Let's say your little picture does things to glorify you, and even though all that is important is a good relationship with you, you'd be so proud of it that you'd give it a reward (hmm, just try to imagine a picture having a reward!).

Of course, we mean more to God than a picture means to us. Therefore, God will not fail to reward you when you have done Him proud. By glorifying His name and doing all things for Him, and obeying Him out of love, that is what makes Him proud of you.

And remember, always thank Him for everything good that comes your way. (Speaking of which, Thanks Father for an awesome Bio Paper 2 today and for bringing me through my Prelims with a good momentum going!)
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Answers lead to more questions, and I'll like to know why God chose to become human and die for us when He could just magically buy our freedom. I think the answer has something to do with the chance of forming a relationship with Him being much higher if He died for us, rather than Him just magically taking them away. Any opinions?

Other than that, I must say that my relationship with God has been strengthened through these self reflections. It is true that in Christ we are equipped for "casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Now at the conclusion of my post, I hope that I have helped to bring my readers some further insight into who God really is. If there is anything anyone is unclear of, or anything anyone would like me to add, do not hesitate to inform me via my tagboard or msn or anyway you want and I'll clarify these points in future posts. I would also like to thank my friend Minyang for giving me those insights which I have put into this post. Finally, I would like to thank God for being such a wonderful and amazing God, bringing me through such a blessed life!

And I really wish I can be like the little girl who will say with all her heart, "Hey, look how Daddy got my toy for me! I have such an amazing Daddy!"

2009-09-18T12:27:00.000+08:00

My Dream Diary Continues

Ok I'm going to make a quick dream diary post before making another big blogpost.

I was dreaming of walking behind this girl. She was a girl I once sort of had a crush on. Yea it was in school. Let's call her Z.

So I was walking behind Z. I wanted to approach her...

Somehow I didn't dare...

STUPID LOR. I DONT EVEN DARE TO APPROACH A GIRL EVEN IN MY DREAMS...

But anyway...I saw my fren X. So I said "Hi" to X.

I told X "wah this girl is dam hot. Should I say hi"

X was like "You're dam hot and sexy! You should!"

Lol. Sarcastic? Maybe. Don't know. Just a dream.

Then X went to his class. He asked me to join him. I declined. Didn't think they like me anyway.

So I went to my class. Then someone (I dont know who) was saying something in Chinese about apologising and forgiving...

And then I woke up. WEIRD DREAM!!!

2009-09-17T23:30:00.003+08:00

Glorify Your Name

Lyrics:
Jesus Jesus
Holy One, God's precious Son
You gave

Jesus Jesus
On the cross You took my shame
Forever from my heart I'll say
I live to worship You, Lord
My King of glory
Brought me to life
Gave me wings to fly
You are holy
Heaven and earth declare Your praise
Both now and evermore
I glorify Your name

Jesus Jesus
On the cross You took my sin
Forever from my heart I'll sing

You are holy
Glorify Your name
Jesus Jesus Jesus
I glorify Your name
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Awesome song. Sums up what I (and hopefully many others) want to do.

Everything good I do, is to glorify Your name.

2009-09-17T09:47:00.002+08:00

"I've got no time for people kicking anybody or being violent on the pitch and he was wrong to run the length of the field," Redknapp said. "But it's very difficult when you're getting abuse through the game like he was. It's not celebrating a goal that cause riots, it's idiots who want to start riots. What did Adebayor do, really? If I had been standing there and we had been giving him grief all game, I would probably say: 'Fair play.' I'm not saying it's right, what Adebayor did, but what nutters want to cause riots? Why do people need to shout abuse? Why can't they just watch a game of football? There must be something wrong with you if you want to do that."

Interesting point to think about, is it Adebayor's fault for provoking the fans? Or is it the fans' fault for wanting to riot...

It's very easy to blame players, but let's look at it another way...

If Adebayor had run to the wrong end of the pitch to celebrate (like what he did in the Man City vs Arsenal game), and if the fans had been more civilized and not riot, do you think the FA would've made an issue about this? Guess not.

So in this case, it's the fans' fault.

Nonetheless, when Gary Neville did the same to my club Liverpool, he only received a fine as punishment...if Adebayor gets a ban for this, then perhaps FA is being biased.

Racist? Nah, that's quite a strong word now and still unproven...

Not that it matters anyway, he's already going to miss the Manchester derby, so Man United is most likely gonna win.

So I guess more banning will help Liverpool's cause :)

2009-09-16T01:13:00.004+08:00

I have 2 songs I like by Darlene Zscech. Yup, i really like Christian songs! Maybe I'll like to come up with my own album one day! But that'll have to wait :)

Irresistible

I behold your power and glory
Bring an offering, Come before You
Worship You Lord
In the beauty of Your holiness

Whenever I call You're there
Redeemer and friend
Cherished beyond all words
This love never ends
Morning by morning, Your mercy awakens my soul
I lift up my eyes to see
The wonders of heaven Opening over me
Your goodness abounds
You've taken my breath away, with Your irresistible love
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I will run to you

Your eyes is on the sparrow
And Your hand, it confoms me
From the ends of the earth
To he depths of my heart
Let You mercy and strength be seen
You call me to Your purpose
As angels understand
For Your glory
May you draw all men
As Your love and grace demands
An I will run to You
To Your words of truth
Not by might, not by power
But by the Spirit Of God
Yes, I will run the race
'Til I see Your Face
Oh, let me live in the glory of Your Grace
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Beautiful songs. So true.

And as the 2nd song says, "Not by might, not by power, but by the Spirit of God", I will go into my prelims and the upcoming IB exams with that in mind.

Not by might, not by power, but by the Spirit of God

2009-09-15T01:01:00.003+08:00

Here goes nothing...

but faith in God that my efforts put into this prelims and the forthcoming IB exams will pay off...

Prayer always helps. One day I am going to do a blogpost on prayer:)

(And I shall attempt to explore the question on why we should pray even if God already has the future planned out for us)

2009-09-13T13:59:00.004+08:00

Yossi Benayoun was amazing! Hat trick!!!

The way Benayoun and kuyt kept switching positions around was pretty well done. By playing behind Gerrard and Torres, Benayoun could make use of the extra space in front of him (due to super heavily blatent man marking of Gerrard and Torres) and bang in the goals. Why didn't Liverpool do this earlier? Nonetheless, better late than never and I believe my club will take the title race down to the wire!

Hmm regarding Chelsea, they were super lucky, but statistically they remain premier league's top team for now...THEY MUST BE STOPPED!!!

Regarding Manchester City and Arsenal, well I guess it's justice done in favour of Greedybayor (what the Arsenal fans call him). No doubt I wanted to see a draw between both teams, but given the abuse that Adebayor got even when he was still in Arsenal, I think it's about time for justice to be done. No fan should ever boo their own player (afterall, the player probably knows more about football than them), Lucas Leiva doesn't even get booed that much by Liverpool fans. Maybe in the heat of the game itself yea but after the game we Liverpuldians can still say "Lucas we love you!". Even Wenger had told the Arsenal fans not to abuse Adebayor, and given the club's financial state, Adebayor had to go...

Anyway, it would've been fun to see Tevez and Arshavin playing,

Nonetheless, I can't wait for the Aquilani to get fit. Liverpool is set to become THE team to watch!

2009-09-12T19:23:00.005+08:00

Servant Leadership

"Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave"
- Matthew 20:26-27

I was reading the Daily Bread today about "Lateral Violence". I did not get the verse at first, until I realised it was about servant leadership when I read the bottom of the page where it mentioned"Only the one who serves is qualified to lead".

Many of us have seen people in high up leadership positions abuse their power and exert their authority over others. Matthew 20:25 sums it all up (I shall use the New Living Translation) "But Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them.".

Now I shall mention the rest of the verses until verse 28.
²⁶ But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, ²⁷ and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. ²⁸ For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

And then it becomes clear. Jesus is the prime example of a leader that we should all follow. In His life, He served everyone a lot, from washing his disciples' feet to dying on the cross.

And to be honest, if I were Jesus, and I look down upon the vile earth who have taken Him for granted, I'll probably say "to hell with you all" (and maybe mean it literally).

But Jesus didn't do that at all. In fact He didn't have to come down to serve us! We didn't even deserve a single bit of His mercy. However, I can definitely say that His great love for us was what made Him come down to serve us...

So to lead is to serve, and when we serve, we do it out of love. Just like our Father did for us.

And now I leave you all with a song (images may be a bit graphic. I think they're from Passion of the Christ):

Lyrics:
How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocing voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that helf Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I knoww that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
(REPEAT)
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A really beautiful song. Totally sums up the depth of God's love for us. This is what we should base our servant leadership upon - Serving altruistically.

2009-09-11T12:24:00.001+08:00

Colourgenics @ http://www.goldinuniverse.com/

Name: Sean Lee Junn Kit
Date: 9/11/2009
Colorgenics Number: 31250467

You are striving for a life full of activity and experience and, perhaps even more, an environment where you would be able to forge a close bond with a person who can offer full emotional fulfilment.

You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image. You need for those people in positions that matter to recognise your potential and to acknowledge you.

Although you are, deep down, a very caring person, you are very particular in the choice of friends and indeed very demanding at times. You can be most quarrelsome and controversial and it is because of this argumentative trait you can at times explode into open conflict - conflict with even those you may care for and love. It is because of this inherent argumentative streak in you that may have resulted in broken hopes and dreams.

Presently, you are experiencing stress because of restriction on your independence. You need and seek respect from other people and it is essential that they appreciate you for yourself and not for what they would like you to be. You have your own beliefs and convictions and you would like to be respected for them. You are anxious to avail yourself of every opportunity that may come your way but nevertheless, come what may, you have the need to control your own destiny without imposed limitations or restrictions.

You don't like authority and you rebel against all forms of limitation. You are your own person and you intend to stay that way and to get on in the world simply by your hard work and determination.

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Try it, it's frighteningly accurate

2009-09-10T19:09:00.004+08:00

Comfort in Suffering

This post comes a bit late. God spoke to me to post this on my blog earlier, but I delayed till now. Of course I have no excuse, that I must admit. But anyway as I always say, better late than never.

While reading the Daily Bread on Tuesday, September 8 2009, I saw this article titled "Comforted to Comfort". For those who do not have the Daily Bread, I will post the article here.

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Comforted To Comfort
READ: 2 Corinthians 1:3-11

[God] comforts us . . . that we may be able to comfort [others] with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. —2 Corinthians 1:4

While speaking to a group of Christian athletes, I asked them how they normally responded to hardships. Their responses included fear, anger, self-pity, aggression, despair, abusive behavior, apathy, and turning to God. I encouraged them to trust that God would comfort them and then use them to comfort others.

Just as I encouraged those athletes, Paul encouraged a group of believers in a town called Corinth. He reminded them that afflictions were inevitable for the follower of Jesus. Many were being persecuted, imprisoned, and oppressed—all because of their relationship with Jesus. Paul wanted the Corinthians to know that in the midst of their trouble God was their source of help. He would come to their side and help them to have godly responses. Then Paul gave one of the reasons God allowed suffering and brought divine comfort—so that the Corinthians might have the empathy to enter into other people’s sorrow and comfort them (2 Cor. 1:4).

When we suffer, let us remember that God will bring comfort to us through His Word, by the Holy Spirit, and through fellow believers. God does not comfort us so that we’ll be comfortable; we are comforted by God so that we might be comforters. — Marvin Williams

When you receive God’s comfort,
Be sure to pass it on,
Then give to God the glory
From whom the comfort’s drawn. —Hess

When God permits trials, He also provides comfort.

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Anyway, it is true that when we undergo suffering, the purpose of it is to experience it first hand so we can better relate to others who undergo the same plight. This is really applicable to me this year, where I suffered a lot, and I think in some cases it was unjustified suffering. Nonetheless, I was able to see the unfairness of life first hand, and thus I can empathize with others better. Perhaps this is why empathy is one of my strongest traits, but it is God given, and probably I would not have been able to be a source of comfort to others without God first being a source of comfort to me.

And besides, guess who suffered the pain of being human, all the limitations and the harsh reality of life?

The answer is of course staring at us right in the face (maybe even literally), and yet we do not realise. God came down to earth in human form as Jesus Christ. You all probably know what happened where He suffered unjustly. Remember, He commited NO SIN.

And yes, I guess we have no reason to say that God does not understand our plight, He has been through many times worse. He undergone so much stress till the blood came out with His sweat, He got whipped by the cat with nine tails, He undergone so much humiliation while His best friend denied Him thrice. He wore a crown of thorns which pierced His skull into the pain sensors at the cerebral hemiispheres. He bore the cross full of splinters up a long long mountain slope on His already wounded and bloody back. He struggled for breath on the cross just so we can breathe freely.

All this He did for us to live and enter heaven...while all of us remain ungrateful and continue neglecting Him.

To think I had the cheek to call myself a second priority to others, when I have not even placed God as my second priority. I am really a wicked sinner...Time to make a change in my life. And others should follow suit too.

Anyway, I guess now it's quite a good thing that I've had so many horrible experiences. Yes, even to be treated as a second priority, I know how others are going through.

And I am really comforted to know that God had been (and still is) going through being neglected by those He cares about, and that since Jesus had gone through the painful experience of being neglected on earth and still managed to pull through...

then it is possible for us. All we have to do is make God the number one source of happiness.

Gee, I must admit I've been going on and on about everything rather than focusing on just one thing. But hey, that's the beauty of God's love, He focuses on everything...all aspects of life and creation.

To care about you while keeping the galaxies in their place...it says a lot about our God.

Objectively speaking, He is good!

2009-09-07T13:46:00.003+08:00

And now my dream diary continues.

It was a long ride past mountains and lush greenery to a hotel. There was a waterfall too, a huge massive body of water that makes the earth tremble as it constantly keeps pounding the ground. It looked like an overseas hotel because I have never seen a hotel like that in Singapore. I mean like...Mountains, greenery, waterfall, etc...Can't be from Singapore...

The ride up was surreal and dreamy (literally right? LOL). You only see something like that in movies, and perhaps even travel shows. Whatever it is, it felt so good.

And I thought "Hey...why am I here?"

So I went to the hotel. Checked in and got some rest in my room. I got a message from my best friend Z (im sick of the letters X and Y) saying that the rest will be here soon. Now why on earth will I go overseas with my Z to such an expsnsive place (looks expensive!). And why did he say "The rest"?

So yea I was there, and Z came. He went to my room to unload his stuff and had a nice chat with me...

and before I knew it, the scene shifted

He and I were getting ready to play DOTA with each other. It was a warm up match. I was going to 1v1 him. Furthermore, everyone (A HUGE CROWD! AS IF WE WERE CELEBRITIES) came to watch us. So I guess it was a warm up match (since it's 1v1).

So it became apparent that this is a DOTA team...

Z and I are probably one of the best DOTA players in the world then! Wow!

Quite an awesome dream...then I woke up...

Funnyy, we were just talking about setting up a bboy crew (Z is out of his mind, but it sure sounds fuN!) and a DOTA team!

Alright. dreams are pretty vague, yea I hope I can juggle all my dreamed up success with being a doctor! Woohoo! That'll be awesome!

2009-09-06T22:13:00.003+08:00

When I went out today, I stumbled along this quote:
"The will of the Lord will never lead you where grace cannot keep you."

I looked at it, and I wondered which part of the Bible it came from, because I don't recall seeing it in the Bible (well to be honest, my Bible knowledge is sadly still lacking).

Somehow, I got drawn to that phrase.

And just now, while studying. I felt like giving up. Like somehow fate was against me. Then I remembered that phrase again. And so I persevered and continued studying...

I wondered why that phrase was so powerful. I didn't really know what the exact definition of God's grace was so I googled it. So here comes wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God%27s_grace

I really can't describe it in words, because it cannot be done that way. It has to be experienced. Google definitions states it as "In Christianity, grace is "unmerited favour" from God (the idea drawn from Ephesians 2:8-9). "

Anyway, I decided to google the phrase to find out where exactly it came from and here's what I found from answers at yahoo answers. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090123150527AA9nD9b

Some people have said that it was adapted from 1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has taken YOU except what is common to men. But God is faithful, and he will not let YOU be tempted beyond what YOU can bear, but along with the temptation he will also make the way out in order for YOU to be able to endure it.

And some have said Jeremiah 29:11 comes close..."God says, 'I know the plans I have for you, plans, not to harm you but plans, to give you a future and a hope.'"

And then I found out it comes from a poem titled "The Will of God"

The will of God will never take you,
Where the grace of God cannot keep you,
Where the arms of God cannot support you,
Where the riches of God cannot supply your needs,
Where the power of God cannot endow you.

The will of God will never take you,
Where the Spirit of God cannot work through you,
Where the wisdom of God cannot teach you,
Where the army of God cannot protect you,
Where the hands of God cannot mold you.

The will of God will never take you,
Where the love of God cannot enfold you,
Where the mercies of God cannot sustain you,
Where the peace of God cannot calm your fears,
Where the authority of God cannot overrule for you.

The will of God will never take you,
Where the comfort of God cannot dry your tears,
Where the Word of God cannot feed you,
Where the miracles of God cannot be done for you,
Where the omnipresence of God cannot find you.

"Everything happens for a purpose.
We may not see the wisdom of it all now
but trust and believe in the Lord
that everything is for the best."
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And then came the best answer (IN MY OPINION) to where that phrase came from. As I scrolled down a little further, I saw someone who said "Right where God has put it from the very beginning...in my heart and soul." And for the sources he put "My source is from the Lord"

And yes, I realised that God had definitely put it in our hearts that His will for us is perfect. Even when fate seems so hard on us, remember that God controls fate.

And now I commit everything I do to You, Lord, and I pray that my plans will succeed. But nonetheless not my will, but Yours be done.

2009-09-06T15:54:00.002+08:00

Now what's the point?

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FIA calls Renault to face cheating charges

The FIA today confirmed that Renault has been requested to appear before an extraordinary meeting of the FIA World Motor Sport Council on Monday 21st September.

In a statement issued this afternoon by the sport’s governing body, the team has been called to answer charges, including a breach of Article 151c of the International Sporting Code. That particular rule regards bringing the sport into disrepute via “any fraudulent conduct or any act prejudicial to the interests of any competition or to the interests of motorsport generally.”

“The team conspired with its driver, Nelson Piquet Jr, to cause a deliberate crash at the 2008 Singapore Grand Prix with the aim of causing the deployment of the safety car to the advantage of its other driver, Fernando Alonso,” reads the statement.

http://en.f1-live.com/f1/en/headlines/news/detail/090904184025.shtml
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The FIA can go on a witchhunt to find Renault guilty of this cheating case. They can punish Renault all they like by getting them to leave the sport (which is actually doing themselves a great disservice)...

But what's the point? As much as I'd like to see Renault being punished if they're guilty...what can the rest stand to gain? Cheating will still go on in F1...

And Massa already lost his world championship thanks to that incident. So yea. It won't change the result even if Renault has been found guilty and punished.

Just my two cents worth.

2009-09-05T22:58:00.001+08:00

I realised again today, it's very hard to say goodbye.

Nuff said.

2009-09-05T02:52:00.008+08:00

Reach

I don't usually like songs from bands like S-Club 7 (do I call them Bubblegum pop?), but I like the song "Reach".

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Reach by S-Club 7

When the world leaves you feeling blue
You can count on me I will be there for you
When it seems all you hopes and dreams
Are a million miles away I will reassure you

Weve got to all stick together
Good friends there for each other
Never ever forget that
Ive got you and youve got me so

So reach for the stars
Climb every mountain higher
Reach for the stars
Follow your hearts desire
Reach for the stars
And when that rainbows shining over you
Thats when your dreams will all come true

Theres a place waiting just for you
Its a special place where your dreams all come true
Fly away swim the ocean blue
Drive that open road leave the past behind you
Dont stop gotta keep moving
Your hopes have gotta keep building
Never ever forget that
Ive got you and youve got me so

So reach for the stars
Climb every mountain higher
Reach for the stars
Follow your hearts desire
Reach for the stars
And when that rainbows shining over you
Thats when your dreams will all come true

Dont believe in all that youve been told
The skys the limit you can reach your goal
No one knows just what the future holds
There aint nothing you cant be
Theres a whole world at your feet

I said reach
Climb every mountain
Reach
Reach for the moon
Reach
Follow that rainbow
And your dreams will all come true

So reach for the stars
Climb every mountain higher
Reach for the stars
Follow your hearts desire
Reach for the stars
And when that rainbows shining over you
Thats when your dreams will all come true
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The song is quite self explatory. I'm not going to insult your intelligence by explaining what the lyrics mean haha:D

Amazing lyrics especially during such a tough period like now. The song has quite a happy tune. Hey maybe I'm rather biased in my dislike towards "bubblegum pop", I guess theres a time for everything. Yea and anyway I'm so glad I've got great friends as mentioned in the song. More importantly, I hope I can be that special friend to whoever in adversity.

Finally, I'm so glad that I've got the best friend of all who'll never leave me nor forsake me no matter what the circumstances are: the Lord Jesus Christ, my God and Saviour Almighty. He can be your best friend too.

Trust me, He is so good!

2009-09-04T11:33:00.007+08:00

Making Closure

And now during this holiday that the school has granted to us, I can finally pen my thoughts down freely...

Now some of you might be expecting me to express this in the form of a poem, but I think writing a poem sometimes hides too much, and are open to too many interpretations, so I guess I should write this in prose form. Even though I haven't passed the last days of the school calendar yet, yesterday was more or less the last day of school for us. After that it's exams ahoy!

These 6 years have been a roller coaster ride for me, and as sometimes in our school life we can feel a part and yet apart. Sometimes we may feel wanted, and sometimes we may feel that our friends around us don't show enough respect. Nonetheless, eventually we will realise that everyone here wants the best of each other. In school, everyone is usually supportive of each other. I once told someone that no matter how hell these years have been, life out there is much worse.

You see, in school, when we make mistakes, sometimes it results in us failing the examination. No matter, just study hard and do better the next time, and then silence all critics. In working life, there is no second chance. One mistake, and you're fired. As a doctor, one mistake can mean a difference between life and death (also referring to the life of your career as a doctor LOL). It's a horrible world out there. I have met many people who have said "It's alright, I just have to last through these few years in school...", and I can't help but laugh silently to myself. No matter how bad the few years in school are, working life is much much much worse. In school, at least you have friends who support you. In work, there are no such things as friends. Well, a friend of mine told me "There'll always be friends everywhere". Well, you can't tell if your closest companion in work is your best friend or your worst enemy. Because you see, in school, everyone is interested in learning, supporting each other, helping each other, etc. In work, everyone wants to earn money money money, and who can blame them for trying to make a living? Look at the soccer stars, see how hectic the transfer market has been. That's already concrete proof of my point about people being interested in money. You'd think that teammates will stick with each other through thick and thin, but in the end they are all working men and want to earn the most out of their career.

Yesterday I was fortunate enough to have a farewell dinner organized for the graduating batch of ventures. To be honest, it did serve as a reminder of how short a time I have left as a school boy...

How ironic, all of us want to pon school whenever the opportunity arises. All of us want our holidays given to us. But when the time for school draws to a close, we start to wish that we have spent more time with each other...

Having been an ACSian for 12 years, I am sure going to find it difficult to get along with others out there. Not that I'm criticising them in any way, but I think others in my shoes will feel the same way too. During the NS checkup, the people around me seemed to be on a totally different wavelength from me. I didn't like the atmosphere out there. Oh well at least I was fortunate to have friends around me at that time. You know, forming a DOTA team was already quite tough for me. Look! A DOTA TEAM!!! How simple right!? Just say "HEY LOOK HERES THE STRATEGY, DO THIS!"... Nope, again I'm not criticising anyone, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses...but it would be different having ACS teammates. You see, with ACS teammates, they'll be willing to help each other, and sometimes even if they disagree with your view, it's usually to augment it rather than to throw it down. With teammates not from ACS, everyone has their own egos, because they're more or less best in the school they come from, and so everyone wants to be right and have things done their own way. I guess that served to give me a glimpse of how working life is going to be.

I guess it was the same with McLaren Mercedes in 2007 where they hired both Alonso and Hamilton who have their own separate egos and were at conflict with each other...So there was a major case of team rivalry and then bye bye to both WDC and WCC which McLaren was looking strong to get. I rather it be like Ferrari, 2 teammates (Kimi and Felipe) who are willing to work with each other, and despite them always taking points off each other (they have taken as much points off each other in 2007 as Hamilton and Alonso), they remained teammates and practiced team spirit no matter what...and thus they won both the WDC and WCC (even if McLaren was included in the 2007 WCC, Ferrari still win it by 1 point too)

Oh hey look I was just proving myself wrong about working life being hell...but that's Ferrari, the best F1 team in the world. Maybe I might want to work as a doctor there someday, but that'll have to wait...till I get into Medical school (also till I can speak fluent Italian LOL)

I know my life as a schoolboy is coming to an end, but my gut feeling tells me it's not over yet...that something grand is still waiting to happen...

And my gut feeling also tells me that working life is going to be great...

But those are just gut feelings, which are very inconsistent don't you think so?

So all I have to do is trust in God, for He'll never leave me nor forsake me.

And lemme try to write something in Italian (LOL FROM THE ITALIAN NATIONAL ANTHEM LYRICS)

Rivelano ai popoli le vie del Signore. Uniti, per Dio, chi vincer ci può?

2009-09-02T01:54:00.002+08:00

I can't sleep easy...

knowing that the chapter of my life as a schoolboy is drawing to a close...

actually, i suddenly feel rather tired. Imma sleep soon.

Will update further some other time...

2009-09-01T10:58:00.002+08:00

Reconciliation

I know I've been posting a lot about the dreams I have every night, but they are getting weirder by the day.

I was walking along the corridors of my Pri 1/2 classroom. I assume that I probably time travelled back to my Pri 2 period (yes...becos the school has shifted already). I looked in. (I didn't recall what I saw, probably myself in Pri 2?)

And then I saw my fren. Lets call him X. X was sort of my best fren when I was in sec3, but I'll probably ignore him if I bump into him in school or at most say "Hi".

So I saw X. I said "Hi!"

Then he saw me and said "Hi"

And there was an awkward silence. X and I stared at each other for quite a while.

Then we gave each other a hug.

And I said "dont get me wrong, I know we can't be best friends like before...but I've been so bored to death nowadays..."

Yea...then I woke up...Lolz...

2009-08-31T18:14:00.002+08:00

I had a dream. For prelims, I've got 7 for bio, 7 for econs, 3 for chem, 5 for english, and as for Math...I can't see anything (yes, the mark was faded). It is really scary, because it is so real that I've been focusing a little bit too much on bio and econs. I think it's about time to shift to the other subjects.

Yup. Time to make some readjustments here and there.

2009-08-30T22:22:00.002+08:00

"The old saying claims that race cannot be won on the first lap but it can certainly be lost. For Kimi Raikkonen that rule does not apply, while for four drivers in the midfield the adage is completely appropriate.

Kimi Raikkonen started the 44-lap Belgian Grand Prix from sixth position on the grid and used his KERS advantage to perfection to vault second on the run up to Les Combes on the first lap behind pole sitter Giancarlo Fisichella. Behind Romain Grosjean triggered a four car accident at the same turn bringing out the safety car.

Leaning heavily on KERS once again at the restart, the 2007 world champion blasted by Fisichella to take the lead and despite the best efforts of the Force India driver, Raikkonen was able to maintain a slender advantage all the way to the chequered flag and record his fourth victory at the Spa Francorchamps circuit."

Source: http://en.f1-live.com/f1/en/headlines/news/detail/090830155458.shtml

I must say that I've been very very very very...delighted to see Kimi Raikkonen take the Spa win. I almost cried tears of joy (I've been doing that a lot this year)...people who were making fun of Ferrari all this while are beginning to eat their own words as Kimi won in a car not upgraded.

I remember once saying that Kimi is a joke and is a waste of space at the Scuderia. Never have I been happier to be proven wrong. The way Kimi used KERS at the start was superb.

Furthermore, he went around the outside to overtake everyone using KERS.

I guess that in life, all of us need our own form of KERS to vault ourselves ahead.

And sometimes, we cannot go the common way. While everyone uses the straight path, sometimes we must take an alternate path, like what Kimi did by going around the outside.

Haha, whatever it is, I am overjoyed...

Forza Ferrari!

Get well soon Felipe!

2009-08-30T03:01:00.003+08:00

Really funny the way that people laugh at Liverpool...

And then their own clubs do the same thing!

Man Utd lost to Burnley (a newly promoted club)...

Arsenal lost through an own goal header and a penalty.

What goes around comes back around.

On a much happier note...I think Steven Gerrard is back in business! Glen Johnson is awesome too...Liverpool's player of the season so far!

2009-08-30T00:13:00.001+08:00

At the end of the storm...

Is a golden sky!

2009-08-29T13:33:00.002+08:00

Reaching the Stars

The Alpha Centauri star system is 4.5 light years away. (Actually, it is 4.37 light years away, according to Wikipedia, who have got their sources somewhere, but heck).

To reach the closest star system...is 4.5 light years away...

And getting the maximum IB score...is 45 points away...(actually 38, since I've already got a 7 for Chinese, but heck!)

Now now, with the grace of God, I'll do my utmost best to achieve that score to bring glory to His name.

With or without a study partner, I'll still press on...

Though perhaps, to be honest, sometimes it's better to have a study partner...

But I guess I'll wait patiently for someone to ask...

2009-08-29T08:50:00.003+08:00

Death

I had a brush with death again.

No, not death of myself, but rather death of a loved one. I know it might not be wise of me to talk about this taboo topic now, especially since I have to rush off to mug later on at 9.30, but I think I should pen it down here.

You see, I received an sms from someone. The message was "X (let's name my loved one that) has been involved in a stabbing incident. I'm afraid he has passed out"

And then I was so sad, I wished maybe X had been around longer, perhaps maybe to nag at me more. I have no idea.

I was so sad, in a dark house, on my sofa, crying my heart out...

and then I woke up.

As I always say, it was just a dream.

But perhaps, I'm quite sick of being in such dreams where my loved ones die and I'm helpless to do anything. If that were to become reality, well...

I hope my dreams don't become reality...

Well except of course the one about me getting 45 points and going up on stage to give all thanks to God (Actually that's more of myself day dreaming...not those real kind of dreams...but anyway I'm sure it is possible to come true)

I don't know, perhaps people might start calling me crazy by fretting too much over these dreams...but God has always been imparting messages to characters in the Bible through dreams, like to Joseph.

Maybe, this is God's way of telling me that His will is perfect...

Maybe, but I won't know. I guess I'll pray over it later on.

2009-08-28T21:40:00.002+08:00

Desert Rain

It was a very sandy desert. Too sandy. Everywhere I went was sand. The sand getting into my eyes, making them sore and teary. The sand getting into my mouth, and I choked each time I took a breath of air. The sand getting into my shoes, poking at my feet with every step forward.

Somehow I wasn't alone. I was surrounded by people. The group consisted of about less than 10 people...I barely recognised their faces in the sandstorm. Why was I on this random trip? Why was I surrounded by unfamiliar faces? Questions, but no answers...and I continued walking. At this time, I became more aware that I was on some sort of trek through the desert.

The group decided to camp for the time being. I don't know why, but I wanted to carry on. I told the group that I was leaving them. No response. Probably they could not hear me. So I continued walking and walking. No one was near...I felt lethargic and fatigued. I wanted to faint any moment.

To make matters worse, thunder and rain came. It started storming. Desert rain? I've never heard of such a thing before. Wet sand hitting me everywhere I go. I could not walk on further. It was tough. I was about to pass out any time soon...

And then there was a familiar sight. A friend of mine who was from that group somehow appeared (don't ask me who I knew he was from the group, I just knew), and came to support me as we decided to continue trekking through the desert. The thing is, I never even half expected that person to come and help me. But he did. Wait let's him a name. Ok let's call him X

And then he did, and soon we reached a bus stop.

What? A bus stop?!

Yes. A bus stop. It looked like one of those bus stops along MacRitchie reservoir. And guess what? I saw 2 people at the bus stop. One of them was my really good friend. But strangely, he didnt notice me. Hmmm, so lets call this guy Y.

So I boarded the bus with X. Y and his fren came along. Strangely, Y didn't even talk to me at all. Totally ignored. Weird.

And then I was getting tired, I leant on X's shoulder and fell asleep...

And then I woke up on my bed. It was just a dream. A strange dream indeed.

2009-08-26T18:18:00.003+08:00

Passion

I have observed that do many things out of passion. I must say that I realised it is both a blessing and a curse. Well you see, while I have done many great things out of passion, I also have done many bad things due to the same reason. We have already seen a lot of sportsmen achieve great feats due to their passion for the sport, but also done sinful actions due to the same passion they have for the sport. In my personal life, I have quite a number of close friends, and when they're in need of help, I'll go all out to help them, due to my passion. However, sometimes the very same reason leads me to do wrong, due to my passion always encouraging me never to say no, even though clearly I know it is wrong.

Since passion has been seen as a tool for both good as well ass evil, what should we do? Should we throw it away altogether? No...I don't think so...

You see, Jesus says in John 4:24 "God is a Spirit and they that worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth".

To worship Him in spirit, is the passion I was talking about. At the same time, we need to be fully aware of what we sing, pray, give and preach, and that is why we also have to worship in truth.

Oh and who is the one who is most passionate of us all?

The answer is none other than God Himself. He sent His only Son to die for us, because He has so much passion for us. Even though we don't deserve His forgiveness, and even though I still don't know what I did to deserve someone like Jesus to die for me, I know for certain that God's love is real.

How about this? Many have missed this one important aspect of God's love. God loves us so much that He is willing to let us choose to not believe Him if we do not want to. He does not force us to believe in Him, even though He knows His will is perfect for all of us. How many of us daresay we love someone so much that we will let him/her do whatever they want, even though it brings us no benefit? Yea. That's how much God loves us, and not to forget that He died for us even though we reject Him time after time.

2009-08-25T20:55:00.002+08:00

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed" - Proverbs 16:3

Totally beautiful verse. To commit everything to God, and put Him first. From experience, I daresay that nothing without God's blessing will bear fruit. It might enjoy success temporarily but will be headed for a deep plunge. I had a study plan put into place, and to be honest my studying was quite CMI because I put myself before God.

So yes, I'm going to start my studying, and all my other plans, with a prayer over this verse. God had promised this in the Bible. It's quite amazing that God provides all these earthly things (which are worthless in reality) to us. This shows the extent of His love. Well, I am going to make my life a living testament for God, start living each day right for Him from now onwards. I want others to know what it's like to have a God who provides. I want to win more souls for Christ. I want others to say "Hey look at that guy! He's a Christian right? Let's be like him too!".

High hopes.

But lets start from scratch.

I'll live my life right from today onwards, for the Lord.

2009-08-24T23:24:00.001+08:00

Unrequited

So how do I know if you’re real? If you’re false?
So who are you now? Are you friend? Are you foe?
So where are you now? When I’m down and I’m out
So why do you stay? When you’re so far away

Say what am I now? Am I in? Am I out?
Tell me what I did wrong. Can I change? Must I cut?
Now you say, “you don’t say” But if you don’t say. What can I do?
Oh please, just trim the bush. And put it straight, what’s there to lose?

[Chorus]:
So tell, just tell me now.
Why’s it so hard? Why? It’s just you.
Come on. Where is your heart?
Mine’s over here. Will you care to see?

Why must I wait for my time just to come?
Why? Why not now? Is it something I lack?
Why do you see me as some lesser breed
Something not worth your pure eyes to behold

[Chorus]

Just stop and think back.
I don’t care what you say.
You’re not worth my spare time.
Come on, that’s what you said.

[Chorus] x2

[Refrain]
Can you hang up now? Can you hang up now?
Can you hang up can you hang up can you hang up now?

(Oh how fitting that my 300th post is also the first time I've put a song written by myself on the blog!)

2009-08-12T21:20:00.003+08:00

I saw a blog post from my friend, and I can't help but feel like I'm guilty of the same thing. Sure I have been pangsehed every now and then, but maybe I'm guilty of doing the same thing to others. So here's my poem:

Thank You! Bye bye!

Their faces brim with pity and sorrow
I offered them my all, my very best.
Indirectly they rule my happiness
Their actions spoke it all - “Thank you! Bye bye!”
Emotion of frustration, input not
proportional to total revenue
and as the inevitable occurs
Rebound always they will. And the same fate –
Their faces brim with pity and sorrow.
Emotion of inferiority
I, who did my best, am not good enough
for them to be like stars in the dark night

Guilty lightning struck me. I shall not want.
My faces brim with pity and sorrow.
He offered me His all, His very Best.
Raw flesh peeled like a hot knife through butter
Royal pain through cranium. Cerebellum
House of throns in head. A pain worse than death
a King bore a pile of splinters on his
back of bones. Sharp iron between ulna
and Radius. Just the appetiser.
Eons of dejection while bearing our
darkness. Living death. For all our heads.
conquering Death, ensuring it dies good.

My actions spoke it all – “Thanks for your death –
I know you've tasted the cat with nine tails,
spinal cord as visible as the Sun,
your sense receptors tampered with like toys
your life balanced on iron while I
breathe the free air, the ones you've given me
and your buddy of unknown years has just
left you for me, let you die so I live -
But I don’t need you anymore. Bye bye!”
Emotion of frustration, input not
proportional to total revenue
and as the inevitable occurs
Rebound always I will. And the same fate –
My faces brim with pity and sorrow.
The heart wrenching pain I felt was peanuts
to His suffering. Alike, yet nothing.

Never take for granted this Love story
Live It. Return It. Spread It far and wide
As the Sun sets - I have to reach to Him
I know – I just need to reach out to Him

2009-08-08T20:16:00.003+08:00

Everyone is composing poetry. It's only a matter of time before I follow suit. So I did. Perhaps I have also been influenced by the writers of my IOC poems - Robert Frost, Wilfred Owen, Wole Soyinka.

This poem is entitled "Don't Skip!". I wrote it while on a visit to my friend's house this morning. I saw a father holding hands with his daughter, and his daughter was skipping. I suppose the girl was only about 8 or so.

Since the daughter was skipping, of course the father will tell her not to skip so he can keep up with her. Then the daughter continued skipping off and the father pulled a trick on her and hid behind a pillar, as she continued skipping off into the distance.

I didn't get to see what happened next, I needed to be at my friend's place on time. But anyway, it really got me thinking. There are various ways to interpret this poem. Have fun at it.

So I present to you my poem:

Don’t Skip!

“I want to skip!” – she said with a huge Smile
on her Face. Daddy said “No you Don’t Skip!”
Falling on deaf ears as she continued
To Skip. Daddy went behind a pillar
only for her to continue Skipping

I ascended with a pressing of buttons
I stood there wondering why people have
Skipped. On me. I stood there waiting – Thinking
What the future holds – Whether this girl was
One of them. She definitely can’t be –

One of us. I too have seen an Ego
Maniac. Defeated Chicken. Pecks at
the Hand that feeds it. Board of destruction.
abandons the Freedom for Life it craved
Seemingly. Or is It just a lost cause

T’was the day before the Silent Night came
Me and flock of chicks that were same in mind
Came together to protect the old men
being Left in a Wake – I scarcely thought of
how Cruel the birds of prey swooped at me

I have friends – Those who cared and those who have
Skipped. On me. I stood there waiting – Thinking
Whether my Hand has been the one to mould
My Future. Is wild and I dare not ask
who was One of them or One of Us now

I pressed the button. The door welcomed on
Me. I wonder if the heartless piece of
Scrap was a better comrade than one who
practiced irregular consistency
and Skipped as the Moon shone bright in the sky

“I want to skip!” – she said with a huge Smile
And then there was an eclipse but the Moon
Shone bright. Never let me walk alone so
I ask “Will you skip on me?” and now as
Time passes and Skips. Will YOU Skip on Me?

2009-08-05T17:42:00.003+08:00

IOC

Thank you Jesus.

I feel librated.

Lucky? I guess it's God's good grace that got me my preferred extract.

I guess hard work pays off. I gave up on getting good grades for my mid years in order to focus on my IOC.

Though it has caused me to fret a bit over my mid year results, I'm quite happy that my sacrifice has more or less paid off.

:D

Thank you Jesus.

2009-08-02T21:14:00.002+08:00

295th Post

And how was I to know that selecting the clothes that go on my back tomorrow will be so darn difficult?

2009-07-30T05:42:00.002+08:00

SORRY FOR THE TRIPLE POST! THIS IS SO EXCITING!

http://en.f1-live.com/f1/en/headlines/news/detail/090729190859.shtml

SCHUMACHER IS IN FOR MASSA!

"Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro intends to put Michael Schumacher in Felipe Massa's car until the Brazilian driver will be able to race again," the team stated.

"Michael Schumacher said he is ready and over the next few days will undertake a specific training programme at the end of which confirmation will be given of his participation in the championship with effect from the European Grand Prix on the 23rd of August."

WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

I GET TO SEE MY HERO RACE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But get well soon Felipe! I'm gonna miss you :'(

2009-07-30T05:37:00.002+08:00

Dreams of grandeur

Champagne spraying on the podium

Then being hit hard on the head

The end of a dream?

Gaaahh...I'm thinking too much about F1...

Get well soon Felipe.

Sorry for the double post. Excited.

2009-07-30T04:27:00.002+08:00

To Anfieldd and Back

I feel tired...as if i were jet lagged...when you go through a Tuesday thinking it was still a Monday...you knwo something is wrong...

Nonetheless, it sure sucks to have a dream where you wait at an MRT station which is without an MRT track or an MRT itself...

WLIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-07-29T00:17:00.002+08:00

I never cry much.

Yet this year, I have done so a lot.

I never knew I would cry over an sms.

Yet, your message moved me to tears.

You know who you are, thanks for all these years of friendship. Thanks for all the times you've been with me through thick and thin. Thanks for even all those seemingly pointless msn conversations.

I have enjoyed every moment spent with you.

I'm truly honoured to have such a good friend like you.

I dedicate my 291st post to you:)

Happy Birthday:)

2009-07-27T01:14:00.002+08:00

Hosana

Praise is rising, eyes are turning to You, we turn to You
Hope is stirring, hearts are yearning for You, we long for You
'Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your Pres- ence all our fears are washed away, washed away

CHORUS
Ho- san- na, ho- sanna
You are the God Who saves us, worthy of all our praises
Ho- san- na, ho- sanna
Come have Your way among us
We welcome You here, Lord Jesus

Hear the sound of hearts returning to You, we turn to You
In Your Kingdom broken lives are made new, You make us new
'Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your Pres- ence all our fears are washed away, washed away

CHORUS
Ho- san- na, ho- sanna
You are the God Who saves us, worthy of all our praises
Ho- san- na, ho- sanna
Come have Your way among us
We welcome You here, Lord Jesus

'Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your Pres- ence all our fears are washed away
'Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your Pres- ence all our fears are washed away, washed away

CHORUS
Ho- san- na, ho- sanna
You are the God Who saves us, worthy of all our praises
Ho- san- na, ho- sanna
Come have Your way among us
We welcome You here, Lord Jesus
(Repeat)
Ho- san- na, ho- san- na
Ho- san- na, ho- san- na
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm a lot better now. Thanks everyone.

And most of all, Thank you Jesus :)

(I will update on this further, but now I am finally free! I feel so happy! God has given me the strength to face the day)

2009-07-21T16:24:00.002+08:00

The law of large numbers (LLN) is a theorem in probability that describes the long-term stability of the mean of a random variable. Given a random variable with a finite expected value, if its values are repeatedly sampled, as the number of these observations increases, the sample mean will tend to approach and stay close to the expected value (the average for the population).

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_large_numbers

Or in other terms...

The law of averages is a lay term used to express a belief that outcomes of a random event shall "even out" within a small sample. As invoked in everyday life, the "law" usually reflects bad statistics or wishful thinking rather than any mathematical principle. While there is a real theorem that a random variable will reflect its underlying probability over a very large sample, the law of averages typically assumes that unnatural short-term "balance" must occur.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_averages

(LOL WIKIPEDIA SOURCES...)

Everyone has a bad day, or a bad 3 weeks. I had mine again (yes, again.).

Putting all the self pity aside, I think at least all of my weaknesses have been exposed. As one of my teachers says "it is only a rehearsal, and not really a true reflection of skill". Perhaps I have been at fault, for not preparing hard and smart enough. To be fair, I had a cold for 2 weeks. It is hard to focus with a cold. everytime you look down, mucus (and blood) comes out. The other 2 weeks were spent preparing for IOC. However, I did deserve what I got, and I have paid for it. Hopefully I won't get further consequences.

That being said, I believe my time will come, as the law of averages said so. I will be ensuring that when it happens, I will be prepared by working hard and smart enough.

Overall, I must say that everything is in God's hands. It's good that I made all my mistakes now, so I know where to improve on and so I'll be ready when the actual thing comes. God is great, whenever I fall down, He picks me up. I have made the jump before, and I can do it again, if that is His will.

Nonetheless, I'd like to thank everyone who has supported me along the way and I'm sorry for letting them down. I believe if I want it hard enough, God will grant me the desires of my heart if that be His will.

2009-07-08T14:05:00.012+08:00

(WARNING! This piece of fiction contains many vulgarities. Viewer Discretion is advised)

(This story is entirely fictitious, well, at least for the time being. Who knows what the future holds?)

"Paging for Dr Sean Lee! Paging for Dr Sean Lee!” rang the hospital's PA system.

Enjoying lunch at the hospital was one thing, now it was time for some action. Such is the life of a doctor that one has to be prepared for anything, even to the extent of skipping lunch.

I did not know what I was being called for, but I have a feeling that it was for the guy I met a few days prior.
__________________________________________________________________________________

A day or two ago, a man by the name of Michael Lim had been checked into the hospital. He was aged 65, and exudes an aura of confidence. He was very much like those high profile CEOs you see. Back then, I assumed he was one of those other cases. However, he was wearing a Ferrari shirt. As a Ferrari fan, I decided to pay him some extra attention. After all, they say that birds of a feather flock together.

I personally asked to be assigned to his case. It was bad of me as a doctor to show signs of favouritism. After all, I should not permit considerations of anything to intervene between me and my duty. Nonetheless, I had no major surgery on hand, so I guess it would not hurt to ask to be assigned to him.

An angiography was performed on him. It was a technique to visualise the lumen of blood vessels. It was quite common to me. After all, I am a cardiac surgeon. My first experience with angiography was when I was 8 and one of my family members had to undergo that procedure. I must say that I would have made a better doctor then than now. As a kid, I perhaps had more knowledge of medicine than any others at my age. Many have said that I was the most gifted child they have ever seen. I wonder what happened after I started growing.

As a result of the angiography performed, I discovered that quite a few arteries were showing atherosclerosis. Low density lipoprotein would be the main culprit. They are known as the bad guys, depositing cholesterol to form deposits, reducing flow of blood. To cut the long story short, a double bypass had to be done, or else he would suffer a myocardial infarction. It was not a matter of if; it was a matter of when.

As usual, I would always speak with the patient that I’m assigned to before any major operation. Not that a surgeon is expected to do this, but it was always nice to get to know your patients well, and empathise with them to know their situation well. When I was in my youth, I saw Dr Mehmet Oz on television saying that a doctor generally heals from the heart, not the brain (of course not in the literal manner).

Michael’s story was quite a sad one. As a successful businessman, he was rich beyond measure. However, there did not seem to be even a slight tinge of happiness in his life. His face tells his life story. He had not an easy life. His face was deeply etched, the lines criss-cross each other. Each line tells a life of toil and tears.
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He was once a proud husband and a father of 3 children, three girls aged 10, 8 and 6 at that time. They seemed to be a happy family, from the way he had described them. They had a financially secure life, good school, with a family consisting of loving parents and children, what more could they ask for?

One day however, everything changed. There was a time when Michael was about to go on a vacation with his family, and then had to back out of the trip due to some last minute business plans. He told them to go without him, as he did not want to spoil the long awaited trip.

“Daddy please come along! We’ll miss you”, said his children, who were in tears as they were about to board the plane.

“Not today. Next time” sad Michael as he gave his wife and children his goodbye kisses, “I promise you all I will. Now go enjoy your trip you little rascals! Do take care of mommy!”
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That was the last he ever saw of them. The plane went missing en-route to their destination, and was found to have crash landed somewhere in the ocean. There were no survivors found. Ever since that day, Michael seemed to have lost all meaning in life.

“You know, I’m a Christian” I told him, “Perhaps there’s a meaning to this. Maybe there’s a reason why God took you off that plane. I know that life is never smooth sailing, but God is always in control. Job from the Bible once lost all his kids, but found meaning in life again because he kept his faith.”

“Oh yes, there is one left” said Michael.

“As in? “, I asked

“I have a step-son”, replied Michael.

Soon an 18 year old boy came into the ward. He looked like those typical delinquents.

“Yo wazzup Michael? What the fucking hell happened to you”, said that boy

I was quite shocked, and I kept silent at first.

“Hi John. Hey meet Dr Lee, he’s the doctor that’s working on my case”, said Michael.

With that, I found out that the boy was named John. His name was quite similar to mine, and rather common too. It had the same meaning, just a different spelling. The named meant “Gift of God”, or “God is gracious”.

John tried to do a kind of handshake that you see those people in the “cool clique” do. The “soul brother hand shake”, as people call it.

“Umm no. How about what everyone calls the businessman handshake”, I said as I offered him my hand to do a standard proper handshake.

I guess John did not like to be mocked.

“Funny ah?” said John, “Motherfucking chao chee bye, kanina you think you very big isit?”

“Calm down, I mean no offence”, I replied.

“Fucking nerd”, exclaimed John.

“John, I think you should leave now. You shouldn’t make noise in a hospital”, Michael said firmly to John.

John looked pissed. “Cheebye doctor hope your mother and father die”, he said before he left.

“So yup, that’s my stepson!” said Michael.

“Alright. I think that’s enough for today. You should get some rest too. I’ll be praying for you,” I replied.

It was night time. It was time to go home after a long day. As I walked out of the hospital, I saw John with a group of 4 friends. They were all smoking outside and talking loudly, causing a nuisance to those going in and coming out of the hospital.

“Haha I’m gonna be rich kid! Just look at what I’m gonna inherit!” was what I heard coming from the group.

To think that John was talking about inheritance even when his father is still alive was quite disheartening already. Children nowadays seem to have lost respect for their parents, especially in this case.

“What? Why?” asked one of the friends.

“That fucking Michael is going to die. And somemore got some chao noob doctor act smart only, surely make Michael die faster only” said John. “Never mind, better for me also! I going to be rich! No need go school liao. Everyday can go play pool, drink beer, go LAN. ”

I was furious to hear that. Under normal circumstances, I would go out to give the person a telling off. However, I decided not to, as it was against my best wishes.

“Eh wanna play DOTA later? I wan go own some fucking noob clan”, said John as the rest laughed along. They boarded a taxi and left.

It was weird, that such behaviour is allowed to go on unnoticed. I asked God why such things were allowed to occur, and the only reply I got seemed to be “I’m always in control”. I began to have doubts though, even the taxi driver allowed 5 of them to board when only a maximum of 4 can, so I guess even fate showers blessings on them.

God once again said to me “I’m always in control”, and I was embarrassed for questioning His decision and asked for His forgiveness.

The next day, I went back to the hospital and decided to pay Michael a visit, but stopped short outside the ward. John and Michael seem to be having a heated up conversation.

“Bypass? So expensive lar! Don’t go!” said John

This seemed rather awkward. From experience, it is usually the father that does not want to go for the bypass and then being convinced by his children that he has to go. Now there seemed to be some form of role reversal going on here. Furthermore, John only talked about money, while other children would be saying “it’s too dangerous!” if they were against the bypass. This was very awkward indeed.

“No.” said Michael. “I have to go. If not I won’t survive”.

“Whatever, faster die lar Michael” replied John, “You dare call yourself a father?”

I was almost in tears when I saw this. I have never ever seen such a thing before. Anger was building up within me.

Then God said in a calming manner “I’m always in control”, which also caused me to cool down and walk in.

“Hello guys!” I said, “John I think you should let your father rest now”
“Pui!” said John, “You dare come back again ah nerd? I tell my gang whack you then you know ah.”

“Oh that gang? Tell them that they’re not allowed to smoke outside hospitals” I said.

“You dare talk back ah? Never mind do me a favour and make sure Michael dies faster”, said John as he left.

“Wow, how do you survive that every day?” I asked Michael.

“Me? Sometimes I surprise myself too!” replied Michael.

He sounded like an ACSian to me.

“Are you an ACS boy? “, I asked.

“Yes. Excellent observation! But I knew you were an ACS boy from day 1! ”, replied Michael.

“Oh wow! How do you know?” I enquired.

“All ACS boys become doctors what! “, joked Michael as we both shared a laugh.

I must say that this guy was my most interesting patient up to date.

“Oh by the way, I’m a Ferrari fan too! I’ve been watching since Michael Schumacher was battling Mika Hakkinen for the title! ”, I exclaimed.

“Oh yes. How do you know! “, said Michael.

“Your Ferrari t-shirt from day 1 “, I stated.

“Oh. I forgot. I guess I’m getting old! “, said Michael. “Yea Michael Schumacher was my favourite, because he has my name too!”

“Oh right. I’ve always liked Michael Schumacher. But my favourite has always been Felipe Massa.”, I told Michael.

“Oh yes. Almost everyone loves Flippy Massa. I must say he’s been a viewer’s favourite. Why do you like him so much?” asked Michael.

“Oh. I find that I’m like him. Always trying hard. Maybe too hard. But nonetheless he tries his best. And he seems to be the most human of all the drivers too! “ I said.

“Oh yea. F1 is great. People think that F1 is just about cars going round, round and round. “, said Michael.

“Yea. But it’s more than just that. A lot of strategy is involved. And don’t forget that the job of being an F1 driver is cool by definition, just not as cool as being a doctor! “ I said, “and the drivers personalities add the extra spice to make viewing races pleasurable”

“Yep. It’s great to see an ACS boy and a Ferrari fan as my doctor! “, said Michael.

“Yes. It is my pleasure to be assigned to you”, I replied. “Take a good rest, you’ll need it!”
__________________________________________________________________________________
"Paging for Dr Sean Lee! Paging for Dr Sean Lee!”

It was time for the bypass to be done. We placed Michael on a stretcher and wheeled him towards the operating theatre.

“Everything is going to be fine. “ I said. “You’re in the care of the best doctors in the world!”

“Thanks.” said Michael.

He did not say much. I guess it would be a heart wrenching experience to be on the brink of a major operation.

“Don’t worry. We’ll be precise and concise. Like an F1 pit crew! “ I said

“Haha. You seem calm even under pressure, I have much faith in you “, said Michael.

On the way to the operating theatre, I saw John. He was talking loudly on his mobile phone.

“ Eh I gonna celebrate getting my inheritance. My fake father going to die soon! Later tonight we celebrate by playing DOTA! “, said John on his mobile, “Har? Got team wan challenge us at some LAN shop ar? Come lar. I DOTA god okay! I own everyone. Everybody noob compared to me”

“Continue bringing the patient to the OT. I have to settle some things”, I said to the nurses, who did as told.

I was angry with the amount of disrespect shown. John only seemed to care about his inheritance. Worse still, when his father is in a life and death situation, all he could think about is DOTA. Furious, I knocked the mobile phone off his hand.

“Wah you think you big isit? Whats your fucking daiji? Wan me whack you up ar? “ said a furious John. “You better pay me for the handphone!”

I did not reply.

“ Scared talk isit? Har? Humji kia!” exclaimed John, “You want me call my gang settle you? “

Again, I kept silent.

Some nurses came to me, and were saying “Doctor, there’s no time for this. We have to start the bypass soon.”

“Actually, you so useless, I can settle you myself” said John.

He tried to land a punch on me. Before it could land, I grabbed his arm, twisted it back and pinned him against the wall. He was no match for me. After all, I was proficient in Karate.

“GET OFF YOU FUCKING NERD! I CALL POLICE THEN YOU KNOW! ”, screamed John in pain.

“Firstly, your fighting sucks. Don’t do it. Secondly, being a nerd is better than being you”, I said as I pinned him down with greater might, only to have him screaming in pain even more.

Soon, God appeared in my mind again. He once again reminded me “Whoever lives by the sword dies by the sword,” but I was still furious.

God then said to me “You have a life to save. You have promised that as a doctor for me, you will always put in your best to save lives. Don’t let this matter upset you, and remember, I’m always in control.”

I let go of John. I said to him “Thirdly, your father loves you very much, and no matter what the outcome of the operation is, please show him more love and respect.”

With that, I left to the operating theatre. I said a short prayer and then joined my team of surgeons for the operation.

The anaesthetist comes to put Michael to sleep using an injection to render him unconscious. We opened up the chest and examined his heart. Next, the bypass grafts are harvested from the thigh. It was the typical standard procedure, but nonetheless it still was rather scary to me. Any wrong move and the patient’s life will be in grave danger.

This was an off-pump surgery and the heart was placed on a device to keep it stabilized. One end of each graft gets sewn to the coronary arteries beyond the blockages and the other end gets attached to the aorta.

Next, it was time for the moment of truth. There was always the question o whether the heart will start pumping again after the stabilizing devices get removed. I had much faith in God, and I know that He is always in control. We did our best.

Thankfully, my prayers were answered and the heart started beating normally again.
We brought the sternum back together and sutured the incisions.

“Congratulations team, job well done! You guys are awesome! It’s been great working with you all!” I said in great delight.

“No problem man! Give yourself some credit too! “, said my fellow doctor.

“Yeah. And God deserves the most credit. It was He who made our surgery a success” I said and smiled.

I walked out of the operating theatre and went to the hospital lounge for a quick bite. I then met Dr Chow Minyang, a world renown neurosurgeon and a great friend of mine.

“Congrats Sean! Thank God for what happened. ” said Minyang.

“No problem. To God be the glory. Cheers! “, I said as we clinked our glasses together.

Michael would be placed in the intensive care unit to recover. In the care of the hospital, I was very sure that recovery would be speedy. With a job well done for today, I could go home with my head held high. I logged on to MSN.

An MSN conversation window opened. My friend Amandus typed “Hey sean! We have a team wanting to have a draft match with us at a LAN shop. I know you’re busy, but wanna come?”

I was tired and sleepy. Nonetheless, I was also captain of one of the top DOTA teams in the world.

“Sure. I’ll be right there” I typed.

I went to the LAN shop to meet Amandus and the rest of the team.

“Where’s our opponents? “, I asked.

“There “, said Amandus as he pointed towards them, “They are quite a rowdy bunch by the way “

I could recognise John and his friends. It was such a small world, and they were the enemy team that we were going to play against.

I walked up to John and said “Hi! “

John looked shocked to see me.

“Your father is alive and well, and soon he’ll recover.” I said.

He looked disappointed.

“Nonetheless, lets play!” I said.

“You’re going down you noob nerd” remarked John.

It was a captain’s mode. Zeus, spectre, broodmother, meepo, naix, puck, silencer and earthshaker were banned.

This is interesting, I thought.

Their team picked Keeper of the light, Pugna, Prophet, Enigma and Death Prophet.

It was easy to beat such picks who assumed they could use a pushing team of low HP heroes and forgot to ban SA.

Our team picked Tauren Chieftain, Tidehunter, Twin Head Dragon, Crystal Maiden, and I had the final pick of the Stealth Assassin.

Their team had a good start. However, their push strategy was no good against our anti push and hero clearing combinations. I personally had a score of 20+ kills and 0 deaths. It was an easy win, despite them giving us trouble in the earlier stages of the game. I wondered how they did such picks, after all any Tom, Dick and Harry will know that a team has to have a balance of intelligence, agility and strength heroes. Too much of one type of hero will expose the team’s weaknesses more easily.

That was just like why a rugby team has a combination of different types of players. You do not usually see a rugby team with all huge people, who will be able to muscle away the opposition relatively easily but tire out in the later stages. Or all small and nimble people, who will be fast but get beaten down to size rather easily. Their loss was just like that. DOTA is quite an easy game, even though much thought is placed into coming up with complex strategies, common sense plays a part.

John’s team was furious with their loss; they called us cheaters and left the LAN shop. I could hear John calling his friends “noobs” and he left. I guess he should realise that not all players are versatile and that people have their own personal preferences, and then pick accordingly. That aside, I was really happy.

“Congratulations team, job well done! You guys are awesome! It’s been great working with you all!” I said in great delight, similar to what I said to my team of surgeons just now.

Such is the life of Dr Sean Lee. A doctor by day; and a DOTA captain by night.

A few days later, I returned to the hospital. Michael had been discharged and I did not get to say good bye. However, the receptionist gave me a note left for me by Michael.

It read “Hi Sean. You’ve given my life much meaning again. It’s been great talking to you. You’re like the son I’ve never had. I’m very proud to have you as my doctor. The journey has been rather tough for me, but it has been a great honour to have you alongside me. As a token of my appreciation, here is a gift from me to you”.

Enclosed in the note was an F1 Paddock Club ticket at the Circuit de Monaco for the upcoming Monaco Grand Prix!

Awesome!

Being a doctor is so cool!

Of course, this story is entirely fictional, a door leading to the future. Not a future that will be, but one that might be. This is not a figment of imagination (though arguably, it is), but rather an extension of the life I’m living now. The future is uncertain, but everyone has the power to choose their own future. It is a gift from God, to decide what we want. My decision is to be a doctor for Christ.

2009-06-30T21:18:00.003+08:00

How Time Flies

It's really amazing how time flies. As everyone can see, I have not made a blog post since 7th May. This is not because I have nothing to post, but time just moves so fast that I just can't seem to keep up. In just a blink of an eye, I find myself already halfway through the year and in the middle of my mid year common tests. Oh, and did I forget to mention, my birthday is coming up in just a few hours time!

So much has happened, and I have experienced the good, the bad and the ugly. With news such as H1N1, and even Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett passing away, it does show that even the world around us is rather happening. I must say that this is a messy world, with too many distractions around. I'm quite amazed that I have managed to make it this far. I really can't wait to complete this phase of my life on a high.

I've always wanted to be a 45 pointer for IB. But just yesterday, I sat through a really traumatising Economics Paper 1 and I fell into despair. I'm serious, it sure sounds stupid to be almost in tears after a paper...but it happened to me. To add salt into the wounds, I went home to read a rather saddening blog post from one of my close friends. I was really down. Such things do take a toll on me mentally.

And then, I rememebered that true friends are like stars. Or maybe like the moon, as Rodney says. In the day when everything is bright and things are looking up, you can't really see them. I'm very thankful to have such great friends who have came up to comfort me after such a bad day. As well as all the other days when I needed a shoulder to cry on, they'll always come up to lend me a hand. I love all my close friends very much. My family have always been really supportive of me, and I love them all. Oh and to my DOTA team, I've really enjoyed all the late night dota sessions! Haha!

Last but not least, I must really give thanks to my best friend up above, none other than God. Words can never describe how much He has guided me through this hectic year. Despite the fact that God loves me so deeply, I know I've not been the best of His people, and I find myself doing things that He would not feel proud of. Nonetheless, I'll like to fulful my desire to honour God above all others. Slowly, but surely, I know I'll get there.

I know, I know, I've got so many people to acknowledge. But lets keep it here. Life has to go on.

There's still an examination tomorrow...

and it is rumoured to be the hardest I'll ever do in my life up to now.

But. I am ready for it!

Bring on my birthday exam!

2009-05-07T17:04:00.003+08:00

Interesting. I've got 30+ upon 60 for Blackout Bio Test. I guess it was the lowest mark in the class, but I couldn't have asked for better. It was a huge relief to pass a test I did not study for (no fault of my own thanks the blackout). Sadly though, it was a test that could've gone my way with studying where 50+ / 60 was possible. However, that'll just show that fate is unfair if I had achieved a high result without studying. So yea, passing the test was already good enough for me here.

For Math Test, I did not study or practice much. That was punished with a 30+ mark upon 60. Again I daresay 50+ / 60 was possible, but this was my fault for wasting my own opportunities. I hope I do not repeat this mistake ever again, no Math Test wiill ever come this easy again.

On a positive note, one thing good I can take home from here is that I can pass without studying. Therefore, there is no reason for me to fail anything on any grounds, let alone after studying. Sure those tests were easy, but without ammo you can't even kill the smallest opponent.

To end it off, something amazing happened for my Chemistry Test. The one day where I didn't play and actually studied for a test, and it was rewarded with a 30/30 which should top the class and level (unless someone can get 31! Haha). If I'm not wrong, this was the first time I've achieved full marks for a test in IB. Sure, there were hints jumping around here and there like in the form of MSN display names and overhearing post-test talk from the rest, but it was a really easy test (it was set as such) where studying will guarentee the marks, so yea the hints weren't really needed. Wow, always feels great to be a first timer for something nice! :D

Nonetheless, I shall not be overconfident, though my expectations have been raised to a higher level. That being said, it'll be nice to be a 45 pointer. I don't think I'm there yet but I think everybody in this school has the potential to be a 45 pointer, it's a matter of how much we want it and how much we are willing to work for it.

Now, I hope I can clear off my IAs so I can come in some clean air.

2009-05-03T00:25:00.004+08:00

It's bad when people are hard on you just because you are new.

It's bad when people make you angry and then try to give you advice.

It's bad when people don't realise that their advice will only make you angrier.

Basically, it sucks when people are insensitive (alright, who am I to say this. I've been insensitive to ppls' feelings many times).

Furthermore, it really sucks when your own home ground is against you by having a blackout the night before Bio Test (what a pity. such an easy test but I didn't have the "ammo")

That being said, I have every right to call myself a genius if I manage to pass the test. True, if you pass a test that you did not study for, that must really be something (and Biology is one of those content heavy subjects where a lot of "ammo" is needed). Besides, without studying, I didn't have the "ammo" to begin with so I was basically "using my hands in a gun fight".

2009-04-18T03:17:00.003+08:00

WITH REGARD TO THE PREVIOUS POST:

Actually, it doesn't matter if I get branded or anything. I've already proven myself capable of performing when opportunities presents itself. Besides, I know there are people who are rooting for me and it would not be fair to them if I were to yield to the way society brands me.

What I believe, is that all of us should practice humility and not bring others down as we see fit. Because, it wouldn't be nice to be at the receiving end.

and more importantly,

God will judge us according to the way we judge others.

Speaking of that, I've been a great sinner nowadays. That I have to admit. My behaviour has been really aggressive and I get angry rather often. I pray that I will allow God to bring about the change within me.

and, God is really fair. He doesn't look at capability (haha I might have blown that one if it were looked at), but rather He looks at availability.

Life may not be fair in human terms. that is a fact. However, God's plan is perfect, and from His point of view, His plan for us is definitely fair and just.

2009-04-18T01:35:00.003+08:00

WARNING! EMO POST! DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!

I want to write a title for this, but I can't think of any. Nothing really beats the feeling of being hated for your existence. Granted, I am with many faults, I admit I can get irritating at times, sometimes I can get a bit high and random, and perhaps sometimes I display a heck-care attitude, the list goes on. However, so is everyone else, that point cannot be denied.

Those who speak badly of me don't really know me well, that is fact. That means, I don't really talk to them. Therefore, one may ask why I don't make the first move. Well frankly, I don't see the use of trying. Call me antisocial if you like, but I'll mix around when I find the need to. Besides, sometimes I am known to piss people off by talking too much, but then again so did everyone else at some point of their lives.

So, going back again, why don't I try? Don't talk = get hated. Talk = piss people off if the wrong thing is said. There, I took the easy way out.

And then again there are some people who still hate you for your existence. Perhaps maybe you don't perform up to expectations of society, and thus you are made a laughing stock of. All of us have been comparaed to someone else at least one point of their lives. I'm pretty suree no one likes to be compared. I don't like being compared. If I'm the inferior one, I'll be branded as such and that would not be very nice at all. If I'm the superior one, well I woouldn't feel good by indirectly causing the inferior one to get branded, and also I'll face the pressures of society to continue this "supeeriority".

Not convinced?

Alright. Imagine you're a really smart person (JUST IMAGINE!). However, society decides otherwise and brands you "DUMB". So, no matter what happens, they'll keep calling you "DUMB". Sooner or later, it'll start to sink in subconsciously and you will feel "DUMB" despite your smartness.

Anyway, I'm not that smart, so it'll probably sink in faster if the "DUMB" branding is used on me. Or has it already been used?

No, I'm not criticising the whole society (even though there is much grounds for that), it's just a minority that start it, and then those small number influence others, who in turn influence more others. The snowballing effect.

The thing is, I find this minority of people really unreasonable. Those at the receiving end of their insults may have less tangible qualifications or whatever, but it's most probably because they just didn't get the correct opportunities (Yes, life is unfair. I've accepted that long ago). Probably, if opportunities had decided to take another turn, that minority of people who just delight in bringing others down would probably be the ones at the receiving end instead.

Don't understand it? Well! Look at Lewis Hamilton! When opportunity presented itself in the form of an Alonso developed McLaren car (further enhanced by stolen Ferrari data), he got 2nd in his first year and won the world championship in his second year. Of course, he wasn't the nicest of people, he called the backmarkers "monkeys at the back" (Monaco 2007). Now, look what happened, opportunity took another turn and now he is finding himself being one of those "monkeys at the back" in an underperforming McLaren. Oh btw, those "monkeys at the back" are now in the front.

Yes. I think it is unreasonable to put others down, even if their results ain't that good. Because, like the case of the "monkeys at the back", opportunities didn't really go their way. Besides, have you ever tried literally to pull someone down? You'll have to apply a force downwards, which also brings yourself down. So yea, by putting others down, you'll probably end up putting yourself down too...

Alright. I better end this here before I blabber on too much.

2009-04-10T23:53:00.004+08:00

TAMING THE TIGER

Taming the tiger Tony Anthony part 1
Uploaded by DESTINACTION

Taming the tiger Tony Anthony part 2
Uploaded by DESTINACTION

Taming the tiger Tony Anthony part 3
Uploaded by DESTINACTION

Taming the tiger Tony Anthony part 4
Uploaded by DESTINACTION

Taming the tiger Tony Anthony part 5
Uploaded by DESTINACTION

These videos are from the programme called Taming the Tiger, about how God changed the life of Tony Anthony (he visited my school to speak to us).
_____________________________________________________________________________________
'FROM the depths of hell to the heights of glory,' reads the subtitle of Tony Anthony's biography - and it is no exaggeration.

Taming the Tiger tells the extraordinary story of a martial arts champion, bodyguard and criminal - who now dedicates his life to Christian ministry.

Anthony was recently in Ontario where he appeared on 100 Huntley Street, and conducted outreach at Grand Valley Institution for Women in Kitchener.

Anthony was declared World Kung Fu Champion three years running, 1987 - 89. He then began a downward spiral, becoming a mercenary thug. His resultant imprisonment led to an unexpected liberation.

Born to a Chinese mother and Italian father, Anthony was sent to China at age four. He was raised as a Buddhist by his grandfather, who was a grandmaster in Kung Fu - and passed these skills on to his grandson.

"I did what my grandfather wanted me to do," Anthony told BCCN. "The training was rigorous. I very much felt like a wild animal being broken in."

He competed in illegal bouts, and then went on to work for the International Kung Fu Federation - grading teachers and training soldiers in anti-terrorist tactics. He moved on, specializing in 'close protection' bodyguarding for wealthy clients.

His motives were "money, freedom to travel, fast cars, women, what have you."

The 1988 death of his fiancee in an accident derailed Anthony's life. "I flipped. I took out my anger on people. I was a spiteful, terrible person." By this point, he was also involved in high-stakes debt collection - which enabled him to act out.

"If somebody looked at me the wrong way, I'd smash their face. Instead of shooting people in the arm, I'd shoot them in the head. A few were killed." By Christmas Eve, 1989, he was in Nicosia Central Prison in Cyprus. "Midnight Express - that's not too far off from where I was."

At first, he felt he could endure the harsh conditions. "Two things gave me strength: my religion and my martial arts." But soon, he found these things wanting. "My Buddhism didn't do much for me. I needed to find strength within me - and I couldn't."

Soon after, he said, Irish missionary Michael Wright "was bold enough to write me a letter." In the visits which followed, Wright "never preached at me. I respected him for putting his money where his mouth was."

One day, Anthony's temper once again got the better of him. "I was going to hit Michael one day, over something horrific that had happened in the prison - and he shared the gospel with me." Anthony realized that "the one thing I hadn't tried was Jesus Christ."

Later, "on my hands and knees in my cell - pouring my heart out, in tears - I asked Jesus to help me to be willing to turn away from my old way of life. My life changed, as quick as night to day, in 24 hours."

Soon, he said, "I was being convicted to forgive and serve my fellow inmates - murderers, thieves, drug smugglers and violent people like me. We became trophies of grace."

Anthony was released in 1992. Since that time, he said, he has had some spiritual setbacks. "I made the mistake of assuming that God's work in one's life ends when you accept Christ."

God, however, "is a God of second chances. As a Christian, I'm just like a building site - I'm under construction."

Anthony is now evangelism director for Avanti Ministries, based in England.

http://www.canadianchristianity.com/cgi-bin/bc.cgi?bc/bccn/1005/06tiger

2009-04-03T00:36:00.002+08:00

The Endtimes

Earlier in school, my economics teacher told us that we're living in the end times. In the G20 summit, China is pushing for a one world currency. Just do a google search on it.

I agree with my teacher about the significance of China pushing for a one world currency. No doubt we're living in the endtimes now. Earlier (December last year) we saw Gaza invaded by Israel...

and...

A one world currency may be coming right up ...

This marks the start of the things to come ...

Alright. That being said, I'm supposed to be looking forward to it. The Rapture, where I can finally meet God in person.

Then again, I shall be honest. I shall not lie. I'm not looking forward to it for a few reasons ... I've done things which disappointed God, and some things included doing nothing when something right could've been done (sin doesn't just mean doing the wrong thing, it also includes doing nothing when you know the right thing should be done).

And then there's another reason ... So many people need saving. Many of whom are really close to me ...

and

I just feel powerless.

2009-03-20T02:03:00.005+08:00

In the Face of Negativity

The world is full of negative views. As an extention to the previous post, I shall practice what I preach by defying the negative views of this world.

The world likes to put down dreamers. Joseph was a dreamer who dreamed that one day he'll be some ruler. His brothers immediately put him down (and brothers are supposed to be close to each other!!!), and even tried to kill him. Along the way he met other obstacles like being sold to the Ishmaelites, being thrown into prison, etc...

However, if not for meeting those obstacles, he wouldn't have been some great lord of Egypt, second only to the Pharoah. All he had to do was to have faith in God's plan for him.

It's that easy.

God gave us a spirit of power, the power to achieve anything and everything we set out to achieve. Yet the devil tries to implant negativity into our heads, constantly telling us that we are not good enough. How the devil does this, perhaps by giving us an inferiority complex, by asking people close to us to tell us to "give ourselves a reality check (which is wrong because in reality, we are capable of anything and everything)", or just directly placing obstacles in front of us like bad results and so on.
Thus, my aim is simple, nothing lower than 45 for IB.

Call me a dreamer if you want. However, I must say that I'm a very firm believer of dreaming (dreaming is different from arrogance). If not for chasing seemingly unattainable dreams, I wouldn't have got into ACS Independent after PSLE and O levels. That was quite a big achievement for me already, for everyone knows how hard it is to enter the IB programme. Besides, I believe that being an IB student, all of us should be aiming for 45 points (which we are capable of), or else we should start considering what on earth are we doing in the programme.

Still not convinced? How about this - Einstein was a dreamer, Thomas Edison wass a dreamer, Muhammed Ali was a dreamer, Michael Jordan was a dreamer ... Just name me any successful person who is not a dreamer. None.

And they didn't start off well to begin with. Einstein had to copy his friends' notes just to attain a pass in his university exam, Thomas Edison failed 1000 times, Michael Jordan and Muhammed Ali had physical obstacles (being physically unfit for your dream...fancy that?) themselves as they were told they were to small to be playing in their own competitive fields.

All those people had a chance of turning back... and with good reason too! But yet they kept on trying, beacuse they had a passion. A passion to follow their dreams, no matter how far off they seem.

And if they can do it, so can we. They're just humans, like us, there's no difference at all...really...

It's time to make a check on our lives: Are we limiting ourselves?

Are you limiting yourself?

2009-03-20T01:44:00.002+08:00

Defiance

Not all forms of defiance are bad. Some are actually good, such as defying the world and society's views.

In John 15:18-19, Jesus said "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you."

The world hates God because they choose sin over God.

In Galatians 5:19-21, the evil deeds of the world are shown very clearly "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like."

In order to defy such views of the world, we have to show the fruit of the Spirit, as shown in Galatians 5:22-23 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."

Someone once said that "knowing that the world hates God, the great temptation for Christians is to compromise to try to appease the haters. But as Jesus taught, a man cannot serve two masters."

So you have to pick a side...

Which side will you pick?

2009-03-17T12:33:00.004+08:00

Father I don't know what You are planning for me...

I'm lost...

I need Your assurance...

Set me apart, I know You're drawing me to Yourself...Lead me Lord i pray

2009-03-12T23:23:00.002+08:00

Untitled

I seriously wonder if you notice the increase in the gap between us, the less enthusiastic replies and how disgusted I feel when ...

I've given away enough...

2009-03-11T00:00:00.003+08:00

X and Y

The following story is entirely fictitious. As Mark Twain says,"Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot."

There are 2 science teachers. One is an ownage teacher. He knew his content inside out and he knows how to teaach his concepts well. Lets call him X. Another is a not so well to do teacher. He does not know his content well, but he reads up a lot on high level science journals. Lets call him Y.

Now Y goes and tells all the science teachers to read up on the science journals he has just read. Nobody knows what Y's intentions are, but X sees it as an insult to his intelligence. Firstly, he's already the best science teacher in the school. Secondly, he probably knows about it already. Thirdly, why does Y keep stating how good those science journals he read are, when X himself already knows it. All he had to do was ask X.

Now X starts producing his own science notes for the students. Y thinks a concept is wrong, when the concept was just not seen clearly by Y. Y goes up to X and tells X that it's wrong. X tells him that he know's his stuff and that he already checked through the notes to make sure it's correct. Y shows him that point. X sees it and says it's correct. Y says no and then pulls out some science books.

Y says "Hey, Campbell Soup, Goods Services Tax, Silver Bird, etc say so! (Names of books censored for obvious reasons LOL)"

X looks at the books. The books themselves are also wrong. X knows this. He's done enough research in his field to be convinced that his answer is right. Yet Y continues insisting that the books are the best and that if the book does it means that it's the best explanation. Then he insists that X changes his concept...

Y also gives his students a scolding when they refer to X's notes. Then he tells them that X's notes are not a reliable source of information. Then he asks them to refer to his high level books instead. Then X finds out. Gosh...

END OF STORY...

If you were X...

While it is good to be open to many points of view, what if someone like Y comes up to you and shows some book and tells you that based on the book, you are wrong, even though the book is clearly wrong.

You know your stuff already, but Y keeps asking you to read his high level journals. This is like telling you straight in the face "Hey, your concept is wrong. You're not better than the book".

Alright, while the book or journal may be better than you in science content, you don't like to feel insulted by someone who has more faith in some book than in his colleague.

And of course, if you already know it and you've displayed how well you know it, what if Y actually asks u to read the journal on it. That will be annoying indeed.

If I were Y,

It would be simple. I'll go on reading my science books. But I'll have more faith in my own colleague than in some book. A case of priorities misplaced. I'll show X the respect he deserves...

2009-03-08T11:52:00.002+08:00

Reflecting
____________________________________________________________________
Just as a mirror reflects your physical self, your WHOLE life should reflect your God.

If the mirror does not reflect your physical self at all angles, everything is wrong with the mirror, because the function of the mirror is to reflect the physical.

If your WHOLE life does not reflect your God in all aspects, everything is wrong with your life, because the function of your life is to reflect your Creator.

What do you see in your reflection? Do others mistake you for Jesus? If not, something is wrong in your life today.
____________________________________________________________________

That was from Minyang's blog.

I find myself lacking in many aspects, for I know that in me also lies the capability to sin, no matter how hard I try to live my life for Jesus. I always find myself time after time again putting my own interests first, instead of God's.

My actions have lately made me put many things and many people before God. The time will soon come (maybe it has already come) when I will learn not to put people as my pillars, and instead put God as my pillar. No one will be there for you forever 24/7, for everyone has their own interests to pursue. Friends and family will always come and go as they like ... not that I wanna sound offensive, but everyone has their own lives to run. Only God will be there for you 24/7.

And I really feel stupid for putting temporary pillars before the permanent pillar of God.

Forgive me ...

In my heart, I still want the temporary pillars ... It's my own human desire to want. Even though I know that the Lord is my shepherd, I'm only human...I still want things...I know it's not good...

I'm confused...

Jesus take the wheel, take it from my hands, for I can't do this on my own ...

2009-03-08T03:09:00.001+08:00

Duality Continued

There is good and there is evil… right and wrong… heroes and villains. And if we’re blessed with wisdom, then there are glimpses between the cracks of each where light streams through. We wait in silence for these times when sense can be made… when meaningless existence comes into focus, and our purpose presents itself. And if we have the strength to be honest, then what we find there staring back at us is our own reflection, bearing witness to the duality of life. That each of us is capable of both the dark and the light… of good and evil… of either, of all. And destiny, while marching ever in our direction, can be rerouted by the choices we make. By the love we hold onto and the promises we keep.

Adapted from Heroes

2009-03-05T23:48:00.004+08:00

If I could turn back time

I would've done something differently...

I didn't realise how important you are to me ... till now ...

Don't do this to me ... Don't go ...

Stay ...

2009-03-05T00:59:00.005+08:00

What are YOU holding on to?

Says it all really...

For now, I'd like to say that I'm glad I can hold on to my integrity, despite the pressures from all sides. So what if I've got what I initally had craved for, while succumbing to the temptation of losing my integrity? It's only physical... and it'll be stupid to gain something which can be lost to lose something that should not be lost under ideal circumstances. The trials of earth are small compared with the triumphs of heaven.

One day, when I go up to heaven, and I look back at what happened... I can be happy that God will be proud of me for this, for I did what Jesus would've done too :D

Thank you Jesus. You've made my paths straight.

2009-03-03T01:59:00.002+08:00

Law of Diminishing Returns

Tell me, is this the law of diminishing returns at work?

Equal quantities of one variable factor are increased, while other factor inputs remain constant, ceteris paribus, a point is reached beyond which the addition of one more unit of the variable factor will result in a diminishing rate of return and the marginal physical product will fall.

Or im simpler terms, the same thing applied more and more will result in a decrease in effect. Which is why we get bored of old toys, which is why we get bored with old games, which is why we get bored with repetitive stuff...

Which is why we get bored with our friends?

Please. Tell me you're not driftng away...

Tell me tha the Law of Diminishing Returns does not apply to us...

And tell me that it does not apply to you and your friends too ...

Thank you Lord, for being my best friend time after time. No matter how many times You see me, You never get bored of me and still spend your time with my everyday issues even though You have the whole universe to rule. Sure it helps to be omnipresent, but I'm deeply honoured that someone so powerful as You would lower yourself down to my position and be with me no matter what. I'll never have another friend like you Lord...I want to be able to show this love to others, and that others will take after me as well. I'm lost now. Very lost. Do give me your guiding light. Amen.

2009-03-03T01:27:00.004+08:00

What's Best?

Last saturday, whilel I was not at home, my sister sent me an sms telling me that one of my pet terrapins (I named it LC after a very close friend of mine) has escaped its tank and went missing. On hearing this, I was really sad. In fact, I didn't know how on earth LC could've escaped the tank, and if so, how it could survive such a fall and the unfamiliar environment of the living room.

I prayed hard that harm would not befall LC. Even though I only bought him for a week, there was really a strong pet-owner bond.

Luckily, my grandmother was able to find LC and put him back into the tank. I heard that he was covered in dust and did not really look in quite a good shape. Nonetheless, it was never ever this happy to be back in that tank. I went to buy a new and bigger tank after that.

Anyway, we humans are like LC. We think we know what's best for us, which may different from what God has in mind for us. We can try to go for what we want, but if God doesn't have that in mind, we would likely end up in danger. Falling off the tank, getting trapped in harsh and unfamiliar environments. Yes. That's what happened to LC. Now multiply that on a bigger scale and that's what would befall us humans should we choose to reject God's plan. When we reject His plan, He will be sad that we are lost. But the thing is, God loves us so much that He won't let us rot and die. He will come looking for us (He sent Jesus to die for us), and if we want to return to him, He will be more than glad to welcome us home, regardless of what we've done.

I would like to thank God that LC is okay now and for this unique learning experience. And yup. LC is adapting well to the new tank.

2009-02-21T13:05:00.002+08:00

Justice

Today on the bus, God placed a thought in my mind to read the Daily Bread (which I keep in my bag to read, along with the Bible, when I need to). One thing that caught my mind was the section on "Dying for Justice" on Friday February 20th.

The story goes like this -
When Presbyterian clergyman Elijah Lovejoy (1802 - 1837 ... yes he died when he was 25 ... pretty young if you ask me) left the pulpit, he returned to the printing presses in order to reach more people. After witnessing a lynching, Lovejoy committed to fighting the injustice of slavery. His life was threatened by hateful mobs, but this did not stop him: "If by compromise is meant that I should cease from my duty, I cannot make it. I fear God more than I fear man. Crush me if you will, but I shall die at my post." Four days after these words, he was killed at the hands of another angry mob.

The Daily Bread further stated this -
Concern about justice for the oppressed is evident throughout Scripture. It was especially clear when God established the rules for His covenant people after they were released from Egyptian bondage (Deuteronomy 24 : 18-22). Moses emphasized concern for the underprivileged (Exodus 22:22-27; 23:6-9; Leviiticus 19:9-10). Repeatedly, the Israelites were reminded that they had been slaves in Egypt and should deal justly with the underprivileged in their community. They were to love strangers ("aliens") because God loves them, and the Israelites had themselves been aliens in Egypt (Exodus 23:9; Leviticus 19:34; Deuteronomy 10:17-19). God desires that His people affirm the supreme worth of every individual by fighting against injustice.

I would like to add that this does have many implications in my life. In school, all of us have definitely heard of the term "uncool" or perhaps those outcasts rejected by society. Some may have been outcasts based on following God's word, others may have simply been outcasts based on weird behaviour. Whatever the case, we must remember that God said in Deuteronomy 17 - 18 "Do not deprive the alien or the fatherless of justice, or take the cloak of the widow as a pledge. Remember that you were slaves in Egypt, and the Lord your God redeemed you from there."

I know most of us aren't Israelites, but the meaning of it is there, God commands us to show love to everyone for He loves us to. We ourselves are all outcasts from heaven. Why? Firstly, we must remember that heaven is PERFECT. When we sin, we are IMPERFECT, and thus we tarnish the perfectness of heaven if we enter. Yes, we all sin, and if we say that we don't, we've just committed another sin of lying. We are all outcasts ...

What did God do? He Himself came down in the form of Jesus Christ, a manifestation of God as a human being. He became an outcast of heaven in order to live with us outcasts. He came from heaven to earth to show the way. In the process of doing that, Jesus became an outcast on this earth too. So much so that we crucify Him for our debts to pay (Do note that when we sin, we deem His ways uncool by rejecting Him and further contribute to crucifying Him on the cross).

As children of God, we should be mini Christs show the love that God showed us to everyone else, including who we deem as outcasts. Even if it means becoming outcasts. His disciples became outcasts on earth as well by following Jesus. Remember they were persecuted. Let me quote from my previous post "Proving the Resurrection" : "One of the points worth mentioning will be the conviction of the disciples. Their faith being so strong that they would even die for what they believe in. People may say "oh my gosh those guys are crazy...they must be lying!". It would've been very easy for Peter to deny Christ again like he did 3 times before. All 11 of the 12 disciples were killed for what they believed in."

To put it simply, perhaps we could see those prejudiced by society as what they really are than what they appear to be. Maybe someone appears to us as overly aggressive, but what he really needs is a friend ... be that friend! Standing for justice means fighting against injustice.

In doing all these, we may become outcasts too. We may get insulted and made fun of. But hey, what's a little pain (Matthew 5:11-12 states "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.) as compared to being crucified on the cross? What's an insignificant loss when it allows us to get closer to God (Which is our true purpose in life) ?

In doing all these, we could be rejected by those we try to help. We may find that we are just wasting our time and that they can't be helped. But hey, God actually DIED to help us when we were unwilling to receive His help (we reject Him time after time and He even got crucified!).

A few things to reflect on
- Have I shown God's love (defined in 1 Corinthians 13) to everyone I know, even those I deem to be undeserving (those who wrong us? those outcasts?) of it?
- Have I stood for justice in the face of the pressures (being popular? being cool? having a good reputation?) of society?
- Have I given up my own wants (popularity?) for what I truly need (God)?
- Have I truly suffered for the righteousness of God?

Now I would like to pray this prayer. You may join me if you like.
"Open my eyes, Lord, to people around me,
Help me to see them as You do above;
Give me the wisdom and strength to take action
So others may see the depth of Your Love."

As always, do feel free to use my tagboard for any clarifications :D

2009-02-16T19:57:00.004+08:00

Too Much

To update...

Far too much to update...

I can't share everything I've been through these past few weeks in one blog post. Indeed, words will not do justice to this.

I was in great pain today. Very great pain. I had no idea it would be this painful, for I last experienced this about 2-3 years ago. My stools were more or less water. I was vomitting so much...It was painful...I feel weak even up till now...

The mind is the best cure. It was very touching to see people care so much for my welfare. It was so touching to know that God was up there looking out for me. Friends and family are God given, I never knew that they'll go the extra mile to make sure I'm okay. This made me feel so touched that my body somehow started healing itself.

To name a few -

My dad went the extra mile, literally, in the rain. He braved the storm to pick up a bottle of H2O for me which will be used as an electrolyte drink to replenish my lost mineral salts. My mom too, was a great source of comfort during this time.

My friend Minyang was there to give me medical advice, to ensure that I can go through this period more comfortably. My friend LC was also there to give me a series of comforting messages, which made a troubling time like this easier to go through.

Of course, it was quite sad that I couldn't do my potential best during the Economics Test today due to the illness, but I guess what matters is that I did my utmost best given the circumstances I had. Yep.

I did not eat a single meal today due to my lack of appetite. Quite strange for me. I always tend to eat more during times of illness. Oh well...

Nonetheless, I thank God for all these people in my life. I'm forever indebted.

Try as you may, words...will never do justice to the emotions I'm feeling right now...

I guess, God is right to say that I am strong when I am weak...

Indeed ... I am ...

2009-02-04T00:47:00.003+08:00

Love is Simple

All of us have been searching for a definition of true love. The Bible puts it down so clearly (1 Corinthians 13):

"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

And the Bible puts it so clearly that we are to love everyone.

In 1 John 4:

"Dear friends, let us love one another for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."

Lemme challenge you all to do something, love someone who has wronged you. Yes, it may either be easy or hard...but whatever it is...God has been doing that for us...

We repeatedly sin and hurt Him time after time, yet He still loves us...and he gave the ultimate sacrifice by dying for our sins (THIS HAS A LOT OF IMPLICATIONS, TOO MANY TO BE MENTIONED HERE)

Yup, that's the simple message I would like to bring across for now. As for how to love those who wrong us, why not start by keeping no record of their wrongs :D

2009-01-29T01:29:00.005+08:00

Yes 2

I watched Yes Man a 2nd time. I must say it still has been pretty awesome ... if not better ...

I do enjoy the company of my friend. Who says movies are bad for socialising?

Sleepy day...sianzzz...I'm gonna hit dream land soon ... I can't take it ...

No point worrying about the future ...

Yet we all still do ...

Yes yes yes yes yes...lallala if only it were as easy as saying yes to everything ...

Have I failed him ... He went on a relapse ...

No please not him ...

Was my time wasted ...

It was just some soccer game ... Maybe it was a one off case ...

No soccer should be fun!

Yes yes soccer should be fun ... gah ... why are thoughts bombarding my head ...

Why am I just writing down everything that comes into my head ...

Please ... not him ...

God ... I pray ... that he actually changed for the better ...

No relapses please ...

You may all say this doesnt concern me ...

It does ...

He's my friend ...

Yes I will help him ...

Yes ... Yes ...

Yes ...

Please don't let yourself down ... We went through a lot ...

If you want others to give you a chance ...

You must open the door for the chance to come in ...

Makes sense?

Yes ...

Yuppp...

Yes ...

Dozed off ... zzz

(WEBMASTER'S NOTE : THIS IS A POST MADE WHEN I'M ALMOST NEAR SLEEPING ... A DOZEY POST I MUST SAY!!! ... JUST TO EXPERIMENT!!! SO YEA DUH IT LACKS COHERENT THOUGHT AND PROPER ENGLISH! LOLZ!!!)

2009-01-28T12:31:00.002+08:00

Woohoo...How did my conscientiousness level drop so much!?!?! I sorta disagree with that! I think I've been more hardworking lately!

Rawr!

For those who want to do the test - http://www.learnmyself.com/

But don't say I didn't warn you that the results might be screwed! (Ok other than the conscientiousness, my results were generally OK)

2009-01-28T12:15:00.008+08:00

My Personality (CURRENT)

My Personality


Neuroticism	57
Extraversion	89
Openness to Experience	64
Agreeableness	84
Conscientiousness	39


	You very rarely feel depressed and are usually in a good frame of mind, however high levels of stress can lead to you feeling panic or confusion, but usually you cope with day to day pressures. You like crowds but sometimes feel overwhelmed by them. Sometimes you feel like you need some privacy and time for yourself. You enjoy a certain amount of debate or intellectual thought, but sometimes get bored with too much. You find helping other people genuinely rewarding and are generally willing to assist those who are in need. You find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice, however there are times when you believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary, however you are mostly candid, frank and sincere. People find it moderately easy to relate to you. You have strong will-power and are able to overcome your reluctance to begin tasks. You are able to stay on track despite distractions.

My Personality (April 22)


Neuroticism	45
Extraversion	82
Openness To Experience	67
Agreeableness	59
Conscientiousness	69

You are sociable, outgoing, energetic, and lively. You prefer to be around people much of the time. Stressful and frustrating situations can be upsetting to you, but you are generally able to get over these feelings and cope with these situations. A desire for tradition does not prevent you from trying new things. Your thinking is neither simple nor complex. To others you appear to be a well-educated person but not an intellectual. You have some concern with others' needs, and are generally pleasant, sympathetic, and cooperative. You set clear goals and pursue them with determination. People regard you as reliable and hard-working.

2009-01-26T17:22:00.003+08:00

Image from heroeswiki

The Eclipse

It starts with light, and ends with light, and in between there is darkness.

Almost a global event, an eclipse makes us appreciate just how small our planet really is.

We usually get fooled into thinking our planet is large - large enough that you think you can hide from anything. From people, from fate, from God - if only you found a place far enough away. So you run to the ends of the Earth where all is safe again - quiet and warm. You feel the calmness of crisp air. The luxury of freedom. And perhaps you start to think and believe that you've finally escaped...

Well, you can run far... You can take your small precautions, but have you really gotten away? Can you ever escape? Or is the truth that you do not have the power and wisdom to hide from fate? The world is not small, you are. And fate can find you anywhere. And when you finally pass on from this world to the next, and when God judges you, will you be able to face Him knowing that you've tried to escape His glory and love all your life?

You can never hide...

You've got to be honest.

You've got to be the only one.

You've got to be the one.

2009-01-26T11:08:00.001+08:00

美丽河山幸福地方
人成对成双
美满人生欢乐时光
大家喜洋洋

美满的人生欢乐的时光
我们都喜气洋洋
美丽的河山幸福的地方
等着你来欣赏
青青芳草欣欣正向荣
铺在大地上
丛丛鲜花散播着芳香
透进你的心房
嗨嗨爱苗正在生长
爱的人们成对成双
嗨嗨笑容挂在人人脸上
大家喜洋洋

美丽河山幸福地方
人成对成双
美满人生欢乐时光
大家喜洋洋
美满的人生欢乐的时光
我们都喜气洋洋
美丽的河山幸福的地方
等着你来欣赏
青青芳草欣欣正向荣
铺在大地上
丛丛鲜花散播着芳香
透进你的心房
嗨嗨爱苗正在生长
爱的人们成对成双
嗨嗨笑容挂在人人脸上
大家喜洋洋

青青芳草欣欣正向荣
铺在大地上
丛丛鲜花散播着芳香
透进你的心房
嗨嗨爱苗正在生长
爱的人们成对成双
嗨嗨笑容挂在人人脸上
大家喜洋洋

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A beautiful CNY song talking about everyone being jubilant and being happy and radiant. Yea. Really nice. Especially since Mr Ng Teck Seng sang it b4! Haha!

Sometimes I'll want to just "forget" myself and lose myself somewhere ...

Haha. That'll be great ...

But if forgetting myself means forgetting God and the people I love ...

I wouldn't want to ...

2009-01-24T18:25:00.002+08:00

Are you special?

you're too special

everybody believes and says you're special in every different ways and they love ya. keep it up!

Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests

Apparently my life has been focused on being special...

Sometimes, even if you wanna just be yourself and do nothing special, you're still special being yourself...

That's the irony of it all...

We're trapped in the never ending struggle of being special ...

There is a way to escape however ...

To devote all your life into God's hands...

To let Him take control...

Afterall, everyone is special to Him, and through Him, all things are possible...

2009-01-22T23:12:00.002+08:00

A Weeping Heart Consoled

My friend told me a story...a sad one...

Lemme briefly say it: He had a friend who made a mean msn comment about another friend and God asked my friend to tell his friend to "Love your neighbour as yourself", but my friend found it awkward and decided to tone it down but the Holy Spirit placed a guilty feeling in him to tell it. My friend tried running away from it, but the Holy Spirit again came back and my friend gave in and told his friend...He got scolded and friendship of a few years gone down the drain...

When he finished telling the story ... I felt a surge of emotions all hit me at one time ... I thought I was crying but it was my heart weeping...God asked me many things at once...I wont say, but basically He asked me if I were willing to do what my friend did - break up friendships for the love of doing God's will...

I wept cos I cant do it...

Then God put me through a series of tests which I wont say, but

It was amazing

He spoke to me...

Very very amazing...

One thing I will like to leave u all with - I asked God to allow me to listen to His voice. God does not magically suddenly give me special ears to listen to His voice...No...instead he moulds me and gives me an opportunity to learn to listen out for His voice.

If you all wanna know about the contents of the events in more detail, do feel free to ask me on msn!

2009-01-19T22:38:00.002+08:00

There was this story:

A guy who just passed away was given a chance to tour heaven and hell, and then decide where he wants to go.

He thought "hmm, since I'm more or less going to go to heaven already, lemme check out hell first!"

He went to hell and saw a few awesome looking women. When he was asked if he wanted to check heaven out, he said "NO! HELL IS FOR ME! I WANT THESE AWESOME BABES!"

And then he went to hell, all he saw was fire and brimstone

He asked "Where are the hot babes?"

And the devil replied "It's all a snare, the human mind is so easy to corrupt"...

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Finding the Right Purpose

If heaven had nothing...no beautiful mansion...no streets of gold and plentiful riches...if it had no fun...if it had nothing except God Himself...

Will you still wanna go to heaven?

Will this heaven appeal less to you than one with a big mansion, gold as streets and so much fun and laughter?

In my opinion, my purpose in going to haven is to be with my creator, the God who made me and moulded me into who I am and knows everything about me, right down to the number of atoms I have in my body.
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You know, it's very easy to believe and love God is everything is going well for you...

However, will a man serve God for nothing? Or will a man suffer to serve God?

My reply: How can suffering be considered suffering if it brings me closer to God :D

You may ask "But our human nature is fallen...we will still experience the pain, like Jesus did..."

Out of the 12 disciples, 11 of them died VERY painful deaths and John (who survived to write Revalation) got boiled in a pot of oil

Why could they still bear the suffering and serve God?

Because they knew they were dying for the truth?

Well, will you die for 1+1 = 2...which is the truth?

But they died for the LOVE of God...The LOVE that God shown them...we do NOT love 1 + 1 = 2, even though its the truth, thats why we wont die for it...But we know that God loves us and died for us, and we love Him for being such a great God...

And God is great, let me tell you all in another post!

2009-01-19T01:52:00.003+08:00

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'ma let it go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

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Lord I give my life to you...you are truly my redeemer...

In Your hands, I become the perfect tool to carry out Your word with Your strength.

2009-01-18T01:32:00.003+08:00

Sin Cycle

Do you find that we happen to fall for the same type of sin over and over again?

Do you happen to be the person who falls for common sins like impatience, anger, etc...then does something foolish...then asks God for forgiveness...only to repeat the sin again after a period of time?

Well, I'm like that...

As of late, I realise I get angry over simple things. Why do we get angry with people? Mainly because they don't do things the way we want them to do...Basically, it's human nature for us to be in control, and when we aren't in control, we get angry...

Anger is a form of selfishness. You think more of yourself and not others. It's putting yourself central in your life. When you put yourself central in your life, God does not have a place in your life, hence being angry drives God further from your heart.

Each time we get angry with someone, even if they wronged us, we must think back...and realise that we aren't obedient people...we disobey God's commands by sinning, and all this makes God angry, but He still loves us even though He hates the sin committed by us...

So what should we do? Each time we sin, we must immediately say sorry to God and tell Him that you wont repeat the same sin again. Even though humans are rather susceptible to sin, and we will most likely end up sinning again, we must get stronger and closer to God. We must put God central in our lives and grow towards Him.

You may say,"Hey, it's not that simple?"

Well, then we must rememebr to do onto others what you want others to do onto you...and likewise to not do onto others what you dont want others to do onto you...If you dont want others to keep telling you what to do...maybe you should check yourself first and ask if you've been doing the same to others...

And if someone makes us angry, we must tell him nicely and make compromises for everyone to be happy with each other. This is what God does too, each time we sin we make Him angry, but He usually tells us nicely and ... He sent His Son to DIE FOR US! That's the ultimate compromise made from God's part...to ensure that all of us can have eternal happiness with him...

To drive sin out from your life, you must make God central...

2009-01-16T22:11:00.004+08:00

God has a purpose in suffering

Generally, suffering is a time where you experience either physical or mental pain...

I would like to change that thinking a little bit. What is the purpose of our life? To me, it is to be closer to God, to know God better.

So why is there suffering? We humans have our infinite wants. When we don't get what we want, we suffer. So basically, suffering can be said to be when we don't get what we want.

God really has a purpose in suffering. when we don't get what we want, we will be drawn closer to Him.

I've been through something today and the past few weeks... I felt hurt by 2 of my good friends...

I wont talk about what happened anymore, there will be quite a bit to talk about I must say, but actions alone do not define what a person is. After all, I don't want to bring up the past. Initally I felt really hurt, and yes I also felt hurt over the past few weeks. Today, on the bus home, I prayed to God and asked Him,"why must I go through all this? I know I might have made jokes before which offended some people, but never on such a big scale"

God was speaking to me, I know, but my heart was really sad that I couldn't listen to His voice...

And then I got home, got onto msn. Minyang talked to me. It was enriching. It was as if God was using him as His mouthpiece to talk to me. I have to share this with you all...

Firstly, God has a purpose in suffering. In this case, for me experiencing this. He wants me to know what Jesus went through, which I learnt deeper earlier this week. You see, Jesus was the son of God, but people thought He was a dud and mocked Him and laughed at Him...and even crucified Him. Even His GOOD FRIEND Judas, who was close to Him, betrayed Him.

But guess what was Jesus' response to all the mockery? "Father forgive them, they don't know what they're doing." Why do you think Jesus asked God to forgive them? He loved them so much that He ddin't hold anything against them and still loved them.

And for us, we must become more and more like Jesus.

As we become more and more like Jesus, God will send things to mould us. Do you know the process of pruning? It's the cutting off of bad branches for the plant to grow more. Yup. God has to prune us to become more like Jesus, to remove the bad...but it will be painful...

Afterall, in Proverbs 27:17, As iron sharpens iron, so one mans sharpens another...

Iron sharpens iron through friction...pain...without the pain of pruning, how can we understand what Jesus has gone through? Without this incident, how can I be more like Jesus, forgiving them for they do not know what they did?

So I decided to pray for more guidance. Afterall, the Bible says in Matthew that "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted"

In Genesis 50:20, after Joseph was betrayed by his brothers and sold to Egpyt, he rose in favour with the Pharoah and got promoted to prime minister. Israel had a famine and Joseph's brothers (who betrayed him earlier) came to him for food. Joseph merely said "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives". Yea, what satan or people mean for harm, God intended it for good.

I prayed. After that I weent to use my handphone. My friend from my DOTA team had sent me a variety of really comforting messages (he's been trying to comfort me throughout the day). And then, I remebered the verse from the Bible where "If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also". After all, I know God loves me and will take care of me. He has blessed me with a great variety of good friends already...

And, Jesus loves the sinner but not the sin. Although I have been wronged, as a mini-Christ (Christian), even though I don't like the wrong that was being done, I should love them nonetheless, just as God loves me even when I have wronged. As far as I'm concerned, no matter what happens, they're still my friends.

So I decided to do something. It was difficult at first, but I dreamt I'll do it. As in, I had a dream that I did it but I didn't know how to interpret that dream. When Minyang told me to do it, I finally realised how to interpret the dream. I will not say what I did, but I will only say that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

My precognitive dreams alone seemed like miracles, and I was beginning to think that if God had the power to influence my dreams, surely other miracles are possible...which of course at least 5 happened today...

2 miracles - My misunderstandings with my friends have been settled.
1 miracle - I further realised how significant one particular friend from my DOTA team was
1 miracle - I have a great senior who helps to speak the Word of God to me
1 miracle - I got closer to God today

God is great. And when you see how God works miracles in your life, it truly becomes a great wonder!

2009-01-14T21:44:00.006+08:00

Bible and Human Physiology (Part 1 - How Did Jesus Die?)

Ok guys, take out a book on Biology and read up on ...

Breathing
Gas Exchange
Anatomy of elbow (Ulna, Radius)
Brain and behaviour
Heart
Blood

Look at Luke 22:39-44. Basically there's blood in Jesus' sweat.

Hmm...How will there be blood in His sweat? You wonder why...

Jesus knew He was going to die and suffer soon. He was in a period of great stress, hence the sympathetic nervous system got activated to send signals to the heart to beat faster. When the heart beats faster, there is increasing blood pressure. Now, you know capillaries are only one cell think...And when blood of high pressure goes through them, they burst. From anatomy, you'll know that capillaries are in very close proximity to the sweat glands, thus the blood may mix with the sweat. Hence, blood in the sweat.

Now, you may all ask,"Hey, isnt Jesus God? Why will He get stressed?". Lemme tell you that when Jesus came down to earth to live amongst us, he is subject to the same conditions our human body goes through. Yes, including the way the nervous system works. If you found out ur gonna die tomorrow, you'll feel stressed too right?

Anyway, we have felt stress before, but not of that level. Have you ever felt so stressed that blood came out with your sweat? Remember that God has gone through more stress than us. We should be able to handle all stress that comes our way.

Now lets go onto "How did Jesus suffer?" and "What led to His death?"

You know, people usually take 40 floggings before they die. Jesus got 40 - 1 floggings. Nowadays we have the rotan, but ever heard of the cat with 9 tails? Go search it on the net.

Imagine how much damage it does, each time skin and flesh gets pulled off with every stroke on the back. Now, the spine has nerve fibres lined there. If someone hits your back really hard, it already hurts. Imagine the cat with 9 tails hitting the nerve fibres directly. Ouch.

Next, there was a crown of thorns forced onto Jesus' head. The thorns pierced through the skull and into the cerebral cortex. Yes, the cerebral cortex is the part of the brain that receives and processes information from the senses, including pain. Imagine if hitting nerve fibres arent enough, you get your main pain receptor being poked. Double ouch.

Now Jesus had to carry a cross on His back. Now, do you think it's some polished nice metallic cross? No...it's a wooden cross with lots of splinters...and the cross is placed on His back. And His back was already literally torn apart by the flogging. Oh, and He had to carry the cross up a hill too...and each step He walks up, the cross will slide a bit, adding more hurt onto the back. Owww...

When Jesus was crucified, the nails were pierced in between the ulna and the radius...as well as onto the feet. The brunt of Jesus' weight rested on the nails pierced in between the ulna and the radius, and he was hanging from there. Do you know the process of breathing? External intercostal muscles contract and internal intercostal muscles relax to shift the rib cage up while the diaghragm moves downwards for air to come in? Yea basically you sort of have to shift your shoulders up too...Ever tried breathing while you hold onto a pull up bar for a long time? Ever tried breathing while jumping? It does get tiring after a while. Each time Jesus had to breathe, he had to push himself up using his legs, causing the nails on the feet to press against the wound. He was more or less doing pull ups using the nails pierced in between the ulna and the radius. It's a slow death where people just suffocate to death, they usually die after 72 hours...

But Jesus died in about 6 hours. WHY? He was a carpenter when He was young, so I suppose He should be pretty healthy. Since He was the Son of God, He mustve probably knew how to take care of His body. So He should be fitter than the average man. But why?

Notice the last words He said was "My God, why did you forsake me?".

That was when all the sins of the world were being transferred to Jesus. God is holy and could not look at Jesus anymore.

Have you heard of people dying of grief after their loved ones have died? Same here. Jesus did NOT die of physical pain, but of grief. Imagine, the Father and the Son were together since the beginning of time and before. Imagine the pain felt by Jesus...

Now the soldiers decided to hasten the process of death, so they went to break the legs of those being crucified. This means they could not use their legs to help push themselves up to breathe. So they die...

And when Jesus' leg got pierced...blood and water came out...Why blood and water?

Remember the constituents of blood - Red blood cells, white blood cells, platelets, plasma, etc...

When someone dies, heart stops beating, blood stops being transported around, heavier particles sediment at the bottom while lighter particles stay at the top. That means all the red blood cells will be sedimented at the bottom...by gravity, the red blood cells will all move down to the lower parts of the body...so yea, blood and water came out when Jesus' side was pierced...Scientifically accurate...

Amazing, how someone will go through all that to die for those who disobeyed...

We truly have an amazing God!

2009-01-11T19:30:00.003+08:00

Pride

Ever wondered why Satan hasn't waved the white flag yet? Even though he knows that he's going against an all-powerful God who can just turn him into nothing with just a mere thought? It's pride.

Yes, pride blinds all of us. In doing my ToK essay today on the topic of "We see and understand things not as they are but as we are", I realised that pride leads us further down that way. Pride blinds us to only seeing things from our own perspective and not God's perspective. Pride does not allow us to see objective truth.

Think about this, will you bite the hand that feeds you? Apparently, many of us do it. Look around us now, a lot of successful people have so much pride that they think they can do without God or religion. Think about it, who gives us the success in the first place? God!

When we do that, we are actuallyy behaving like the devil. When we refuse to acknowledge God for our successes, we are going against him.

Yes, that is where pride leads us.

Allow me to quote a particular website (http://www.believers.org/believe/bel147.htm), which quoted from the New King James Bible.

God Hates Pride

God hates pride because He loves people -- and pride prevents people from receiving help from God.

PROVERBS 8:13 NKJ
13 The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverse mouth I hate.

AMOS 6:8 NKJ
8 The Lord God has sworn by Himself, the Lord God of hosts says: "I abhor the pride of Jacob, and hate his palaces; therefore I will deliver up the city and all that is in it."

Pride Is The Root Of All Sin

Pride is the most serious, and the most subtle, sin. It often is not even recognized as existing.

Pride is the root of all sin. It causes us to turn away from God instead of turning to Him. All disobedience has pride as its root. All rebellion has pride behind it. All mistreatment of other people is caused by pride: someone putting their self and their feelings above the other person and their feelings.

Pride Is Evil

MARK 7:20-23 NKJ
20 And He said, "What comes out of a man, that defiles a man.
21 "For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders,
22 "thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness.
23 "All these evil things come from within and defile a man."

1 JOHN 2:16 NKJ
16 For all that is in the world -- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life -- is not of the Father but is of the world.

The world system promotes people who are proud, and often gives them great riches. God says pride is evil and defiles a man.

Pride Prevents People Receiving

PSALM 10:4 NKJ
4 The wicked in his proud countenance does not seek God; God is in none of his thoughts.

Pride causes people to go their own way instead of God's way. Pride makes you think you do not need God's advice or help.

JAMES 4:6 NKJ
6 . . ."God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble."

Only by faith in God can we receive God's blessings. Pride is faith in yourself. Faith in God is not faith in yourself.

Pride Causes People Trouble

PROVERBS 11:2 NKJ
2 When pride comes, then comes shame; but with the humble is wisdom.

PROVERBS 16:18-19 NKJ
18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
19 Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.

PROVERBS 29:23 NKJ
23 A man's pride will bring him low, but the humble in spirit will retain honor.

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Ok I think by now you all should know that God hates pride. So how do you know if you are proud-hearted?

Allow me to quote the same website:

Manifestations Of Pride

* Neglecting The Bible & Prayer

You may think you do not read the Bible more because you are so busy. The root problem is pride: you think you can make it without God's Word. Those who neglect prayer have the same root problem -- they think they can make it without God.

Pride and prayer are inverse. A proud person does not pray much, and a praying person is not bothered much with pride.

* Inability To Admit You Are Wrong

A proud person blames someone else -- the fault is never theirs! And, they refuse to admit anything they are doing could be a failure.

* Not Submitting To Authority

1 PETER 5:5 NKJ
5 Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble."

A proud person thinks they should do things their way, instead of going by what anyone else has to say.

* Know-it-all Attitude

1 CORINTHIANS 8:2 NKJ
2 And if anyone thinks that he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know.

* Not Acting On God's Word

If we do not act on God's Word we are acting on the word of someone else, thereby placing ourselves above God.

An example of this is people who do not worship God with their tithe, and who neglect giving. While they may think they cannot afford it, their root problem is pride: thinking they can make it on their own.

* Criticizing Others

Anyone who criticizes another person considers they are superior to that person. They also think they are qualified to judge another human being (which they are not).

* Thinking You Are Better Than Others

You are not better than anyone -- just different in some ways. True, you may be superior to some people in some ways, but every one of them is superior to you in at least one way. Every one of them knows something you do not. And, there are many people superior to you in many ways.

1 CORINTHIANS 4:7 NKJ
7 For who makes you differ from another? And what do you have that you did not receive? Now if you did indeed receive it, why do you glory as if you had not received it?

* Being Overly Busy

Being overly busy can be a manifestation of being proud. Some people think they have to do everything themselves because no one else could do it as well -- that is pride -- and can certainly keep someone very busy. Continual busyness -- even in the ministry -- is usually a sign of pride.

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Again, I would quote the same website as to what causes pride

What Causes Pride?

These things invite, bring, or produce pride. But we do not have to receive it!

* Knowledge.

1 CORINTHIANS 8:1 NKJ
1 Now concerning things offered to idols: We know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies.

* Natural attributes: beauty, intelligence, talent.

EZEKIEL 28:17 NKJ
17 "Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty; you corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor; I cast you to the ground, I laid you before kings, that they might gaze at you.

* Prosperity or successful accomplishment.

1 TIMOTHY 6:17 NKJ
17 Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy.

* Spiritual power: supernatural miracles.

When God's power flows through you ministering to others, or God gives mighty answers to your prayers -- remember God is the Great One -- not you.

* Inexperience.

1 TIMOTHY 3:6 NKJ
6 not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil.

Pride is associated with being a novice. This implies that with experience people should be less susceptible to pride. It further implies people will fail a lot -- what else but failure could cure us of pride?

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So guys, are you guilty of being proud hearted?

Not to worry, it is never too late to repent.

Accept Jesus as your saviour and He will make miracles in your life happen. Follow His word and you will become a better person as you journey closer to God.

2009-01-10T21:09:00.003+08:00

5 Loaves of Bread and 2 Fish

Can you feed a group of about 5000 with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish?

Maybe you could feed a family of 5? If everyone takes 1 loaf of bread and a few slices of fish, it would be possible.

Jesus managed to feed 5000 with that small amount. Yes! He did! And don't forget, these people haven't had anything to eat for 3 days already. Surely they must be hungry. Under normal circumstances, 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish wouldn't even be able to feed 5 hungry and starving people.

HOWEVER...These aren't normal circumstances! This is a miracle of Christ. You must surely think he's some David Copperfield! BUT, David Copperfield can only make illusions look real, I doubt he can feed a group of 5000 people.

And even more amazingly, after the 5000 have finished eating, the disciples could pick up 12 basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. Amazing!

What is worth noting is that sometimes we find that we have so little of something, be it food, money or maybe even something closer to home like time! But with God, He makes it special by making it sufficient for us, and eventually we find that we have it in excess! Yes, it only happens if you put your faith in God.

Another thing worth mentioning is sharing. God loves a cheerful giver. Even if you have very little of something, if you find that you share it cheerfully, you'll find the result very rewarding. Why not try it?

Bbeing an IB student trying to meet deadlines, I'm making these blog posts for the love of sharing God's word with everyone else. If people read it, and realise the amazing miracles of God, it is rewarding for me to have been able to spread God's word. Even if people don't read this, I find that being enlightened by finding deeper meanings of the Bible very satisfying.

I would like to leave with a message:

On our own, we may find that we lack something or have only a very little bit of it.
With God, He makes the little amount count for something by means of miracles.

Make everything count for something!

UPDATE:

I realised I forgot to mention the boy who gave his 5 loaves and 2 fish to Jesus. He had faith in Jesus and gave his ALL (The food was his dinner). Yes, he knew he was giving food to the Son of God and not some conman. He did not know what Jesus was going to do, but had simple innocent faith in Jesus who could work miracles with anything. This was the catalyst of Jesus' miracle. The boy did NOT get short changed. He increased in spiritual faith, helped feed 5000 people, had this small but significant action recorded in the gospel, what more, with 12 baskets of leftovers, the boy could have brought it all back!

Give whatever little you have to Jesus, and you will be rewarded tremendously! Try it!

2009-01-10T17:44:00.003+08:00

Proving the Resurrection

A friend of mine wrote a thesis on proving the resurrection. You can download the file here.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=batch_download&batch_id=WnBSeVdqaytCSWZIRGc9PQ

I find this to be an excellent piece of work, with the references cited clearly. The points flow in such a way which proves the point that Christ's Resurrection is REAL!

Yes, some of you may say "hey, isn't he using the Bible to prove the Bible claim?"...However, the Bible has been proven time and time again to be real. I've already shown to you all how scientifically accurate the Bible is, and I will show you all in later posts that the Bible is real.

One of the points worth mentioning will be the conviction of the disciples. Their faith being so strong that they would even die for what they believe in. People may say "oh my gosh those guys are crazy...they must be lying!". It would've been very easy for Peter to deny Christ again like he did 3 times before. All 11 of the 12 disciples were killed for what they believed in. Now, do you think they're lying? If they were lying about Jesus being resurrected, they would've immediately said "Oh I was just joking!", but no!

Do note that when Peter was about to be crucified, he told the authorities that he was not worthy to die the way that Christ did, and so was crucified upside down. You see, he had so much faith in Jesus that his mind could be on bringing glory to God rather than escaping. If the resurrection was not real, do you think Peter could be able to do that?

Further implications of this: If the disciples died for something they believe in, then what about us? Will you be able to suffer the trials and tribulations of being a Christian for believing in the truth, let alone die for it? Think about it!

And my answer is an obvious yes! For those of you who know, something so small as to making this blog public may be very risky for me! I'm very sure that there is nothing wrong with this blog, but the world always remembers the small little bad things, and will seek to persecute us for it. However, this is all worth spreading the Word of God to everyone.

To God be the glory!

2009-01-06T22:06:00.006+08:00

So Real

Allow me to convince you the Bible is real!

One reason why people think the bible isn't real is because it is not scientifically credible...

Really? Firstly, if God is the ruler of the whole universe, and that He had created it, then surely He must know all of its laws of science.

Alright...When do you think people discovered that the Earth is round? It was first suggested by Pythagoras in about 570 BC. It was generaly accepted in modern times when satellites went up into space to take pictures of the Earth. Even during Christopher Columbus' time in about year 1400+, sailors were afraid of sailing to the ends of the Earth with fear of falling off the "flat dish". However, turn to Isaiah 40:22 of the bible. There's a part of the verse which says "He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth". Now, when was the book of Isaiah written in? 760 BC. This was before Pythagoras first suggested it, and way before Christopher Columbus' time. Hmm, perhaps if sailors actually read the bible, they won't be afraid of falling off the flat dish eh?

Also, when do you think that people realised that there was a Universe and it's almost infinite extent? I'm pretty sure that the Ancient Greek astronomers first suggested it (I'm not entirely sure when), and perhaps it became more generally accepted when Einstein did his experiments. Now, again in the book of Isaiah, 55:9, "As the heavens are higher than the earth". It'll seem like a pretty obvious fact now, but consider the level of science and technology of men then...Not yet convinced eh?

Ok, when do you think people discovered the Earth hung in space? When Galileo did his experiments I believe? He lived from about 1564 - 1642. Now look at the Book of Job, written in 1655 BC. Look at 26:7, "He spreads out the northern skies over empty space; he suspends the earth over nothing". Ok. Not many people knew there was something called space.

Check out the Law of Increasing Entropy. Entropy is basically a measure of disorder. Ok lets apply the Law of Increasing Entropy in layman terms and it basically says that disorder in a system not in equilibrium will increase until it wastes away. Yes, thats why in physics, entropy is also known as the measure of a system's unavailability of energy to do work. The law of increasing entropy was suggested by some French scientist in 1800. Take a look at Psalms, which started being written in 1100 BC. Psalms 102:25-27 reads "In the beginning you laid the foundations of the earth and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you remain; they will all wear out like a garment. Like clothing you will change them and they will be discarded. But you remain the same, and your years will never end."

Haha, and who said the bible was not scientifically credible? I think the mysteries of science could possibly lie in the bible.

Now lets apply the federal rules of evidence : Innocent until proven guilty.

I have my evidence that the bible is scientifically credible. Now unless evidence is shown that it is not scientifcally credible, then I can safely say that it is.

Next post : Proving the Resurrection of Jesus Christ!

Note : All dates taken from http://www.wordsight.org/btl/000_btl-fp.htm

2009-01-06T22:00:00.004+08:00

Se7en

I've managed to get a 7 for Chinese!

I've gained 3 hrs a week!

Yay!

2009-01-05T23:09:00.005+08:00

6

The day that God created Man
The atomic number of carbon

7

The neutral pH value between acidity and akalinity
The atomic number of nitrogen
Number of periods on the periodic table
All mammal's necks have 7 bones (mostly)
The number of days of Creation

7 is a great number
6...not so...

I want a 7!

Ultimately, if it is God's will, a 6 will do fine and I will try harder this year...

2009-01-05T22:55:00.004+08:00

My Heroes Ability

If I had one power (not counting empathic mimicry or intuitive aptitude), I'd want Hiro Nakamura's time travelling ability...

Space-time Manipulation...

So many things I want to redo...
So many things I want to preiew...

But hey, we all have a power right now...

It's called Present Manipulation...

It's a power that God gave to all of us, to choose to make our lives right... To live life anew for Him...

With this ability, the past doesn't matter, because once you've begun life anew for God, your past is truly history. The future wouldn't matter either, for God will provide if you live your life according to his standards.

So even though time travelling might be interesting, we don't need it for we already have God on our side.

I must say I'm currently facing many problems now (most of which were brought upon myself by myself), but through the use of the ability of Present Manipulation given to me by God, I can set things straight.

Carpe Diem : Seize the Day!

2009-01-05T01:16:00.003+08:00

The Volcano

Tranquil danger
Mysterious
Pressure builds up like a swarm of ants
Don't disturb the mountain
You may tread on it
You may use the loose rocks
But as inevitable as the Earth moves
The swarm causes the volcano to blow
Total destruction
Desolate wasteland
In all the death,
Volcanic soil brings hope
For life to begin anew

Kumo Raikkonen (2009)

2009-01-05T01:09:00.004+08:00

3

There seems to be 3 types of people I know. Those who know about my Invisible Load(s) and try to empathise, those who don't know about my Invisible Load(s) but try to be nice, and those who don't know and don't care!

Isn't it obvious as to which category I despise?

2009-01-03T02:07:00.000+08:00

Invisible Load

Currently working on this poem right now. Will be back!

2009-01-03T01:12:00.002+08:00

Plants

My friend,
Green as a leaf you are
Green in excess
Green you reflect
I did not return

Through fire and through ice
I stuck with you
In the night and day
I didn't mind both
You needed your light

Your roots go deep
Into the wrong soil
Good water I gave you
Sweet and Sour fruits you produced
All chosen by random

Shifted you to my garden
Deprived them of a clear nutrient supply
Only so you will grow
That care, you never return
I'm never green

Defects I see
are all taken care of
Defects you see
Are neglected and taken advantage of
I forgive, but can never forget

I keep you
For the sake of tasting sweetness
But every tree must get chopped down
After producing bad fruit
For others must take its place

Kumo Raikkonen (2009)

2009-01-02T00:22:00.002+08:00

The Journey of a Thousand Miles (Possibly More)

... Begins with a single step ...

May I start?

When?

Later ...

Tomorrow ...

Never ...

Well, that was before, but for now, I want to be able to tell myself :

Now's a good time!

Time to get my act together now!

And remember, do Follow Me!

2009-01-01T15:10:00.004+08:00

Follow Me

Follow me
Darkness comes
Only stars will follow
While invisible in broad daylight

Follow me
Tracks are shown
Though some may lead astray
Will you follow me into the edge?

Follow me
Right outside
Will you journey to
A clear and present danger

Follow me
Up the mountainous slopes
Down the steep gradient of the valley
Through the blistering hot fires of tranquil burning forests

I wont follow me
Stars - amazing and special
They defy all logic and go by emotion
Thank you for all those who are made up of stars

Kumo Raikkonen (2009)

Happy New Year everyone! Yea that was a short poem which i composed while waiting for my friends to DOTA with me. Actually, it's not really a poem, it's actually the shortest summary of my life's experiences this year ... Yes ... It hides so many things ... Maybe one day I could explain this poem (For example : Having 5 stanzas with one stanza being the odd one out in terms of the first line, hmmm ... my DOTA team could probably guess!) ... but next time ... when I feel happy enough ...

2008-12-31T11:26:00.003+08:00

Home Alone Over

From December 26th to December 30th, I was home alone ...

I put my cooking skills to the test and here they are...

Breakfast was mainly skipped BECAUSE I CANT WAKE UP EARLY ENOUGH...

Lunch, usually went out...

Dinner, I was eating leftovers from a Christmas Party...

Oh yea, I bought a new guitar too!

It's an IBANEZ PF60CE-NT...an accoustic plug in!

Seems amazing...

Lol ok thats all I should talk about now...

Ciaoz!

2008-12-30T01:33:00.006+08:00

The Second Coming

My dear friends and family, I checked out my senior's blog. This looked so real!

I want to share the word of God with everyone of you. You may rest assured that I will not suddenly go "Just kidding!". I want all of you to be able to believe in my God.

YOU HAVE GOT TO SEE THIS:
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Yes, I am desperate. Truly desperate for you to come to know the Lord. He is coming, very shortly. Please, you have to believe in me. Here's why.

When I was coming back from Orchard Road, I read my Bible in the bus. For some reason, I had a strong urge to read the Old Testament. When I reached Zephaniah, the Lord made me tarry at Zephaniah 2.

Sometime after I got home, I looked at Yahoo News (www.yahoo.com.sg) and saw this:

I was rudely shocked. I told Shaun (one of my guys whom I mentor) and he showed me the 2nd news below.

If you can't see what it says: Medium-range rocket fired at Ashkelon. First person to be killed by a rocket in Ashkelon. Hamas missles struck for the first time near city of Ashdod.

I was rudely reminded of Zephaniah 2:4 It reads: Gaza and Ashkelon will be abandoned, Ashdod and Ekron torn down.

Prophecy on its way to being fulfilled. Still think the Bible is not real?

Jesus is coming really soon. If you want to accept Him as your Lord and Saviour, pray this prayer with me: Lord, I am a sinner. I know you are coming back soon. I believe that You died for my sins and rose from the dead and you are sitting at the right hand of God. Thank you for making me Your child. I love you because You first loved me. In Jesus name I pray, may it be so"

If you have prayed this prayer, do leave a tag on my blog or drop me an email at chowminyang@gmail.com and I will contact you. To you Christians out there, pass this on.

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I had a dream the other night which I told some of my guys I am mentoring as well as my beloved girlfriend. I was standing on a familiar pavement and I received an sms which read: "Asian markets crashed. Common Asian currency forged at APEC summit." I did not know what APEC stood for when I had the dream, but when I checked out the meaning of the acronym, I got a shock of my life.

I believe the dream was from God. I'll leave this here and we'll see what happens in the future.

When you see all the Christians on earth disappear, you'll know that the end is coming very very soon. (7 years in fact)

Source : http://chowzy.blogspot.com/2008/12/please-believe-me.html

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I would truly like each and everyone of my friends and family to know God. You have got to know God! I believe He is coming soon...

When Jesus comes again, would you be able to be able to say "God, I am glad that I have done you proud!"

Will you be able to get a reply "Well done, my good and faithful servant"

Will you? I'm not sure if I will. But I want to be sure. I want to spread the word of God to as many people as possible.

Because I love each and everyone of my friends and family and I want to be together with them in Christ.

I know, I know, I'll probably get ridiculed and blasted for this. Afterall, I might sound like a crazy lunatic to many.

But, if people call me a crazy lunatic for sharing God's word, I am proud to be called a crazy lunatic!

Afterall, the Bible also predicted this will happen as a life of a Christian (Matthew 5-11) : "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and bel glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they perrsecuted the prophets who were before you."

Oh, let me tell you all something I found out today.

Bible : Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth...

Anyway. if you all want to know more about Jesus, do drop me an email : seanjklee@hotmail.com

Do give it some thought. You HAVE the right to know God's word!