A brief update...

A brief update about my screwed life now.

Things are going very bad...

Last week, results were out...i didnt fail anything cept chemistry...ok dat was sort of a good start.

However, once i calculated my overall, i failed both chem and physics (I GOT 49!!)...LOLZ...that means CON CAMP.

Even worse...im made to drop chemistry by the school (on whose order i wonder...)...Some say,"drop lar then just go day camp..." Others say,"its just a stupid subject, wads so bad about dropping it..."...

Well...its more than just a subject to me...it means alot to me...those of you who know me well would know wad im talking about...

So even if i hang on to chemistry, it'll mean con camp...Well at least thats better than dropping it...

Now for con camp, it starts from 8am and ends at 9+pm...and next week, theres an end of year camp which ive been really looking forward to going for MONTHS but i find out that i JUST CANT ALREADY...its such a screwed feeling...to be staring at something you are really looking forward to right at the face but it has become something completely out of your grasp...

Some would say "but if you had studied harder, you could have avoided being in that position"...Well, I already tried my friggin best studying as soon as i got back from school till around 3am...with only 3 hrs of sleep...Wad more can you ask for?
Please understand, I have improved alot in many subjects with that kind of studying (from 6 failures in mid year to only 1 failure), so dont come tell me that i didnt study enough, you may come tell me that i didnt study SMARTLY...but please dun tell me that i didnt study enough...

And you know what? If 2 weeks of concentration camp from morning to night isnt bad enough, i really got more than what i bargained for...I get humiliated by heartless people who keep giving comments lyk "haha, ur a failure", "haha you con camper", "haha who ask you not to study hard enough", "you noob i owned you", "haha I'll be enjoying myself while ur suffering out there"

Worst comment i got was "haha you cant go to your end of the year camp cos of your CON CAMP! Thats your punishment for not studying enough!" I really felt like punching that person, killing him, which i so easily can...But i know that by doing so, i would become no different from the heartless person he was.

However, i must thank the people who have supported me throughout this time and been there to comfort me all this while, I really appreciate it, no matter how little (better than nothing, or at least better than those heartless people out there) or how much...Thank you all...I really hope that this would be my last time posting like this...

I wonder, when would this humiliation end?...I dunno...Im really going through a lot of mental suffering now...I really begin to wonder if this is really God's will for me...I really begin to wonder why God is allowing me to go through so much torment...Even worse, why does God allow such people to carry such bad character?

I sometimes cant help but think, is God even watching over me?

Father, if you are really out there, please may your rod comfort me.
For others who are going through the same ordeal as i am, do be their shepherd and guide them.
For those people who still continue to put others down, i pray that you forgive them for they do not know what they are doing and do be a light of truth for them.