A fine young man he was...

How time flies...

Eh I looked dam cute right? LOLz!

My Motivational Behavior

Behavioral Approach	90
Drive	75
Fun Seeking	92
Reward Responsiveness	100
Behavioral Inhibition	67
Avoidance	67

You are a very driven and motivated person, with a positive outlook towards completing tasks. You work hard and play hard and are very responsive to positive motivation.You have a very strong drive to complete tasks that you have set yourself, or that others have set for you. You actively seek out activities that will make you happy, including parties, hanging out with family and friends or even thrill seeking through sports etc... You also tend to be fairly impulsive. You are very motivated by seeking reward for your behaviour. The offer of a reward (such as a promotion for working hard or winning a bet) will keep you motivated to complete difficult activities. Your major motivation is to avoid things that you don't like. This can mean organising your life to avoid activities you don't enjoy, or to escape punishment or pain. You can also tend to be a fairly nervous person.

My Personality

Neuroticism	88
Extraversion	86
Openness to Experience	53
Agreeableness	69
Conscientiousness	58

Mostly your emotions are on an even keel and you do not get depressed easily, however you experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. You are an active group participant but usually prefer to let someone else be the group leader. You prefer familiar routines and for things to stay the same. You can tend to feel uncomfortable with change. You find helping other people genuinely rewarding and are generally willing to assist those who are in need. You find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice, however you are not adverse to confrontation and will sometimes even intimidate others to get your own way. You have a strong sense of duty and obligation, and feel a moral obligation to do the right thing. Neuroticism explanation | back to top Overall Score 88 Anxiety 92 Anger 74 Depression 54 Self-Consciousness 65 Immoderation 75 Vulnerability 99 You feel tense, jittery, and nervous and often feel like something dangerous is about to happen. You may be afraid of specific situations or be just generally fearful. You feel enraged when things do not go your way. You are sensitive about being treated fairly and feel resentful and bitter if you think you are being cheated. Mostly your emotions are on an even keel and you do not get depressed easily. You are not generally self conscious about yourself. You feel strong cravings and urges that you have difficulty resisting. You tend to prefer short-term pleasures and rewards over long-term consequences. You experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. Extraversion explanation | back to top Overall Score 86 Friendliness 79 Gregariousness 92 Assertiveness 49 Activity Level 86 Excitement-Seeking 74 Cheerfulness 74 You genuinely like other people and openly demonstrate positive feelings toward others. You make friends quickly and it is easy for you to form close, intimate relationships. You find the company of others pleasantly stimulating and rewarding, and you enjoy the excitement that crowds provide. You are an active group participant but usually prefer to let someone else be the group leader. You lead a fast-paced and busy life. You move about quickly, energetically, and vigorously and are involved in many activities. You love bright lights and hustle and bustle. You are likely to take risks and seek thrills. You experience a range of positive feelings, including happiness, enthusiasm, optimism, and joy. Openness to Experience explanation | back to top Overall Score 53 Imagination 77 Artistic Interests 72 Emotionality 66 Adventurousness 5 Intellect 35 Liberalism 63 Often you find the real world is too plain and ordinary for your liking, and you use fantasy as a way of creating a richer, more interesting world for yourself. You love beauty, both in art and in nature. Sometimes you become easily involved and absorbed in artistic and natural events. Generally you are not considered to be an emotional person, however you are aware of and in touch with your emotions. You prefer familiar routines and for things to stay the same. You can tend to feel uncomfortable with change. You enjoy a certain amount of debate or intellectual thought, but sometimes get bored with too much. You like the security of tradition, but sometimes have a desire to bend the rules and challenge conventional thinking. Agreeableness explanation | back to top Overall Score 69 Trust 76 Morality 62 Altruism 87 Cooperation 27 Modesty 50 Sympathy 80 You naturally assume that most people are fair, honest, and have good intentions. There are times when you believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary, however you are mostly candid, frank and sincere. People find it moderately easy to relate to you. You find helping other people genuinely rewarding and are generally willing to assist those who are in need. You find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice. You are not adverse to confrontation and will sometimes even intimidate others to get your own way. You are willing to take credit for good things that you do but you don't often talk yourself up much. You are tenderhearted and compassionate, feeling the pain of others vicariously and are easily moved to pity. Conscientiousness explanation | back to top Overall Score 58 Self-Efficacy 60 Orderliness 50 Dutifulness 82 Achievement-Striving 73 Self-Discipline 68 Cautiousness 17 You are moderately confident that you can achieve the goals you set yourself. You are a reasonably organized person and like to have a certain amount of routine in your life. You have a strong sense of duty and obligation, and feel a moral obligation to do the right thing. You strive hard to achieve excellence. Your drive to be recognized as successful keeps you on track toward your lofty goals. You often have a strong sense of direction in life, but may sometimes be too single-minded and obsessed with your work. You have strong will-power and are able to overcome your reluctance to begin tasks. You are able to stay on track despite distractions. You often say or do the first thing that comes to mind without deliberating alternatives and the probable consequences of those alternatives.

Michael Schumacher vs. Felipe Massa

MS: Joined Ferrari in 1996. Good start, took a few wins.
FM: Joined Ferrari in 2006. Good start, took a few wins.

MS: Picked up pace in 1997, won more races.
FM: Picked up pace in 2007, won more races.

MS: Lost championship at final round to McLaren.
FM: Lost championship at final round to McLaren.

MS: Broke leg halfway through 1999, missed most of rest of the season.
FM: Injured in crash halfway through 2009, missed rest of the season.

If the trend continues, Felipe should in theory win it in 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013 and 2014

Source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/606/A58344618

Name: Sean Lee
Date: 10/9/2009
Colorgenics Number: 14325607

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You are seeking an affectionate relationship, offering fulfilment and happiness. You are capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Deep down, you are a kind loving person, always helpful and willing to adapt yourself if necessary to realise the bond of affection that you desire. But you need the same consideration and understanding from others and it is this need that will sometimes hold you back... so let go, trust and you may pleasantly surprised at what happens.

You are a leader in every sense of the word. You know where you are going and you know what you need to do in order to get there. You exercise an inherent initiative in overcoming obstacles and difficulties. You either hold, or wish to achieve, a position of authority by means of which full control can be exerted over events.

Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the 'you' that you would like to be - give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

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What a great change from a few days ago. Yea I want an affectionate relationship! :)

Analysis of Results

Yet another case of underperforming.

Do I honestly think that my score is satisfying?

No. To be performing below your expectations when you think (or know) you have a largely untapped potential...the feeling is really indescribable...it's sad (then again, it's better than not having any potential haha, but I'm sure no one falls under that category anywayz).

Granted I was sick during Math Paper 2, and so I couldn't really keep my head straight. Granted I didn't get the most lenient of markers for Chem, Econs...especially Englissh...

Nonetheless, I didn't do as well as I could have. I fell short of my targetted prelim score of 35 (which I still think is my REAL score...but maybe I'm just being delusional haha).

But...my score is currently not too bad. If that's God's will then so be it. At least I know what to work on now.

Bio, Chem and Econs will give me my 7s for IB.

I'll have to work on Math. It'll take a huge miracle to do a big jump to a 7.

English...well time to re read the texts and yea another huge miracle to give me a 7 (and lots of luck)

So yea, for my main papers I have to jump my grades from 31 to 42. Gosh. Can it be done?

I hope so. In that, I hope to emulate my O' level year (I pray that I will not choke at the end) where I vaulted myself from being a total failure to being one of the front runners. Well this should be easier, vaulting myself from midfield to being a frontrunner...yea...should be...honestly I'm not getting as much support as I had in my O level year though, but nonetheless I'm satisfied with the amount of support I'm getting now.

After today, no more messing around.

Forget silencing all the critics. I wanna bring glory to God's name, by showing the world that even an underachiever like me can get top grades by the Spirit of God.

Wish me Godspeed.

God willing, I'll make the breakthrough.

and I still remember God's promise "Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." (Proverbs 16:3)

So Lord, I'll work hard starting tomorrow. I'm not going to be messing around anymore. I'll put in my 110%. Grant me a top grade, ideally 45, because I know You can work miracles in an underachiever like me, as I seek to glorify Your name. Because, I can work all I want, and it is only through You that these grades can come in. By Your power and mercy, and not my work, though I will do my part. So Lord, hear my humble prayer for Your help. Because really, I know You can work miracles in me, and I seek to show the world how amazing You are.

Nonetheless, Your will, not mine.

Colourgenics (In advance)

A lot of change has been happening in my life lately, therefore a colourgenics test is done in advance to show the distinct contrast between now and about less than a fortnight ago.

Name: Sean Lee
Date: 10/6/2009
Colorgenics Number: 72150346

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You are trying desperately to prove yourself. You are going at it hammer and tongs in order to get your own way. You oppose any sort of restriction or opposition to your own point of view in the belief that this could prove you how self determined you are.

You are a very warm and emotional individual but unfortunately in the past too many people have taken advantage of this sensitive trait. You need aesthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm understanding.

You feel tired - worn out and listless. The last thing that you want to do is to be in an open conflict with those around you that are forever tormenting you. What to do? That's the rub. You are feeling that you are being choked - unable to breathe.

You are pretending that the situation around you doesn't matter, but the effort of trying to conceal your emotions and anxieties is resulting in untold stress. The existing situation is disagreeable. You feel unwanted and lonely and you would really like to associate with someone whose ideals are as high as your own. You want to be above the standard of mediocrity and this need to be needed and that need to need has almost become an obsession. You are trying to magnify the need into a compelling urge. You would really like to tell the world how great you are but no, you are holding back because you feel that your peers may treat you with contempt. This is a great pity because you have in fact a unique quality of character, but the continual restraint that you impose on yourself makes you suppress this need for others and you pretend you don't really care. You treat those who criticise you with contempt. However, to be honest, beneath this assumption of indifference you really long for the approval and esteem of others.

The need for admiration and to be regarded as 'someone special' is perhaps one of the foremost aims in your life at this time. You would like to perhaps do something outrageous or anything that will give you the chance to be recognised as someone special. This desire has now almost become an obsession and in your own way you are trying to fulfil this 'complex' by ensuring you are the centre of attention, both at work or play, or in the home. Stop trying so hard and you will find that people will like you for who you are - not for who you are pretending to be.

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Based on observations in this week (and last weekend), I probably agree with everything except "Stop trying so hard and you will find that people will like you for who you are - not for who you are pretending to be."

I don't know why, but apparently even all types of aged wine (If you've read my posts, you'd likely get an idea) probably can't accept me for who I am.

So there it goes. I hope this changes soon. I don't want to keep feeling in this mood. Sometimes I wish that I can be special even without trying...

Wine tastes better as it ages, and yet...when the aging process isn't done right...

It becomes sour.

I taste the wine, I hold my tongue, cringe and say, "Err. yup...very good... this is good wine... "

Even though all I taste in my mouth is vinegar...

But yet, I still refuse to totally reject the wine, because my mind is already set on the fact that the aged wine is good.

...

I don't know if I'm fooling myself or not.

KEEPING SECRETS

Guarding a secret is the same as guarding one’s chastity. Those who keep a secret, whether personal or a friend’s, keep themselves chaste. Conversely, those who spread secrets damage their honor and reputation by leaving them unguarded.

If you want to tell someone a secret, be sure that you could trust him or her with your honor. He or she must be as meticulous about keeping your secret as he or she would be about his or her own honor. An unreliable person, one who is ignorant of the value of chastity, should not be entrusted with keeping your secret.

Keeping a secret and respecting the secrets of others, as opposed to prying into them, is a virtue related to self-discipline and sensitivity. Those who lack understanding cannot guard a secret, and those who do not care about the consequences of words and actions cannot be considered discreet.

It is usually wiser not to relate your private concerns to others, especially if they are unattractive, offensive, or lacking in merit. To do so can embarrass loved ones and delight enemies, and have other unpleasant consequences as well.

Hearts are created as safes for keeping secrets. Intelligence is their lock; will-power is their key. No one can break into the safe and steal its valuables if the lock or key are not faulty.

Bear in mind that those who carry others’ secrets to you might bear yours to others. Do not give such tactless people any chance to learn even the smallest details of your private concerns.

If you entrust another secret to someone who previously disclosed one, your lack of perception and poor judgment in choosing a confidant is plain for all to see. One whose own heart is firm on this matter and who is vigilant cannot be deceived and seduced repeatedly in this way.

There are secrets related to the person, the family, and the nation. By disclosing a personal secret, you are interfering with a person’s honor; by disclosing a family secret, you are interfering with the family’s honor; and by disclosing a national secret, you are interfering with the nation’s honor. A secret is a power only as long as it stays with its owner, but is a weapon that may be used against its owner if it passes into the hands of others. This is the meaning of one of our traditional sayings: “The secret is your slave, but you become its slave if you disclose it.”

The details of many important affairs can be protected only if they are kept secret. Often enough, when the involved parties do not keep certain matters secret, no progress is achieved. In addition, serious risks might confront those who are involved, particularly if the matter concerns delicate issues of national life and its continuation.

If a state cannot protect its secrets from its enemies, it cannot develop. If an army reveals its strategy to its antagonists, it cannot attain victory. If key workers are won over by the competitors, their employers cannot succeed.

Explain what you must, but never give away all of your secrets. Those who freely publicize the secrets of their hearts drag themselves and their nation toward an inevitable downfall.

Source: http://www.thewaytotruth.org/pearls/secrets.html

Comrades

There are actually 3 kinds of friends in this world. A, B, and C (a change from X, Y and Z ... haha). C is the type who is just there for the sake of being there, something like an acquantance, and I shan't touch on him so much. B is one who is the epitome of objectivity, he is one knows all his facts, weighs up all sides and judges accordingly based on concrete evidence. While B is objective, A is more subjective. A is one who is loyal and sticks by your side no matter what, whether you are right or wrong, and does not jump on the bandwagon. In a nutshell, A is loyal to people and not to principles.

One fine day, you and your three friends A, B and C are sent to a war. Let's assume you and your 3 friends are on patrol duty. However, you accidentally walk onto neutral territory and break a sacred object there. For that, the neutrals decide they are after your head.

You are miles away from the headquarters, and thus reinforcements cannot come in time to save you. The neutrals, ever fueled by the anger of you breaking their sacred object, start charging towards you with arms. You run away, but you fall down and break your leg, and you are unable to continue. You know that it is a matter of time before the neutrals come. You turn to your friends for help.

C says, "Sorry, I have many other friends so I don't care about what happens to you."

And so C leaves.

B says, "I've weighed up all the facts and arguments. Objectively speaking, you are actually in the wrong for breaking the sacred object. Therefore, they are right to come after you. Thanks for being my friend anyway. Goodbye."

And so B leaves.

A says, "I know you are wrong for breaking the object, but you are my friend and I will defend you no matter what happens, even with my life"

And so A stays.
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Whether they live, nobody knows. Oh the mystery. Such is the beauty of friendship.

"A true friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

"In economics, the balance of payments, (or BOP) measures the payments that flow between any individual country and all other countries. It is used to summarize all international economic transactions for that country during a specific time period, usually a year. The BOP is determined by the country's exports and imports of goods, services, and financial capital, as well as financial transfers. It reflects all payments and liabilities to foreigners (debits) and all payments and obligations received from foreigners (credits). Balance of payments is one of the major indicators of a country's status in international trade, with net capital outflow."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balance_of_payments

Heres the context in which my poem has been written in. For the past few days, I have ventured into the morally gray (I will be doing a commentary about "God and the morally gray" in time to come) in order to fight against injustice. Until now, I have no idea whether I did right or wrong (hence, my experiences will be used as input for the post).

This poem speaks of my desire to come clean, and explains things from my point of view. Perhaps I should not have used the morally gray approach, however at times I find that desperate times call for desparate measures. Furthermore, seeing a good friend being made into a subject of humiliation just because of his so-called inability to perform in a particular game makes my blood want to boil.

And before my poem starts, I leave you all with a quote I recently found.

"All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke.

As long as I see evil, I will opposite it. The end.

And with that, I bring you readers my poem, titled "Balance of Payments".

Balance of Payments

A summary at disequilibrium
A defence for my guilty transactions
A subtle, impactful, stone written piece
A sheet that is so true, and meaningful
Blatantly obvious – Balance of Payments

Some sheets enjoy a surplus. Good for them.
And services positive. Some will go
Keynesian. Short term pain for long term gain
Many are in deficit. Good for us.
Living for the present isn’t a gift

My sheet mirrors my soul – Truth and meaning.
The currency of transfer, no one knows.
Keynesian. Short term pain for long term pain
Currently, I do not know where I stand
Capitally, excess long term outflow.

I once said to my teacher,” Please tell me
What is the point of this useless piece of sheet?”
He answered, “So you know what benefits
You, What helps you. What harms you. Good and bad”
Our underrated sheet mirrors our soul.


So I come clean now with no strings attached
I may have dwelt in the gray like you but
My intentions have been sparkling white and
Yours have been tainted black but whitewashed well
Radials contract, circulars relax

Now did that help you see your piece of sheet?
Dilate your pupils and don’t blink away
Dark Knight has made a Joker out of you
With pseudonyms I fought your injustice
Open your eyes to your sheet. Dare to add?

I do. Your constant practice of dumping
Drives innocents into a deficit
Their poverty cycle is your transport
Red lights, humps, stop signs, I embodied all
Now what were you saying about stocking?

If your feet still fail to match my shoe size,
Develop your cerebral hemispheres
I'll practice protectionism until
You stop your dumping, wave your white flag then
Come say my stocking is irritating

Colourgenics (For this month)

Name: z
Date: 9/26/2009
Colorgenics Number: 32145607

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You are tending to pursue your objectives with concentrated intensity and it would seem that whatever obstacles may come into your path, you will stick to your guns and will not allow yourself to be deflected from your purpose. You are striving to achieve recognition and what is more - you deserve it.

You are willing to try anything once. You 'need to be needed' and what is perhaps more important you 'need to need.' You can only feel close to a person or persons when you feel you can trust them, but this trust needs to be proven to you.

Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the 'you' that you would like to be - give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You don't like authority and you rebel against all forms of limitation. You are your own person and you intend to stay that way and to get on in the world simply by your hard work and determination.

Kimi Raikkonen has signed an "outline agreement" to kick off a second tenure with the McLaren team beginning next season, the Mirror newspaper reported on Sunday.

http://en.f1-live.com/f1/en/headlines/news/detail/090920103457.shtml

Not possible...please say it's just a rumour...

Nonetheless, even if it's true, I'm really happy for all the contributions that Raikkonen has made for Ferrari...

But if he goes back to McLaren...well...he shouldn't be surprised if he gets a sharp drop in popularity...

And who do you think will replace Raikkonen? I think...it'll most probably be Fernando Alonso...

Though it's best to keep the Raikkonen and Massa pairing intact...

The Thinking Christian

I took this title from the September 17th article of Our Daily Bread. Here is a link to the article: http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/our-daily-bread/2009/09/17/devotion.aspx

You look at the title of this post and wonder what on earth I'm trying to say. I know some people will think the idea of a "Thinking Christian" is rather paradoxical. Many will think that is some sort of a contradiction, that Christians are naive. I have been to enough forums and websites to know that there are many people who think that Christians are just following blindly rather than actually being thinkers.

In some ways, they are partially right. I follow a God I cannot understand. Well, because He is God. If I could fully understand God, then I'm not human.

Nonetheless, I make this post with regard to issues relating to "Why do we pray?", "Why does God put me on this planet when He knows what the future holds, like whether I'm going to hell or heaven?", "How do we know what God wants us to do?", "How much does God love me?" and perhaps other themes will be covered as I plan to answer those questions. I must quote from Our Daily Bread when it was mentioned that "Faith was never intended as a substitute for intelligence". Yes. God does not want us to follow Him blindly. He wants us to actually truly reflect on His word, and what it all actually means. Of course, those questions above were some of the questions that were bothering me, and I have thought about them over many days. I must say that I am a person who believes in logic, and that I really get uncomfortable if something doesn't make any sense to me. In my attempt to answer these questions, I've also consulted other people, read through websites and of course reading and re-reading certain portions of the Bible. Thus, to allow others to benefit from my experiences, I attempt to answer these questions to the best of my ability with all the sources I have consulted over the past weeks. In answering these questions, some of my answers may overlap. That is expected, because that's the beauty of God, knowing just one thing about Him can lead to so many answers (and perhaps even more questions too, again another beauty of God!).
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Even though not really made public, there is definitely a huge debate going on (well, at least within my mind, and perhaps the minds of many others) about why we should pray. Where does this debate stem from? Well, many people will say that since the future is already in God's hands, why do we need to pray? If God already knows what is best for me, why do I have to ask Him for what I need? For some, they would perhaps say that since God doesn't seem to be answering their prayers, why should they continue?

Questions and questions about why prayer is necessary just keep coming. I'm pretty sure too that God doesn't want us to be praying blindly. Can you imagine if your friend picks up the phone, never dials your number but starts talking? Yup, that's "talking blindly (LOL!)" So definitely, when you call your friend, or if your friend calls you, you'd definitely want to have some form of connection with him/her.

So yes, allow me to give the analogy of a little girl and some toys.

Let's say theres a father there. Now, the little girl wants to reach for a toy at the top of the shelves, but of course it is too high up for her. Let's say the father stands there, and watches her struggle to take the toys, but she can't. So the little girl gets tired, and feels rather sad at not being able to reach for the toys. She looks at the father with a sad look on her face, knowing that her best was just not enough, and she says "Daddy, can you get that toy for me?". Of course, the father picks up the toy and passes it to the girl, who becomes happy.

You see, prayer is like how the little girl asks her father to get the toy for her. Of course, we want something other than just mere toys, so we should ask God in the form of prayer. When we pray, we acknowledge that God is almighty and can grant us the desires of our hearts. When we pray, we acknowledge that we are weak while God is strong. When we pray, we acknowledge that God exists, and that life is not all about ourselves.

Now, you may ask, "Why doesn't the father just take the toy and pass it to her, even before she asks?". Well, I think the father already knows what the little girl wants from seeing the way she was reaching for the toy. If the father just took the toy down and passed it to the little girl, the little girl won't have the need to ask her father to take the toy down the shelves for her, and there won't be any connection. There won't be a relationship formed. You know in Luke 10:27 it read "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind". It's very clear here, God is telling us all to love Him! We get closer with our friends through experiences with them, and we get closer to God through experiences with Him, and prayer is a good way to have an experience with God as prayer is our direct form of communication with Him. If God just gives us what we want without us acknowledging that He did, then how will we rely on Him? How will a relationship with Him form? Prayer helps us to have a relationship with God. Therefore, I strongly believe that prayer is necessary.
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I''ve also asked this question, "If God knows that someone is going to do good on Earth, why can't He just send that person to heaven straight away instead of wasting time sending him to Earth? And on the other extreme, if God knows someone is going to do mean stuff on Earth, why can't He just send the person to hell straight away instead of letting that guy waste his time on Earth just to go to hell later on?"

Now I'm going to skip the explanations that everyone is evil and we are all doomed to go to hell in the first place, because that was what made me even more confused because God knows that in the future, some people will repent, so why not just send those whom He knows are going to repent up to heaven while sending the rest to hell?

I'm also going to skip the part where good people are needed to be on Earth to show others the way, because while this is true, it didn't answer my question because I thought that God should've put all those good people + others whom He knows will repent up in heaven first.

Again, we should look at our Bible. Notice that God does not say "You are to enter heaven and not enter hell". Nowhere. In fact, God does not really mention heaven or hell that much in the Bible. Look at the 10 commandments, did God ever ask us to enter heaven and avoid hell? Nope. Of course He wants us all to enter His kingdom, but more importantly He wants us to have a relationship with Him. I'm going to use Luke 10:27 as an example again "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind". Thus, this links back to why we pray, to love Him. Like the little girl struggling to get her toy, we struggle in the many challenges here on Earth. Through these challenges, we realise how weak we are and how strong God really is, and thus we begin to rely on Him more, forming a relationship with Him and the more we know Him the more we love Him. Thus, this is why God sends all of us to Earth, to love Him.
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I've also always wondered what God had always wanted me to do. So far in my life, I've been more or less convinced that God wants me to be a doctor, because that is my lifetime goal.

However, I've been experiencing setback after setback this year. I've failed tests and examinations at various points of my life in these 2 years in the IBDP. I've always wondered if that was God's way of telling me to give up, that this programme was not suitable for me. Well, it is true if perhaps God feels that doing well in the IBDP to become a doctor (since you have to do superbly well to enter medical school) is not the right path for me.

But then again, God put me in the IBDP. Of course I wanted it so badly, but if He knew that it would not have been the right path for me, He would've steered me away from it a long time ago. So I'm here, and there must be a purpose. And if God sees you wanting to do your utmost best to bring glory to His name, God would never say "Give up!". Nope, I've never heard God tell me to "give up". During my O level year, the thought of me qualifying for the IBDP was sort of crazy, but yet I wanted it and God did not tell me to give up.

Now here I am, in the IBDP. I guess, the reason why I'm here is that God wants me to put in my best to glorify His name. Then again, I can be wrong. However, God has told me "Do not doubt yourself Sean. All things are possible in Me".

Yup, maybe you might say that these are just random thoughts that come into my own head, but who knows, perhaps God intended for them to happen!
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Now I'll like to use an analogy to show you all how much God loves you.

Perhaps a hands-on activity will work best! Follow the steps.

1) Take out a small piece of paper. Any size will do, as long as it can fit a small drawing.
2) Draw a picture of the best impression of any human you can find. Yup, you could even look into the mirror to draw yourself. Mine looks something like this!


(Hey, my Art ain't that good so this is the best given what I have haha!)

Ok. Now look at it. Will you love that picture so much that you can die for it?

No. I couldn't. I just can't.

But God did. He created us in His own image. We could say He perhaps looked into a mirror and moulded us based on what He looked like (so be careful when you make fun of the way someone else looks, you could be guilty of insulting God Himself...I think a lot of us will be guilty of this, or at least I am!).

Imagine if the picture you drew suddenly came to life (Assuming you don't scream and freak out!). The picture then starts swearing at you, blaming you for everything and demanding everything from you. What would you do? You'd most likely swat it away and say "To hell with you!".

But God died for us. Can you imagine turning yourself into that picture, to live amongst them and to show them the way, only to be crucified by your creation?

I can't imagine myself doing that. I won't do that.

Even if I were an artist and made a painting that was truly my best effort, I still won't die for it.

That just shows how much God loves us. A patient God whose mercies are everlasting. He could easily rip us apart whenever we piss Him off, but no. He chose to die for us.

I can't comprehend that. That's why I can never fully understand God's love. What made me actually deserve His love? I don't know. But I definitely know that He loves me so much that He was willing to die for me to buy my freedom.

Do you know why God allows us to sin? Ever wondered why God allows us to continue doing things that hurt Him when He could easily strike us down there and then?

To answer this, I will use an analogy again. I'm pretty sure that many of us have someone we love (boyfriends/girlfriends anyone? Maybe also parents who love their children? I don't know, be creative!) so much. Lets assume that you want your loved one to avoid eating char kway teow because it is oily and will cause health problems, but you know he/she loves to eat char kway teow so much. Your loved one tells you that he/she wants to eat it, and maybe even to the extent of putting char kway teow above you in priority. Out of love, you'd allow him/her to eat char kway teow.

Of course in our lives we probably would want something more significant than just char kway teow (but have you noticed that by putting material goods before God, it's almost like, if not worse than putting char kway teow before your loved one?). If God sees you wanting something so badly, that you'll put it before Him, He'll give it to you.

Which is why you see many rich people who effectively have made money their god. God loves these people very much and because of that, He will grant them the desires of their heart. (But remember, "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God", because the rich man has made money his god.)

However, as mentioned earlier, if you want to glorify God, He will reward you (both spiritually and materialistically). Let's say your little picture does things to glorify you, and even though all that is important is a good relationship with you, you'd be so proud of it that you'd give it a reward (hmm, just try to imagine a picture having a reward!).

Of course, we mean more to God than a picture means to us. Therefore, God will not fail to reward you when you have done Him proud. By glorifying His name and doing all things for Him, and obeying Him out of love, that is what makes Him proud of you.

And remember, always thank Him for everything good that comes your way. (Speaking of which, Thanks Father for an awesome Bio Paper 2 today and for bringing me through my Prelims with a good momentum going!)
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Answers lead to more questions, and I'll like to know why God chose to become human and die for us when He could just magically buy our freedom. I think the answer has something to do with the chance of forming a relationship with Him being much higher if He died for us, rather than Him just magically taking them away. Any opinions?

Other than that, I must say that my relationship with God has been strengthened through these self reflections. It is true that in Christ we are equipped for "casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Now at the conclusion of my post, I hope that I have helped to bring my readers some further insight into who God really is. If there is anything anyone is unclear of, or anything anyone would like me to add, do not hesitate to inform me via my tagboard or msn or anyway you want and I'll clarify these points in future posts. I would also like to thank my friend Minyang for giving me those insights which I have put into this post. Finally, I would like to thank God for being such a wonderful and amazing God, bringing me through such a blessed life!

And I really wish I can be like the little girl who will say with all her heart, "Hey, look how Daddy got my toy for me! I have such an amazing Daddy!"

My Dream Diary Continues

Ok I'm going to make a quick dream diary post before making another big blogpost.

I was dreaming of walking behind this girl. She was a girl I once sort of had a crush on. Yea it was in school. Let's call her Z.

So I was walking behind Z. I wanted to approach her...

Somehow I didn't dare...

STUPID LOR. I DONT EVEN DARE TO APPROACH A GIRL EVEN IN MY DREAMS...

But anyway...I saw my fren X. So I said "Hi" to X.

I told X "wah this girl is dam hot. Should I say hi"

X was like "You're dam hot and sexy! You should!"

Lol. Sarcastic? Maybe. Don't know. Just a dream.

Then X went to his class. He asked me to join him. I declined. Didn't think they like me anyway.

So I went to my class. Then someone (I dont know who) was saying something in Chinese about apologising and forgiving...

And then I woke up. WEIRD DREAM!!!

Glorify Your Name



Lyrics:
Jesus Jesus
Holy One, God's precious Son
You gave

Jesus Jesus
On the cross You took my shame
Forever from my heart I'll say
I live to worship You, Lord
My King of glory
Brought me to life
Gave me wings to fly
You are holy
Heaven and earth declare Your praise
Both now and evermore
I glorify Your name

Jesus Jesus
On the cross You took my sin
Forever from my heart I'll sing

You are holy
Glorify Your name
Jesus Jesus Jesus
I glorify Your name
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Awesome song. Sums up what I (and hopefully many others) want to do.

Everything good I do, is to glorify Your name.

"I've got no time for people kicking anybody or being violent on the pitch and he was wrong to run the length of the field," Redknapp said. "But it's very difficult when you're getting abuse through the game like he was. It's not celebrating a goal that cause riots, it's idiots who want to start riots. What did Adebayor do, really? If I had been standing there and we had been giving him grief all game, I would probably say: 'Fair play.' I'm not saying it's right, what Adebayor did, but what nutters want to cause riots? Why do people need to shout abuse? Why can't they just watch a game of football? There must be something wrong with you if you want to do that."

Interesting point to think about, is it Adebayor's fault for provoking the fans? Or is it the fans' fault for wanting to riot...

It's very easy to blame players, but let's look at it another way...

If Adebayor had run to the wrong end of the pitch to celebrate (like what he did in the Man City vs Arsenal game), and if the fans had been more civilized and not riot, do you think the FA would've made an issue about this? Guess not.

So in this case, it's the fans' fault.

Nonetheless, when Gary Neville did the same to my club Liverpool, he only received a fine as punishment...if Adebayor gets a ban for this, then perhaps FA is being biased.

Racist? Nah, that's quite a strong word now and still unproven...

Not that it matters anyway, he's already going to miss the Manchester derby, so Man United is most likely gonna win.

So I guess more banning will help Liverpool's cause :)

I have 2 songs I like by Darlene Zscech. Yup, i really like Christian songs! Maybe I'll like to come up with my own album one day! But that'll have to wait :)

Irresistible

I behold your power and glory
Bring an offering, Come before You
Worship You Lord
In the beauty of Your holiness

Whenever I call You're there
Redeemer and friend
Cherished beyond all words
This love never ends
Morning by morning, Your mercy awakens my soul
I lift up my eyes to see
The wonders of heaven Opening over me
Your goodness abounds
You've taken my breath away, with Your irresistible love
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I will run to you

Your eyes is on the sparrow
And Your hand, it confoms me
From the ends of the earth
To he depths of my heart
Let You mercy and strength be seen
You call me to Your purpose
As angels understand
For Your glory
May you draw all men
As Your love and grace demands
An I will run to You
To Your words of truth
Not by might, not by power
But by the Spirit Of God
Yes, I will run the race
'Til I see Your Face
Oh, let me live in the glory of Your Grace
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Beautiful songs. So true.

And as the 2nd song says, "Not by might, not by power, but by the Spirit of God", I will go into my prelims and the upcoming IB exams with that in mind.

Not by might, not by power, but by the Spirit of God

Here goes nothing...

but faith in God that my efforts put into this prelims and the forthcoming IB exams will pay off...

Prayer always helps. One day I am going to do a blogpost on prayer:)

(And I shall attempt to explore the question on why we should pray even if God already has the future planned out for us)

Yossi Benayoun was amazing! Hat trick!!!

The way Benayoun and kuyt kept switching positions around was pretty well done. By playing behind Gerrard and Torres, Benayoun could make use of the extra space in front of him (due to super heavily blatent man marking of Gerrard and Torres) and bang in the goals. Why didn't Liverpool do this earlier? Nonetheless, better late than never and I believe my club will take the title race down to the wire!

Hmm regarding Chelsea, they were super lucky, but statistically they remain premier league's top team for now...THEY MUST BE STOPPED!!!

Regarding Manchester City and Arsenal, well I guess it's justice done in favour of Greedybayor (what the Arsenal fans call him). No doubt I wanted to see a draw between both teams, but given the abuse that Adebayor got even when he was still in Arsenal, I think it's about time for justice to be done. No fan should ever boo their own player (afterall, the player probably knows more about football than them), Lucas Leiva doesn't even get booed that much by Liverpool fans. Maybe in the heat of the game itself yea but after the game we Liverpuldians can still say "Lucas we love you!". Even Wenger had told the Arsenal fans not to abuse Adebayor, and given the club's financial state, Adebayor had to go...

Anyway, it would've been fun to see Tevez and Arshavin playing,

Nonetheless, I can't wait for the Aquilani to get fit. Liverpool is set to become THE team to watch!