A fine young man he was...

How time flies...

Eh I looked dam cute right? LOLz!

My Motivational Behavior

Behavioral Approach	90
Drive	75
Fun Seeking	92
Reward Responsiveness	100
Behavioral Inhibition	67
Avoidance	67

You are a very driven and motivated person, with a positive outlook towards completing tasks. You work hard and play hard and are very responsive to positive motivation.You have a very strong drive to complete tasks that you have set yourself, or that others have set for you. You actively seek out activities that will make you happy, including parties, hanging out with family and friends or even thrill seeking through sports etc... You also tend to be fairly impulsive. You are very motivated by seeking reward for your behaviour. The offer of a reward (such as a promotion for working hard or winning a bet) will keep you motivated to complete difficult activities. Your major motivation is to avoid things that you don't like. This can mean organising your life to avoid activities you don't enjoy, or to escape punishment or pain. You can also tend to be a fairly nervous person.

My Personality

Neuroticism	88
Extraversion	86
Openness to Experience	53
Agreeableness	69
Conscientiousness	58

Mostly your emotions are on an even keel and you do not get depressed easily, however you experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. You are an active group participant but usually prefer to let someone else be the group leader. You prefer familiar routines and for things to stay the same. You can tend to feel uncomfortable with change. You find helping other people genuinely rewarding and are generally willing to assist those who are in need. You find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice, however you are not adverse to confrontation and will sometimes even intimidate others to get your own way. You have a strong sense of duty and obligation, and feel a moral obligation to do the right thing. Neuroticism explanation | back to top Overall Score 88 Anxiety 92 Anger 74 Depression 54 Self-Consciousness 65 Immoderation 75 Vulnerability 99 You feel tense, jittery, and nervous and often feel like something dangerous is about to happen. You may be afraid of specific situations or be just generally fearful. You feel enraged when things do not go your way. You are sensitive about being treated fairly and feel resentful and bitter if you think you are being cheated. Mostly your emotions are on an even keel and you do not get depressed easily. You are not generally self conscious about yourself. You feel strong cravings and urges that you have difficulty resisting. You tend to prefer short-term pleasures and rewards over long-term consequences. You experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. Extraversion explanation | back to top Overall Score 86 Friendliness 79 Gregariousness 92 Assertiveness 49 Activity Level 86 Excitement-Seeking 74 Cheerfulness 74 You genuinely like other people and openly demonstrate positive feelings toward others. You make friends quickly and it is easy for you to form close, intimate relationships. You find the company of others pleasantly stimulating and rewarding, and you enjoy the excitement that crowds provide. You are an active group participant but usually prefer to let someone else be the group leader. You lead a fast-paced and busy life. You move about quickly, energetically, and vigorously and are involved in many activities. You love bright lights and hustle and bustle. You are likely to take risks and seek thrills. You experience a range of positive feelings, including happiness, enthusiasm, optimism, and joy. Openness to Experience explanation | back to top Overall Score 53 Imagination 77 Artistic Interests 72 Emotionality 66 Adventurousness 5 Intellect 35 Liberalism 63 Often you find the real world is too plain and ordinary for your liking, and you use fantasy as a way of creating a richer, more interesting world for yourself. You love beauty, both in art and in nature. Sometimes you become easily involved and absorbed in artistic and natural events. Generally you are not considered to be an emotional person, however you are aware of and in touch with your emotions. You prefer familiar routines and for things to stay the same. You can tend to feel uncomfortable with change. You enjoy a certain amount of debate or intellectual thought, but sometimes get bored with too much. You like the security of tradition, but sometimes have a desire to bend the rules and challenge conventional thinking. Agreeableness explanation | back to top Overall Score 69 Trust 76 Morality 62 Altruism 87 Cooperation 27 Modesty 50 Sympathy 80 You naturally assume that most people are fair, honest, and have good intentions. There are times when you believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary, however you are mostly candid, frank and sincere. People find it moderately easy to relate to you. You find helping other people genuinely rewarding and are generally willing to assist those who are in need. You find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice. You are not adverse to confrontation and will sometimes even intimidate others to get your own way. You are willing to take credit for good things that you do but you don't often talk yourself up much. You are tenderhearted and compassionate, feeling the pain of others vicariously and are easily moved to pity. Conscientiousness explanation | back to top Overall Score 58 Self-Efficacy 60 Orderliness 50 Dutifulness 82 Achievement-Striving 73 Self-Discipline 68 Cautiousness 17 You are moderately confident that you can achieve the goals you set yourself. You are a reasonably organized person and like to have a certain amount of routine in your life. You have a strong sense of duty and obligation, and feel a moral obligation to do the right thing. You strive hard to achieve excellence. Your drive to be recognized as successful keeps you on track toward your lofty goals. You often have a strong sense of direction in life, but may sometimes be too single-minded and obsessed with your work. You have strong will-power and are able to overcome your reluctance to begin tasks. You are able to stay on track despite distractions. You often say or do the first thing that comes to mind without deliberating alternatives and the probable consequences of those alternatives.

Michael Schumacher vs. Felipe Massa

MS: Joined Ferrari in 1996. Good start, took a few wins.
FM: Joined Ferrari in 2006. Good start, took a few wins.

MS: Picked up pace in 1997, won more races.
FM: Picked up pace in 2007, won more races.

MS: Lost championship at final round to McLaren.
FM: Lost championship at final round to McLaren.

MS: Broke leg halfway through 1999, missed most of rest of the season.
FM: Injured in crash halfway through 2009, missed rest of the season.

If the trend continues, Felipe should in theory win it in 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013 and 2014

Source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/606/A58344618

Name: Sean Lee
Date: 10/9/2009
Colorgenics Number: 14325607

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You are seeking an affectionate relationship, offering fulfilment and happiness. You are capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Deep down, you are a kind loving person, always helpful and willing to adapt yourself if necessary to realise the bond of affection that you desire. But you need the same consideration and understanding from others and it is this need that will sometimes hold you back... so let go, trust and you may pleasantly surprised at what happens.

You are a leader in every sense of the word. You know where you are going and you know what you need to do in order to get there. You exercise an inherent initiative in overcoming obstacles and difficulties. You either hold, or wish to achieve, a position of authority by means of which full control can be exerted over events.

Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the 'you' that you would like to be - give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

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What a great change from a few days ago. Yea I want an affectionate relationship! :)

Analysis of Results

Yet another case of underperforming.

Do I honestly think that my score is satisfying?

No. To be performing below your expectations when you think (or know) you have a largely untapped potential...the feeling is really indescribable...it's sad (then again, it's better than not having any potential haha, but I'm sure no one falls under that category anywayz).

Granted I was sick during Math Paper 2, and so I couldn't really keep my head straight. Granted I didn't get the most lenient of markers for Chem, Econs...especially Englissh...

Nonetheless, I didn't do as well as I could have. I fell short of my targetted prelim score of 35 (which I still think is my REAL score...but maybe I'm just being delusional haha).

But...my score is currently not too bad. If that's God's will then so be it. At least I know what to work on now.

Bio, Chem and Econs will give me my 7s for IB.

I'll have to work on Math. It'll take a huge miracle to do a big jump to a 7.

English...well time to re read the texts and yea another huge miracle to give me a 7 (and lots of luck)

So yea, for my main papers I have to jump my grades from 31 to 42. Gosh. Can it be done?

I hope so. In that, I hope to emulate my O' level year (I pray that I will not choke at the end) where I vaulted myself from being a total failure to being one of the front runners. Well this should be easier, vaulting myself from midfield to being a frontrunner...yea...should be...honestly I'm not getting as much support as I had in my O level year though, but nonetheless I'm satisfied with the amount of support I'm getting now.

After today, no more messing around.

Forget silencing all the critics. I wanna bring glory to God's name, by showing the world that even an underachiever like me can get top grades by the Spirit of God.

Wish me Godspeed.

God willing, I'll make the breakthrough.

and I still remember God's promise "Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." (Proverbs 16:3)

So Lord, I'll work hard starting tomorrow. I'm not going to be messing around anymore. I'll put in my 110%. Grant me a top grade, ideally 45, because I know You can work miracles in an underachiever like me, as I seek to glorify Your name. Because, I can work all I want, and it is only through You that these grades can come in. By Your power and mercy, and not my work, though I will do my part. So Lord, hear my humble prayer for Your help. Because really, I know You can work miracles in me, and I seek to show the world how amazing You are.

Nonetheless, Your will, not mine.

Colourgenics (In advance)

A lot of change has been happening in my life lately, therefore a colourgenics test is done in advance to show the distinct contrast between now and about less than a fortnight ago.

Name: Sean Lee
Date: 10/6/2009
Colorgenics Number: 72150346

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You are trying desperately to prove yourself. You are going at it hammer and tongs in order to get your own way. You oppose any sort of restriction or opposition to your own point of view in the belief that this could prove you how self determined you are.

You are a very warm and emotional individual but unfortunately in the past too many people have taken advantage of this sensitive trait. You need aesthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm understanding.

You feel tired - worn out and listless. The last thing that you want to do is to be in an open conflict with those around you that are forever tormenting you. What to do? That's the rub. You are feeling that you are being choked - unable to breathe.

You are pretending that the situation around you doesn't matter, but the effort of trying to conceal your emotions and anxieties is resulting in untold stress. The existing situation is disagreeable. You feel unwanted and lonely and you would really like to associate with someone whose ideals are as high as your own. You want to be above the standard of mediocrity and this need to be needed and that need to need has almost become an obsession. You are trying to magnify the need into a compelling urge. You would really like to tell the world how great you are but no, you are holding back because you feel that your peers may treat you with contempt. This is a great pity because you have in fact a unique quality of character, but the continual restraint that you impose on yourself makes you suppress this need for others and you pretend you don't really care. You treat those who criticise you with contempt. However, to be honest, beneath this assumption of indifference you really long for the approval and esteem of others.

The need for admiration and to be regarded as 'someone special' is perhaps one of the foremost aims in your life at this time. You would like to perhaps do something outrageous or anything that will give you the chance to be recognised as someone special. This desire has now almost become an obsession and in your own way you are trying to fulfil this 'complex' by ensuring you are the centre of attention, both at work or play, or in the home. Stop trying so hard and you will find that people will like you for who you are - not for who you are pretending to be.

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Based on observations in this week (and last weekend), I probably agree with everything except "Stop trying so hard and you will find that people will like you for who you are - not for who you are pretending to be."

I don't know why, but apparently even all types of aged wine (If you've read my posts, you'd likely get an idea) probably can't accept me for who I am.

So there it goes. I hope this changes soon. I don't want to keep feeling in this mood. Sometimes I wish that I can be special even without trying...

Wine tastes better as it ages, and yet...when the aging process isn't done right...

It becomes sour.

I taste the wine, I hold my tongue, cringe and say, "Err. yup...very good... this is good wine... "

Even though all I taste in my mouth is vinegar...

But yet, I still refuse to totally reject the wine, because my mind is already set on the fact that the aged wine is good.

...

I don't know if I'm fooling myself or not.

KEEPING SECRETS

Guarding a secret is the same as guarding one’s chastity. Those who keep a secret, whether personal or a friend’s, keep themselves chaste. Conversely, those who spread secrets damage their honor and reputation by leaving them unguarded.

If you want to tell someone a secret, be sure that you could trust him or her with your honor. He or she must be as meticulous about keeping your secret as he or she would be about his or her own honor. An unreliable person, one who is ignorant of the value of chastity, should not be entrusted with keeping your secret.

Keeping a secret and respecting the secrets of others, as opposed to prying into them, is a virtue related to self-discipline and sensitivity. Those who lack understanding cannot guard a secret, and those who do not care about the consequences of words and actions cannot be considered discreet.

It is usually wiser not to relate your private concerns to others, especially if they are unattractive, offensive, or lacking in merit. To do so can embarrass loved ones and delight enemies, and have other unpleasant consequences as well.

Hearts are created as safes for keeping secrets. Intelligence is their lock; will-power is their key. No one can break into the safe and steal its valuables if the lock or key are not faulty.

Bear in mind that those who carry others’ secrets to you might bear yours to others. Do not give such tactless people any chance to learn even the smallest details of your private concerns.

If you entrust another secret to someone who previously disclosed one, your lack of perception and poor judgment in choosing a confidant is plain for all to see. One whose own heart is firm on this matter and who is vigilant cannot be deceived and seduced repeatedly in this way.

There are secrets related to the person, the family, and the nation. By disclosing a personal secret, you are interfering with a person’s honor; by disclosing a family secret, you are interfering with the family’s honor; and by disclosing a national secret, you are interfering with the nation’s honor. A secret is a power only as long as it stays with its owner, but is a weapon that may be used against its owner if it passes into the hands of others. This is the meaning of one of our traditional sayings: “The secret is your slave, but you become its slave if you disclose it.”

The details of many important affairs can be protected only if they are kept secret. Often enough, when the involved parties do not keep certain matters secret, no progress is achieved. In addition, serious risks might confront those who are involved, particularly if the matter concerns delicate issues of national life and its continuation.

If a state cannot protect its secrets from its enemies, it cannot develop. If an army reveals its strategy to its antagonists, it cannot attain victory. If key workers are won over by the competitors, their employers cannot succeed.

Explain what you must, but never give away all of your secrets. Those who freely publicize the secrets of their hearts drag themselves and their nation toward an inevitable downfall.

Source: http://www.thewaytotruth.org/pearls/secrets.html