Life of a MeYou wake up at 6am. It's so dark, it seems like it was just night time. Oh wait, it was night time...you don't remember hitting the bed when you dozed off the night before.
"WAKE UP! TIME FOR SCHOOL!"...Oh thats Dad again, waking up early every morning to ensure that you get to school on time...Or should I say TRY to ensure that you get to school on time lolz...
You tell yourself that it's still early, even though you know that it's not. You wish that you could sleep for just 5 more mins, even though u'd be telling yourself the same thing in 5 mins time. Soon at 6.20am you finally decide to get up.
You go to the dining table and try to eat your breakfast, but being sleepy, you doze off again till half past six. You wake up and realise that ur gonna be late, thus you rush and start eating. Brush teeth, change, you don't even have time to take a lovely morning bath, those days are just rare.
Time to go, you have just remembered that you forgot to pack your bag the night before. You frantically rush and grab the books needed for the day. You discover that you have uncompleted assignments. Uh oh, this spells trouble. At least ur ready by 6.50am...
Having done that, it's time to go again, but no, your sister also has unfinished business and thus needs more time...tick tock tick tock...7am!! I'm gonna be late!!...
It's really time to go now...It's 7.10am!! Dad rushes down and speeds off. First dropping sis off at SCGS (It's dat near...and ur still wondering why she needs a lift...). Dad zooms past traffic lights in an attempt to send me to school before half past seven. He couldve been faster than Michael Schumacher if his time was taken.
Yes...you reach sch at 7.29am...TIME TO RUN!! You make it to ur class on time...on the dot...
Assembly, so boring...zzz
Back to class...time to take out your attention file. There is usually nothing important, but you still feel a sense of satisfaction that your class teacher has bothered to buy us all decent good looking files (blue by the way, is your favourite colour)...
Teachers come and go...assignments not handed in, teachers dont notice, or maybe they do but just keep quiet...Lessons, you take this time to compensate for your lost hours of sleep. But no, this lesson is interesting. Not the subject, but your geography teacher teaches it in such a splendid way that geography starts to become interesting...You decide to listen and not fall asleep...
Recess time, you start wondering what to eat. You finally decide on your stall and start queueing up. your juniors start rushing to you upon seeing you and say hi. Ah, your juniors...It makes you start wondering what impression they have on you as a leader. You know that some just treat you as any other senior, some despise you, yet some just really adore you for your...x-factor? In your mind, you start laughing at yourself for coming up with such a thought...X-factor, what on earth is an x-factor? Then you start wondering what makes you special, what makes you different from the billions of people in this world...But that would wait till later, you just wanna get your food!
You roam around the school corridoors, people you dont know start saying hi. You start to think in what way they are related to you. You have a heavy fan base. But do your fans love you? Or do they just despise you? You have a split personality afterall.
Back to class again...so on so forth, you wish this would just end. You know your maths aint good, you know your science is just satisfactory, you know you dont have a grasp on humanities and worst still, CHINESE IS A TORTURE!!
School has ended, you go to eat your lunch. You wonder where to sit, your classmates have all but left...they usually dont seem to like staying back for lunch eh...You look for your friends and try to get a seat. Some tell you to get lost, some more than welcome you and some just dont bother.
You then make your way home, long walk to the bus stop...ahhh...You board the bus. There's usually no one you know on board. Those days where you have someone to talk crap to on board are just rare...so rare that you immediately fall asleep once you get onto the bus.
You go home, you do your homework. It's difficult. You call your friends and start talking crap. You discover to your horror that there's a test the next day...Darn...gotta study. Study finished. You go to your non-laggy computer and attempt to use it, only to discover that its being used by your sister. It somehow makes your blood boil, after doing all your homework, you just dont get any way to burn off your stress. Your sister claims to be doing homework on the computer, yet your keylogger tells you otherwise. To make matters worse, your friends call you and ask you to join them online. Okay...it's not the end of the world, there's still LAZYBONES.
LAZYBONES is the code name for your laggy comp. This is the computer which you are using for to type this post now. You want to start a game of warcraft 3. You have your shadowfrench hacks in your thumb drive. Ah yes the great man shadowfrench, what a pity hes not continuing with his maphack development, but never mind, its HIS decision anyway. You put in your thumb drive and LAZYBONES just hangs. Nvm, restart comp. You enter a game of dota. You are the last one to load. You delay the start for all the players. You make the game lag. Hosts put you on banlist for lagging. When you try to host with this comp, players just leave your game. Your friends tell you to get a better computer.
Ah yes, you've rememebered you raised the point to your parents before, to get a new computer and be able to play with the rest who have super fast ones, but your parents kindly tell you to look at people who have no computer and consider yourself lucky. Lucky? You consider saying "alright, so if i do badly for my tests and you ask me why I cant do well like the rest who get straight As, i would kindly tell you all to look at the people who failed worse than i do?"...But u'd leave it for another time, you might just make them angry. You always hope that your parents will one day buy you a new computer, just for you...only you and no one else...What about a laptop which you can carry around all the time? Or what about the tablet PCs which your lower secondary friends have? You feel sad, but you know that your parents are currently financially burdened, so you go further than raising the point of getting a new computer.
It's night time, you dont feel like sleeping, you decide that you have done your homework in vain as you reap no benefits. You also decide not to do homework anymore as there is no point. You know that these are bad thoughts...
You know this is why when you get your results back, they arent as pleasing as you wanted them to be. You recall your day in school where the teacher hands back the test scripts. Your friends are all celebrating, even those who play all day do so well. As for you, you sit there and stare into space. You have not done well. You become angry and try to blame anything and everything around you for your failure. Then you realised that there was nothing else. That there was only you. That it was all you, yourself. You did it.
You rage and scream and try to reach within yourself to crush the silent whispers of failure. But you are far less now than what you used to be. You are like a painter gone blind, a composer gone deaf, you can remember all your achievements before, but they are nothing more than a memory.
In the end, you cannot touch these whisperings of failure.
In the end, you do not even want to.
In the end, they are all you have left.
Within your furnace heart, you burn in your own flame.
This is how it feels like to be Me,
Forever...
