Untitled

I cant think up a title for this for my mind is all in a blank.

How does it feel to be constantly bugged to do something when ur already doing it.

How is it like when you already feel that you're at your limits yet others don't understand and keep forcing you to blow up.

How does it feel when you see others around you having freedom and enjoying themselves regardless of whether they performed well or not, while you are trapped pursuing a lost cause under duress.

How does it feel when no one understands you...

How does it feel when no one understands the stress you are going through...

How does it feel when people claim that they have more stress than you and that what you are going through is nothing compared to them...

How does it feel when you feel that you are alone with no one else...

How does it feel when you feel so useless, that there is nothing you can do to change your fate...

How does it feel when there is no one to understand...

Yet it is more annoying when people try to understand you but end up CLAIMING to help and then giving advices which are insignificant...

Lets see the 4 levels of connection with me.

Level 1 - The only thing anyone needs to know is MYOB...or Mind Your Own Business. (very sad that not many people are even able to hit this level)

Level 2 - People who know me well definitely realise that i dont like interference with my work. (very few people hit this level, cos very few people actually even know me)

Level 3 - People who understand me well will be able to see my limits and not force me to do what I cannot or what I do not intend to do. (I suppose that so far no one has hit this level, and i think that no one will for quite a while)

Level 4 - People who empathize with me would support the life I chose for me, share my burdens and stick with me through thick and thin. (if anyone ever reaches this level, I'll give him/her a million bucks...lol jk...but that would be very rare indeed)

If you think you really do understand me, then please come and help me. But dont come and help me if all you can say are retarded stuff which put me back to square 1. In other words, if nothing nice comes out of your mouth, then dont say it.

Truth without love is dogma that does not touch the heart. Love without truth is sentimentalism that does not challenge the will. When truth is spoken with love, God's Spirit can use it to change another's mind.

Vicious Circle

Am I the bad guy? Or am i the victim?

A great deal of people consider me the bad guy, the one who does the opposite of what hes supposed to do (thats not true!) and also the one who does not listen (some people say im a good listener, others say i'm not...people make up ur mind!!)...

People only see you superficially, but not for what you are...

And yet certain circumstances just make them keep seeing you that way...or worse. The good become better, the bad become worse. Vicious circle.

I consider myself as a victim caught in the middle. I need not explain why the one in the middle suffers the most, for that go to www.broken-memories-.blogspot.com for a more literal example.

Now as i was saying, i will not say that i did not do what i was supposed to do, if not i'd be lying to myself.

Ur never gonna believe this, they still claimed that I did not know what i was supposed to do...They also claimed that my side of the story was a lie. You see, these are the people who constantly tell others to tell the truth and the famous "LIARS GET STRUCK BY LIGHTNING" phrase. However, when they finally get the truth, they absolutely refuse to believe it! No, it couldnt possibly have been that way cos the results arent there, it had to be that he didnt do his job! Like how the hell do they come to a conclusion that i dont want to be at the top? Of course I did my job...

O well, no one ever said that intelligence was a survival trait.

You wouldnt think that such people are so contradictory. Yet there are many amongst us right now. Maybe i might turn into one of them.

At least I'm satisfied that I have done my job, the majority feel that I have done so, yet this majority is rather insignificant to me. It is the minority which bothers me. The minority which I consider can understand me most. I did my job, I just didnt do it well enough cos every job has a technique to it. Its a vicious circle, those who have the technique do better with less effort. Those without the technique do better even with more effort. Then those others who always love to contradict themselves then claim that those who have the technique are actually the only ones doing their job and that those without the technique arent doing any (and they dont even know that such techniques exist...why not they get their facts right first before criticising).

Effort does not equal technique, I learnt it the hard way.

I'm the victim of a vicious circle. Someone please help me. If only someone truly understands...

It isnt fun being the one putting in all the effort in vain...

Someone please understand...

It isnt fun being caught in the middle of a vicious circle...

Someone please understand...

I'm sick at being in this position for a very long time...

Someone please understand...

and help me...

If only...

Natural Selection

You think it doesn't exist. Well I'm not surprised, you dont see it first hand.

Afterall, what has Darwin's weird theories of evolution got to do with us? You dont wake up the next day and see yourself sprouting wings to fly right? In fact you probably wont see evolution happen during your lifetime (unless you're referring to microbes)...

Or do you?

In fact you see the process of natural selection take place everyday. It happens everywhere around us. You see it in politics, I don't have to explain...you get the point...

For the more scientifically inclined, you learn in your biology class that every species is evolving. Survival of the fittest. Only the fastest prey survive from being killed by the predator. Likewise only the fastest predator can catch the prey.

How bout something closer to home maybe, like our education system. Streaming in Primary 4 was the first, eliminating the academically weaker students. So is PSLE...and then in some schools, perhaps the selection into the various Integrated Programmes. Of course the O levels and then A levels. I seriously dont get what the education system is trying to accomplish anyway, they say it allows certain students to move at their own desired pace, but all it does is make them victims of elitism. Yes, elitism. Have you seen all those academically able students make fun of others just cause...they are less academically able? Yes there are some who help others weaker, but their numbers are few (not counting those who help just to show off their superiority in the subject concerned)...I seriously believe that the current education system is flawed, and the meaning of the term "smarter students" needs to be changed. The Bible itself states that God made everyone equal, everyone is equally gifted, no one has any right to look down on others.

Whether you like it or not, natural selection is going on. Evolution is going on mentally - in the mind. Don't you think that we are becoming more like animals, going by the law of "Survival of the Fittest". It's a scary truth, and also a viscous circle.

I quote Darwin -
As many more individuals of each species are born than can possibly survive; and as, consequently, there is a frequently recurring struggle for existence, it follows that any being, if it vary however slightly in any manner profitable to itself, under the complex and sometimes varying conditions of life, will have a better chance of surviving, and thus be naturally selected. From the strong principle of inheritance, any selected variety will tend to propagate its new and modified form.

It is happening now, as you read this...In short, survival of the fittest...

Change in colours...

True colours? I will never show my true colours...Why?

Cos my favourite colours keep changing...HAHA!

Lolz ok not funny...

But yea, come to think of it, I've never had any fixed "favourite colour"...

Heres my lifetime of colour changes all pointed out to you...

Greener pastures - Well the phrases greener pastures means something newer or better...but anyway my favourite colour was green when i was a little kid. Why? I dunno...Must be green power ranger...haha...

Paint the town Red - As i grew in my primary school years, my favourite colour become red. Why? Maybe red is a strong colour associated with passion...Not sure hehe...

Pitch Black - Well, my life became black for a time being. Dunno why. Rather not say.

Blue Revolution - Im calm and cool. Just a natural. Thats the way it should be. Maybe i liked it cos thats the colour of DOTA hosts :)...Well it would have been my FAVOURTEST(lol) of favourite colours until...

Purplelation - Purple is a royal and mysterious colour...The opposites of hot rid and cool blue join together to make this intruiging colour. Purple boosts creativity and is associated with both nobility and spirituality.

Well thats about all my favourite colours...who knows if they might change sooner or later:)

Heroes - Five Years Gone (Ending)

Yo yo hope its enuff...